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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Abiu to be annoyed that child minder gave child (15 months) laxative without permission

203 replies

Abracadabra1989 · 05/07/2021 18:56

Picked child up from childminders yesterday and after a brief chat in the morning where I explained that they was impacted and was struggling, they announced on pick up they had given her Luctulose, didn't inform my of how much or what time and didn't even ask my permission or tell me she was going to do so.
Would you be annoyed, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?
I hate confrontation and was also a little taken a back at the time so didn't say anything.
She has given me some in a syringe to give her at home when she was bunged up a few months ago but I didn't give it her as weren't sure it was for her age and just binned it

OP posts:
amylou8 · 05/07/2021 20:49

Lactulose is sugar, it's an over the counter first line laxative. I couldn't get upset about this, but she should have checked first.

Original poster
Abracadabra1989 · 05/07/2021 20:53

The contract states she can give Calpol and ibuprofen which are correct for her age and can apply suncream and nappy rash creams.
I'm more concerned that she didn't know if she was on other laxatives or whether I had already given her some.
I am going to speak to her about it tomorrow as I'm not happy but I find her not really a people person or easy to talk to so not looking forward to it

OP posts:
Maggiesfarm · 05/07/2021 20:53

She should not have done that.

Comedycook · 05/07/2021 20:55

I'm more concerned that she didn't know if she was on other laxatives or whether I had already given her some

Yes this is very concerning.

NursieBernard · 05/07/2021 20:57

What are you doing about your DD's impaction?

nimbuscloud · 05/07/2021 21:00

Police?? Really??

ScaredNotAnxious · 05/07/2021 21:02

@TheDoctorDances

Correct me if I’m wrong, but believe without permission that is assault and battery.
You're wrong.
NavigationCentral · 05/07/2021 21:03

My 17 month old has been prescribed it various times and we now use it on the odd rare occasion. I absolutely wouldn’t get bothered about this. Abs whoever screaming assault battery police just have a word with yourself.

ScaredNotAnxious · 05/07/2021 21:03

@Abracadabra1989

The contract states she can give Calpol and ibuprofen which are correct for her age and can apply suncream and nappy rash creams. I'm more concerned that she didn't know if she was on other laxatives or whether I had already given her some. I am going to speak to her about it tomorrow as I'm not happy but I find her not really a people person or easy to talk to so not looking forward to it
That last sentence is a reason enough not to use her - why did you? Don't leave your child with someone you're uncomfortable with.
Comedycook · 05/07/2021 21:03

@nimbuscloud

Police?? Really??
Like I said, I have no idea of its a crime or not but I'd certainly be checking with them.
StayOffYourPhone · 05/07/2021 21:06

@Comedycook

I'm more concerned that she didn't know if she was on other laxatives or whether I had already given her some

Yes this is very concerning.

Agreed
strawberrydonuts · 05/07/2021 21:08

Kind of shocked that 17% think you are being unreasonable.

It's absolutely not OK for someone who is not a medical professional to give medication to your children without your consent.

I would be questioning her professionalism for sure. Anyone who knows anything about looking after other people's children should know to be very, very careful about things like this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/07/2021 21:10

I am surprised that lactulose is so regulated in babies now. Dd is 13. It wasn’t then as far as I’m aware and I bought it and gave it to her on occasion on the advice of someone, who is a midwife. It may well be that the cm isn’t aware that there has been a rule change - I’m presuming is a rule change.

If you don’t want to confront the cm, perhaps send her a photo of the nhs advice. It is clear not to give under 14 without consulting a doctor and say you are concerned rather than going 0-60. See what she says?

strawberrydonuts · 05/07/2021 21:12

@Thisisthemonth

I'd say, thanks for helping my child feel less in pain. . and move on
Of course, in most circumstances, it's fine.

But there are cases in which it's very problematic if people who are not parents decide to medicate children.

What if the child was allergic to the medicine and the childminder didn't know, for example? Then they are in a situation where a child is having a severe allergic reaction to a medication that they did not have permission to give.

Procedures are in place for a reason and any professional working with children will know this.

When a childminder takes on a child, they should get a list of approved medicines that can be given to a child. In all other circumstances they shouldn't give anything unless they've contacted the parent or a medical professional.

lurkermum · 05/07/2021 21:17

I would honestly report. To the police/ social . It could be nothing. It could be a sign of wider issues. It’s not something to down play at all.

21Bee · 05/07/2021 21:19

Lactulose isn’t prescription only for over 1s. I bought some at the chemist this weekend for my 13 month old.

She should have asked but all of this call the police chat is clearly ridiculous.

Toddlerteaplease · 05/07/2021 21:25

@Beautiful3

To me personally, it's fine. It's not a controlled drug that requires a prescription.
I wouldn't be bothered either. If it was my child. 1 dose of lactulose will not do any harm. But I would ask that she didn't give it again. (I'm a paediatric nurse though)
Fitforforty · 05/07/2021 21:29

@geojellyfish

Lactulose isn't prescription is it? I get your annoyance, but I couldn't get myself worked up over this.

She was trying to make your child more comfortable and probably assumed you'd be fine with it since you accepted some from her previously (since you took it home). If the relationship is otherwise good and you trust her decision making ordinarily, I'd just say you aren't comfortable with her administering medication without asking you.

Only for those over the age of 14 yrs.
fudgesmummy · 05/07/2021 21:30

Crikey 😲
Childminder here, I’m totally shocked that she thought that was an ok thing to do!
No. No. No

Fitforforty · 05/07/2021 21:31

My biggest concern is that a childminder thinks this is acceptable. This is something basic that every childminder should know not to give meds without permission. I would be wondering what else they are doing or not doing.

viques · 05/07/2021 21:33

@Comedycook

Right a quick look on the nhs website says do not give it to children under 14 unless recommended by a doctor
If that is right then the CM was in effect prescribing a medication. This is technically illegal since she is not a health care professional.
ClawedButler · 05/07/2021 21:38

Well yes, it is really just sugar water and yes you can give it to really little ones, but what bothers me is that the CM didn't know what else was being done about it and hadn't bothered to wait to find out. It's alongside giving a kid a Snickers without finding out if they had a peanut allergy first - it won't cause problems 99% of the time, but the 1% could be catastrophic.

Probably not an actual crime, but it would be enough for me to take my child out of her care immediately and report to OFSTED.

MissChanandlerBong90 · 05/07/2021 21:38

I don’t think it’s a police matter. But I do think it’s pretty serious. As others have said the guidance on the NHS website is pretty clear. They haven’t put that yellow warning there for fun.

I would speak to her and consider withdrawing my child.

Abiu to be annoyed that child minder gave child (15 months) laxative without permission
Abiu to be annoyed that child minder gave child (15 months) laxative without permission
StopCryingYourHeartOut · 05/07/2021 21:46

My husband took our 3 year old to the chemist a few weeks ago with constipation and they recommended lactulose, gave it over the counter.

Comedycook · 05/07/2021 21:48

@StopCryingYourHeartOut

My husband took our 3 year old to the chemist a few weeks ago with constipation and they recommended lactulose, gave it over the counter.
So you saw a pharmacist..a professional yes?