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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Abiu to be annoyed that child minder gave child (15 months) laxative without permission

203 replies

Abracadabra1989 · 05/07/2021 18:56

Picked child up from childminders yesterday and after a brief chat in the morning where I explained that they was impacted and was struggling, they announced on pick up they had given her Luctulose, didn't inform my of how much or what time and didn't even ask my permission or tell me she was going to do so.
Would you be annoyed, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?
I hate confrontation and was also a little taken a back at the time so didn't say anything.
She has given me some in a syringe to give her at home when she was bunged up a few months ago but I didn't give it her as weren't sure it was for her age and just binned it

OP posts:
me4real · 05/07/2021 23:12

YANBU that's quite a strong and unpredictable med.

I imagine most childminders don't even give Calpol or anything unless the parent has previously said it's ok.

I suppose she previously gave you some and she might've seen you taking it from her as meaning you were ok with it.

But still, it does seem wrong.

MimiDaisy11 · 05/07/2021 23:12

While she should have gotten permission I wonder if your response to the syringe of it last time influenced her. From your writing you accepted it from her but privately binned it. I think would have been wiser to have been straight with her and just say she’s not someone you’re interested in taking medicine and medical advice from on this topic and that you’ve got appointments with GP etc.

Almondcroissant25 · 05/07/2021 23:13

@Comedycook if you want to centre your argument on my use of ‘Karen’ as opposed to discussing the actual situation at hand, crack on haha.

If it wasn’t sugar water, then there would be a huge issue. But it was sugar water. Talk to the child minder about how much she over stepped the line, and move on.

motogogo · 05/07/2021 23:14

Calm down! It's available over the counter for children from 12 months old. The child minder should have asked but she didn't administer prescription medication, it's not different to calpol

motogogo · 05/07/2021 23:15

@LeonieSims you can, from boots, for toddlers 1 year +

StormcloakNord · 05/07/2021 23:15

Goodness I couldn't find it in me to get worked up over this.

It's nothing dangerous & she was obviously just looking to give your child some comfort/relief.

finallyfoundout · 05/07/2021 23:15

If it wasn’t sugar water, then there would be a huge issue. But it was sugar water.

It is prescription medication, irrespective of ingredient, that's what makes this an issue. It is prescription medication.

Comedycook · 05/07/2021 23:16

[quote Almondcroissant25]@Comedycook if you want to centre your argument on my use of ‘Karen’ as opposed to discussing the actual situation at hand, crack on haha.

If it wasn’t sugar water, then there would be a huge issue. But it was sugar water. Talk to the child minder about how much she over stepped the line, and move on.[/quote]
You can keep calling it sugar water but the nhs guidelines state if a child is under 14, it should only be given if a doctor recommends it. It is not up to the child minder to apply her own interpretation.

Aalvarino · 05/07/2021 23:17

Please listen to the medic here. I think this is a storm in a teacup. No harm is going to come to this child from a one-off dose of lactulose unless they have galactosemia or some very unusual condition. Or a life threatening bowel obstruction... Paractemol (which my childminder gave both of mine on occasion) is far more dangerous.

Tanith · 05/07/2021 23:17

Almondcroissant25 i simply asked if you were qualified in paediatric medicine. I’ll take that as a “No”, then.
You certainly aren’t aware of the law with regards to childcare and the EYFS.

Aalvarino · 05/07/2021 23:18

The medic being @Almondcroissant25 and definitely not me...

me4real · 05/07/2021 23:21

@LeonieSims Babies and children can take lactulose if their doctor recommends it. Do not give lactulose to a child under the age of 14 years unless your doctor has said so. www.nhs.uk/medicines/lactulose/

And a mate has it prescribed- he takes it sometimes and it's pretty hardcore stuff.

The safety and efficacy in children aged 0-18 years has not been established. www.boots.com/lactulose-3-3g-5ml-oral-solution-500ml-10074963

@Abracadabra1989 This is pretty serious actually, at least enough to be worth reporting if there's anywhere to report to. Depending how happy you are with her in general, you could stick with her if you want but make it clear you don't want to give any meds etc you haven't agreed to. But if you wanted to find someone new that'd be understandable, too.

Nannyamc · 05/07/2021 23:21

Have been prescribed this as an adult and find it severe Not always worked and ended up with pain bloating and severe wind pains. My children i gave sugared water brown sugar and got them to go regularly after a couple of hours it worked

Aalvarino · 05/07/2021 23:22

Hardcore stuff?? Seriously?

Throckmorton · 05/07/2021 23:23

The child could have galactosemia for all the childcare providers knows, which is why she shouldn't be giving out drugs in this way.

JacktomyDaniel · 05/07/2021 23:23

@Curiosity101

I literally just bought a bottle of Lactulose a day or two ago (30 weeks pregnant 😅). It has dosage instructions for babies, children aged 1-6 all the way up to adults. So I really couldn't get crazy upset about this to be honest. It's not something you should treat in a small child without GP guidance, and certainly not as a CM without parental authority, but it's one dose...

If I were you I'd double check your CM contract and have a good read of the section on medication. See if it's ambiguous at all.

Then you're going need to decide if you feel comfortable having a conversation with her to explain you didn't give authority for this and in future she isn't allowed to give any medications without your prior consent. If necessary get the medicine part of the contract updated.

If you don't feel comfortable with the confrontation, or if you're not sure you'd trust her to follow the agreement then you'll have to look for someone else.

I definitely wouldn't report her for this though. It's not a dangerous medication, and whilst she needs to be clear not to do it again she gave it to your child cause she cares.

This!
Aalvarino · 05/07/2021 23:26

You would genuinely hope the parent had told the childcare provider that the child had galactosemia if so.

Almondcroissant25 · 05/07/2021 23:27
  • I’m aware it’s a prescription med, as I have prescribed it. You can also buy it from a pharmacist without a script from your doctor.
  • the NHS guidelines are guidelines. Like they say pregnant women shouldn’t drink more than 200mg of coffee per day, but of course they do. It is a guide.
  • I’m qualified in medicine, therefore know plenty about how medicine works, whether that be on a baby or a geriatric patient - both of who I see regularly. I have no clue on childcare laws, as I stated earlier, I am not qualified in childcare.

Thank you @Aalvarino for being a voice of reason. It is most definitely a storm in a teacup. I am now retiring to bed, as my extensive medical knowledge and decades of experience don’t seem to matter an iota haha 😉

finallyfoundout · 05/07/2021 23:33

@Almondcroissant25

- I’m qualified in medicine, therefore know plenty about how medicine works

Ok, so you know and can argue the toss all day long, you know you are correct. I take that. Now turn it around, the childminder does not know this. They are not qualified in medicine. They don't know how it works. It may be lactose today, it the concern and reason people are suggesting this is reported is that it may not be lactulose tomorrow.

EmeraldShamrock · 05/07/2021 23:34

Does your child have a medical condition which causes her to become constipated? Why aren't you treating it?
As a DM of 2 DC that suffered severe constipation you need to see a gp for movical and investigation.

She should have refused to take her, rather than medicate her and if she's any concerns of neglect, then report you to at least your HV.
Agreed she should have refused to take her, as she did its awful seeing a child doubled up in pain with constipation especially if impacted pressure on the bottom makes any move is severely painful.
Your little girl was obviously in pain.
Lactulose is available without prescription she should have phoned you.
BTW it'll be useless if impacted.

Shinysilversloes · 05/07/2021 23:35

I don’t think you should have a left a sick child at the child minders.

Sickofpeppapig · 05/07/2021 23:36

As much as she might have had well intentions, YANBU!! Unless a doctor had approved lactulose for your child and you had given full consent and guidance to her on how to administer it, then she had no right to do that. She should atleast be challenged on that choice. Even if it's not necessarily a reportable issue, she breached the contract you signed about medication and she didn't record any information about it or inform you until after the fact. Unless she's a doctor or a parent she should not be making medical decisions unless you have given consent, even for over the counter medications.

Raise this with her!!! It will be uncomfortable but its important. If you don't she might give your child or another a medication that's riskier than lactulose out of "good intentions".

stevalnamechanger · 05/07/2021 23:37

@geojellyfish

Lactulose isn't prescription is it? I get your annoyance, but I couldn't get myself worked up over this.

She was trying to make your child more comfortable and probably assumed you'd be fine with it since you accepted some from her previously (since you took it home). If the relationship is otherwise good and you trust her decision making ordinarily, I'd just say you aren't comfortable with her administering medication without asking you.

This
EmeraldShamrock · 05/07/2021 23:45

In Ireland its available over the counter from 12 months at €3.
It costs €50 for a GP telephone consultation. As long as DC is having plenty of liquid its similar to nurofen or calpol. Check with your pharmacist for clarification.

EmeraldShamrock · 05/07/2021 23:53

Did you sign anything to say over the counter medication can be given when needed.

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