Abiu to be annoyed that child minder gave child (15 months) laxative without permission

[Abracadabra1989]

Picked child up from childminders yesterday and after a brief chat in the morning where I explained that they was impacted and was struggling, they announced on pick up they had given her Luctulose, didn't inform my of how much or what time and didn't even ask my permission or tell me she was going to do so.
Would you be annoyed, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?
I hate confrontation and was also a little taken a back at the time so didn't say anything.
She has given me some in a syringe to give her at home when she was bunged up a few months ago but I didn't give it her as weren't sure it was for her age and just binned it

I'd be furious. I'd remove my child and report her to ofsted.
I don't say this lightly, I work in a preschool, reporting to ofsted would have to be something unforgivable for me.

No way. She should t have

But are you sure he’s impacted? Impaction can be a medical emergency. If you feel they really are impacted. Please don’t hesitate to call 111. It can become a medical emergency. Don’t take too lightly. This really need a dr

You handed over your child to the woman in full knowledge she was backed up and in your own words "struggling", and had seemingly done nothing to help with this impaction. I'd expect a handover like this to include some kind of brief on what you have administered (if you had administered anything) and what your expectations are for the day.

I get the red tape around administering medicine and I would be a bit surprised in your situation too. But you accepted lactulose from her previously, (even if you didn't give it) so I can imagine the CM wrongly thought you would be happy for DD to receive a dose on this occasion.

I think you have bigger problems though as you don't appear to have a good, communicative relationship with the CM, which I feel is a fundamental for a positive parent-carer relationship.

Plus. Lactalose isn’t a good drug to give a child. Due to the way it moved the stool.

You need to speak to a doctor about constipation. Health visitors are not medically trained. She shouldn't be left constipated over a lengthy period of time and doctors will be able to give actual practical help. Your LO must be quite distressed and if left, the impactation could cause serious bowel problems. Hope she's ok and you're ok, it's hard to deal with as a parent.

I am going to speak to her about it tomorrow as I'm not happy but I find her not really a people person or easy to talk to so not looking forward to it

I get not liking confrontation, but i wouldn’t be leaving my child in the care of someone who i felt there were problems communicating with. And that’s regardless of this incident (which would absolutely confirm to me the need for my child to be looked after by someone else).

Is it or is it not a POM for children??
If not and you have signed a waiver saying the childminder may administer non-prescription medicines as long as they let you know, I'm really not sure it's something to get in a lather about. If it is a POM or behind-the-counter and only on pharmacist advice then that is a bit different.

I looked at the BNF and it seems like something that is not regulated for this age group unless you're giving additional doses according to observed response. Maybe someone can correct me?

@Abracadabra1989 you need to report her to social services and ofsted. This woman should absolutely not be a childminder.

I am so cross on your behalf. Please put your dc's safety and well-being first, don't take her back. How many times has she administered it and forgotten to mention it?

Medication cannot br given without parental consent and then as pp said paperwork has to be signed.

Please please please don't take your child back.

I would be annoyed at this

YANBU! A laxative is a medicine, and she shouldn't be giving medicines without permission. There are several conditions which would make it inadvisable to take laxatives. Lactulose is safer than most laxatives; still she should not just give it without asking.

it wouldnt get me in a tither , let alone enough to confront her or start ringing the police to waste their time , are some of these replies for real ?

@Thisisthemonth

I'd say, thanks for helping my child feel less in pain. . and move on

Not much of a thinker, are you?

@Nocutenamesleft

Plus. Lactalose isn’t a good drug to give a child. Due to the way it moved the stool.

It's completely fine for children.

@Abracadabra1989

The contract states she can give Calpol and ibuprofen which are correct for her age and can apply suncream and nappy rash creams. I'm more concerned that she didn't know if she was on other laxatives or whether I had already given her some. I am going to speak to her about it tomorrow as I'm not happy but I find her not really a people person or easy to talk to so not looking forward to it

Your update sounds worse.

I am a cm..I never give Calpol.without consent..only emergency treatment should be given without consent. . I would never give lactalose without consent.
I did have one baby prescribed it once. . I would at times give it the child after school run so they wasn't in a dirty nappy on school run. Forms were filled out and it was agreed with parents.

A parent should always be able to voice there concerns

Bloody hell you lot have such a pitchfork mentality. It’s an extremely safe and commonly used medicine. Much like calpol or aspirin. Tell the child minder it’s unacceptable without your consent and that this could have been reported and could have led to her career being ruined if you were to report it. But don’t be a dickhead and actually report it. She was genuinely trying to help and made a mistake. If she thought it would land her in trouble she wouldn’t have done it! If someone did this to my kid, I’d be a little taken aback, tell the minder to be mindful of her actions, then forget about it.

You were negligent for not having addressed this medical problem. The childminder shouldn't have given her medicine without your permission. Faults on both sides.

I wouldn't be worried that it would harm my child but I'd be worried about how thick the childminder is that she thinks it's ok to give medication without permission.

Your child could have been allergic to it.
Child could have already had a dose that morning.
Child could be on other medication.

I couldn't trust someone who had such a lack of sense to look after my child.

@Viviennemary haven't read the full thread then? Op is addressing her child's constipation.

@Almondcroissant25

Bloody hell you lot have such a pitchfork mentality. It’s an extremely safe and commonly used medicine. Much like calpol or aspirin. Tell the child minder it’s unacceptable without your consent and that this could have been reported and could have led to her career being ruined if you were to report it. But don’t be a dickhead and actually report it. She was genuinely trying to help and made a mistake. If she thought it would land her in trouble she wouldn’t have done it! If someone did this to my kid, I’d be a little taken aback, tell the minder to be mindful of her actions, then forget about it.

This

Jeez this is awful!! She's a childcare professional who should know better!

She should have asked you

She should have asked first but that said it is only a stool softener, it doesn't move the stool only softens it so it doesn't hurt when it's passed

@Almondcroissant25

Bloody hell you lot have such a pitchfork mentality. It’s an extremely safe and commonly used medicine. Much like calpol or aspirin. Tell the child minder it’s unacceptable without your consent and that this could have been reported and could have led to her career being ruined if you were to report it. But don’t be a dickhead and actually report it. She was genuinely trying to help and made a mistake. If she thought it would land her in trouble she wouldn’t have done it! If someone did this to my kid, I’d be a little taken aback, tell the minder to be mindful of her actions, then forget about it.

What do you mean she wouldn't have done it if she thought it would land her in trouble? Surely it's absolute basic for a childminder to know they cannot administer prescription medication to a child

@Almondcroissant25

Bloody hell you lot have such a pitchfork mentality. It’s an extremely safe and commonly used medicine. Much like calpol or aspirin. Tell the child minder it’s unacceptable without your consent and that this could have been reported and could have led to her career being ruined if you were to report it. But don’t be a dickhead and actually report it. She was genuinely trying to help and made a mistake. If she thought it would land her in trouble she wouldn’t have done it! If someone did this to my kid, I’d be a little taken aback, tell the minder to be mindful of her actions, then forget about it.

This. I couldn't get in a froth about it. It isn't a prescription medication clearly if people are getting it from the chemist.

@finallyfoundout I mean exactly what I said. Read it again if you don’t understand.

I really feel for this child minder - whose career will essentially be ruined - because a bunch of pitchfork-wielding Karens are up in arms.

1. Talk to the childminder, have an honest conversation, set boundaries.
2. Let it go.