Abiu to be annoyed that child minder gave child (15 months) laxative without permission

[Abracadabra1989]

Picked child up from childminders yesterday and after a brief chat in the morning where I explained that they was impacted and was struggling, they announced on pick up they had given her Luctulose, didn't inform my of how much or what time and didn't even ask my permission or tell me she was going to do so.
Would you be annoyed, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?
I hate confrontation and was also a little taken a back at the time so didn't say anything.
She has given me some in a syringe to give her at home when she was bunged up a few months ago but I didn't give it her as weren't sure it was for her age and just binned it

"Bloody hell you lot have such a pitchfork mentality. It’s an extremely safe and commonly used medicine. Much like calpol or aspirin."

Neither Calpol or aspirin is an extremely safe medicine. Great Ormond Street recommends that aspirin is not given to chldren under 16 unless prescribed by a doctor.

No child should ever be given any medicine without advance permission from parents. That's why so many have Calpol permission written into their policies for an emergency and still contact parents for permission first. Good heavens! We even need permission to apply suncream!

I’m just going to post these screenshots from the NHS website again.

And please don’t call women ‘Karens’ - it’s a misogynistic slur.

[quote Almondcroissant25]@finallyfoundout I mean exactly what I said. Read it again if you don’t understand.

I really feel for this child minder - whose career will essentially be ruined - because a bunch of pitchfork-wielding Karens are up in arms.

1. Talk to the childminder, have an honest conversation, set boundaries.
2. Let it go.[/quote]

Oh. Then you mean wrong.

It's absolutely not ok for a childminder to do this.

[quote Almondcroissant25]@finallyfoundout I mean exactly what I said. Read it again if you don’t understand.

I really feel for this child minder - whose career will essentially be ruined - because a bunch of pitchfork-wielding Karens are up in arms.

1. Talk to the childminder, have an honest conversation, set boundaries.
2. Let it go.[/quote]

So you think objecting to a childminder giving out medicine without parental consent or under doctors advice makes someone a "Karen" . Dear lord, you must have a very low bar for childcare professionals.

talk to the childminder, have an honest conversation, set boundaries

The boundaries are already there

As others have mentioned, this is absolutely not allowed. Childminders must get permission (preferably written unless an emergency) to give children any medication at all and need to record any medication given and ask parents to sign. This is really basic stuff and it would be a huge red flag for me. I would consider contacting ofsted about this.

I couldn’t get worked up about this.

I would be furious. She had no right to provide your DC with a drug without your permission or agreement. I would find it hard to trust her after this and would find another CM.

[quote Almondcroissant25]@Tanith they are extremely safe if used correctly, as I’m sure the child minder did, due to the child being I assume still very much alive. The safety margins on these drugs are huge - hence why they are allowed to fall into the ‘over the counter’ category.

@MissChanandlerBong90 don’t be a Karen then.

@finallyfoundout again, read what I said. I never said the child minder acted correctly. What I actually said is that I would be telling the child minder it is unacceptable. But I wouldn’t be trying to ruin her career because of it.

@Comedycook I think telling a stranger over the internet to report a child minder they have never met to the police or social services makes them a Karen, yes. Once again, I agree the child minder acted wrongly, but I certainly wouldn’t be going after their blood over this.[/quote]

Ok. I read it again. You said...

If she thought it would land her in trouble she wouldn’t have done it!

I replied...

Surely it's absolute basic for a childminder to know they cannot administer prescription medication to a child

And it is absolutely basic. If the childminder isn't competent with the basics what else is she failing on?

Tbh I didn't expect you to understand, you showed your mentality when you started referring to people as 'Karens' - particularly as the people you refer to were in the right here.

Lacutolose is a drug and they should not be medicating your child without prior written consent. The Lactulose instructions say age 14 and up or younger if doctor says so.

Any decent childminder would be feeding her tinned prunes to sort her tum out not drugs.

Honestly I would fire the childminder if it was me or at very least go absolutely mental at her. She needs to understand that she crossed a very serious line here.

[quote Almondcroissant25]@Tanith they are extremely safe if used correctly, as I’m sure the child minder did, due to the child being I assume still very much alive. The safety margins on these drugs are huge - hence why they are allowed to fall into the ‘over the counter’ category.

@MissChanandlerBong90 don’t be a Karen then.

@finallyfoundout again, read what I said. I never said the child minder acted correctly. What I actually said is that I would be telling the child minder it is unacceptable. But I wouldn’t be trying to ruin her career because of it.

@Comedycook I think telling a stranger over the internet to report a child minder they have never met to the police or social services makes them a Karen, yes. Once again, I agree the child minder acted wrongly, but I certainly wouldn’t be going after their blood over this.[/quote]
Can you stop with the misogyny please.

Tell her it was wrong of her to do this. I expect she had your child’s best interest at heart. She was honest and told you what she did and gave you a syringe of more. Yes, it wasn’t right, but what do you gain by reporting her? Tell her it’s serious, that she shouldn’t do that to any child without permission but why are people so quick to report?

Almondcroissant25 I'd like to know why you think you know better than GOSH, the NHS and the qualified childminders on here that are all telling you you're wrong.
Are you qualified or experienced in either medicine or childcare?

@finallyfoundout yes it is basic, but if she thought it would land her in trouble she obviously wouldn’t have done it. Our points are not mutually exclusive… I think you aren’t understanding that I agree that the child minder was wrong. However, I wholeheartedly disagree that she should lose her career over it.

@Tanith I am qualified in medicine yes, although not in childcare. Lactulose essentially is ‘sugar water’. People need to calm down.

@Almondcroissant25

yes it is basic, but if she thought it would land her in trouble she obviously wouldn’t have done it. Our points are not mutually exclusive… I think you aren’t understanding that I agree that the child minder was wrong.

I totally understand you agree the childminder was wrong. Why are you suggesting otherwise? I was talking about the fact that if she does not know that she could get into trouble for it, as you suggest, then she isn't even up to basic standards.

However, I wholeheartedly disagree that she should lose her career over it.

Well would you trust your child with someone who doesn't understand not to give them prescription medication?

And what qualification is that? Is it in paediatric medicine?

[quote Almondcroissant25]@Tanith I am qualified in medicine yes, although not in childcare. Lactulose essentially is ‘sugar water’. People need to calm down.[/quote]

What if it wasn't? What if it was something else?

Nobody needs to 'calm down' - people need to speak up.

"I am going to speak to her about it tomorrow as I'm not happy but I find her not really a people person or easy to talk to so not looking forward to it"

I'd worry about leaving my child with someone I was nervous about speaking about the care of my child with. Shouldn't childminders be the epitome of people persons?

To be honest, as soon as you use the term "Karen" you pretty much have lost the argument

@Comedycook

I'd be removing my child asap. I'd also be reporting them to the local authority, Ofsted and perhaps the police in all seriousness.

The Police? FFS get a grip

@finallyfoundout I agree, and no I wouldn’t trust her, I would tell her what she’s done and how unacceptable it is then I would move on. I wouldn’t go to the police/ofsted/social services.

@Tanith I am not running through my qualifications to a stranger online because they demand it. I wasn’t even going to bring up my job. I have prescribed Lactulose (not that it needs prescribing) numerous times over my career and am completely familiar with it. Hence why I commented on this post.

Again - Calm. Down.

Lactulose is an over the counter item.

I really wouldn't be bothered. DS struggles with constipation sometimes, quite a lot recently actually as he's refusing to drink much water or juice then ends up bunged up. He cries in such agony.

I'd be glad she'd taken the initiative to give him something to help relieve him.

If you trust this person with your child's life on a daily basis, I'd trust them to give relief at the appropriate time to save my child further pain.

Does lactulose need to be prescribed? I thought you could just buy it?