To think dogs are as much work as children

[HauteGirlSummer]

We have DC2 on the way and DS is 4.
My son and DH are very pro adding a dog to our family unit. But I'm firmly against it as I just know the majority of the work will fall on me longterm.

My argument to DH was dogs can be as much hard work as children but he thinks definitely not.
He says for example you don't need to arrange a minder for dog and they don't affect a 9-5 work schedule like kids do.
I've never had a dog myself but pretty sure this isn't true? Do people leave their dogs at home all day if they have a 9-5 job or do they have to make arrangements?
Dog-owners please help me out!

I love dogs but I know there's a lot of changes and commitment that comes with being a dog owner.
With a new DC on the way, I don't think I'll have time for a dog tbh. Even when DC will be older. I just don't have the energy for 3 'kids' (counting the dog). DH says I can't count the dog as they're way less work than kids.

AIBU to think dogs require as much work as children?

A new baby and a puppy is not the best idea

Dogs absolutely are a long term commitment and require money and responsible ownership. You shouldn’t leave a dog on its own all day unless you’re prepared to pay for dog walkers and even then they will possibly be very lonely and needy particularly if they’re young with loads of energy to burn off and training required

I personally would wait until after you’d had your second baby and see what happens about if you / one of you is at home more often, you’re doing ok with the two kids and the baby sleeps etc

Yanbu. I got my first dog as a 16 week old puppy (from a rescue) and he was every bit as demanding as the child I had before him, and the one who came after. And he wasn't even a hard-work dog, he housetrained in no time and chewed very little compared to some horror stories I have read.

You'd be daft to take on a dog when you're pregnant.

I tend to have a 4+ hour rule, if I’m out that long the dog Walker takes her out. I find children more portable than dogs.

YANBU. They're both hard work but in different ways.

Our last dog was very undemanding but since she died in February (aged 17), our life has become a lot easier. We also have a toddler, so I speak from experience.

I personally would never own a puppy with small children and certainly not with a baby. They are ridiculously hard work and require your full attention. We won't have another dog now until our daughter goes to school, and even then we'll adopt an adult dog if we can.

They are very hard work. Especially when you have small children. Are you planning on getting a puppy. Sadly we made this mistake. Our kids were 3 and 4 when we decided to get a puppy.. just before lockdown hit. We had him nearly a year and we had to rehome him. I know that I sound awful but I couldn't cope with the poo and wee all over the house with 2 little being stuck at home aswell.. even when he was toilet trained he then went on to chewing the kids toys to shreds and our shoes.. maybe it was bad timing due to lockdown but it was definitely too stressful for me with 2 little kids and the poor pup ended up being shut in the kitchen far too often. So it was in his best interest to he rehomed. It's not a decision to make lightly ( we realise now) and it was my dp that encouraged the idea to get one but it was me stuck at home dealing with 2kids and a crazy puppy while he was at work

Yeah puppies will be work. But an older dog is not as much work as kids. U don't need babysitters. They don't need fed every 2 hours. They don't wake you up during the night. They don't moan haha
But I wouldn't time getting a dog at the same time as a baby. As you will need to walk the dog in all weathers, and it's easier not taking a pram with you.

Your DH is fucking clueless if he thinks a dog can be left alone 9-5 Mon-Fri.

There is absolutely no way dogs are as much work as children. Dogs need fed and walked every day and that's it really. The first year with a puppy is tough but way easier than the first year of a child. They sleep all night from about 13 weeks for a start. You also don't invest the same mental energy with a dog than with a child. As long as they are fed and have shelter dogs are fine. Plus they can be left on their own for hours. You don't get that with a child until they are a teenager. No way would I get a dog while pregnant or with very young children though. Wait till the children are older.

Ha hah hah hah, no a dog is not as much work as a child. Not even close! But I agree new dog with new baby is a very bad idea and it is extra work no matter how they present it. You just don’t need to resort to blatant exaggeration to win the argument of no dog now.

I will never ever EVER get a puppy after having to foster my partner's mum's 3 month old dachshund when she had an accident. The only time I could relax was when the dog was sleeping. I now think you have to have a specific type of energy and personality to take on a puppy. They're incredibly hard work, if you do it right. I know my limitations. If I ever get a dog again it'll be a lazy rescue (and absolutely NOT at the same time as having a baby).

Depends if your getting a dog your going to lock in a cage, sorry crate all day and use like a toy you wish to get out for short bursts. Then wonder why you have a untrained crazy dog like a lot of folk seem too..... or if your going to get a dog and give it the best life for the dog.

Sorry but a 4 year old dosent get a say in this decision....

If it's you doing most of the work and spending all day with a baby and small child and dogthen it's your say.

It's one of those experiences that you just do not and cannot understand until you're in it and it's too late to go back. Probably much like having a child!

It really depends. I have 2 dogs. They are both 16 years old and other than their daily walk they just sleep all day. They dont even notice when we are out all day. We have had long weekends away where my mum went to feed them and walk them once and they were perfectly fine.
Its only the last 2 years or so that they have been like this though. It was a lot of work when they were younger. But back then i didnt hve kids, so it was ok.
I wouldnt want a puppy with young kids. It is a lot of work!

I have a dog and children. In some ways the dog is less work, in some ways more. Some dogs will happily be left for most of the day but others will destroy your house and/or be very unhappy- however you train your pup there's no guarantee that you will get the former. You can take your DC pretty much anywhere you want to go (holidays, days out etc) but not the dog so it can get expensive to have to pay for him to be looked after if you like foreign holidays/non-dog friendly days out. Days out/nights away have to be planned further in advance with a dog- pre-dog we would often pop away as a family for a night at the seaside etc at the last minute but with the dog we need to check that there's somewhere dog friendly available or find a sitter. Also, not everyone wants you to visit with your dog in tow but very few friends would expect you to visit them without your children.

Get an older dog that needs a home. It'll be house trained and less destructive than a pup. Puppies do poos and puddles, and chew things. They cry at night and keep you awake.

@countrypunk

It's one of those experiences that you just do not and cannot understand until you're in it and it's too late to go back. Probably much like having a child!

Yes, but it is still socially acceptable to give up/palm off/sell a pet that is hard work. Whereas you can't really with a child.

Personally, I think a dog and two small children is too much work. Who will walk the dog? Will it be DH?

YANBU. Our (adult) dog cannot be left alone for more than about an hour (separation anxiety), some dogs not even that! Mine also doesn't like other dogs so finding a sitter/boarder is HARD as most will have their own dogs or take other dogs at the same time. It restricts what we can do no end.

Every single thing you plan / do you have to consider can you take the dog with you, if not who will look after it. There was a poster a little while back who was struggling even doing the school run as the dog had separation anxiety and couldn't be left even for half an hour, and she couldn't take it with her for a reason I can't recall. Don't assume you will have a dog that will be happy to go on a day trip, some dogs hate cars and get car sick, some are shy and anxious around strangers or busy situations. And as for a PP saying they don't wake you up at night....not always true!!

Your DH clearly knows sod all about dogs!!

Puppy’s are almost as hard work as a baby. Granted they grow up quicker, but those early months can be pretty tough.

Leaving them does depend on the dog, but you certainly can’t leave a young dog all day on their own. Mine are ok for around 6 hours now a couple of times a week. But I have 3 and they keep each other company. I think they’d pine if they were left completely alone.

So basically if you’re not up for almost the level of commitment that you’d give a child, don’t get a dog at the moment. When the kids are older you might change your mind, but a baby and puppy are not a good combo, trust me!!

@GetTaeFuck

Your DH is fucking clueless if he thinks a dog can be left alone 9-5 Mon-Fri.

👏👏👏 this. And before anyone pipes up with 'oh, my dog is fine, they just sleep all day, they're so lazy aha ha aha ah' - well, that's because they've nothing else to do. If I was locked up alone in a house for 8+hours a day, I'd probably just sleep too

@HappyCamperT5

They are very hard work. Especially when you have small children. Are you planning on getting a puppy. Sadly we made this mistake. Our kids were 3 and 4 when we decided to get a puppy.. just before lockdown hit. We had him nearly a year and we had to rehome him. I know that I sound awful but I couldn't cope with the poo and wee all over the house with 2 little being stuck at home aswell.. even when he was toilet trained he then went on to chewing the kids toys to shreds and our shoes.. maybe it was bad timing due to lockdown but it was definitely too stressful for me with 2 little kids and the poor pup ended up being shut in the kitchen far too often. So it was in his best interest to he rehomed. It's not a decision to make lightly ( we realise now) and it was my dp that encouraged the idea to get one but it was me stuck at home dealing with 2kids and a crazy puppy while he was at work

I'm sorry this happened. Sure it must've been hard. It's definitely not the right time for us, and trying to avoid something like this happening to a poor puppy 🐶

They are harder than babies - you can't put a nappy on them, put them in a sling or give them milk to appease them. Definitely need your youngest to be at least potty trained and safe to leave for 5 mins while you run in and out of the garden to toilet train your pup every 20 minutes (yes, if you dont want accidents in the house, it can be that often in the first week). They can only be left for an hour or two until they are 6 months, then 3-4 at 6 months without needing a toilet break to an absolute max of 4.5/5 hours - any longer isn't fair on them. It is a HUGE commitment and if your dh works, the dog work will fall to you....so wait. My kids were 5 and 3 when we got our first puppy and that was just about doable. We have 2 dogs now (in the space of 3 years)....they are worth the work!

@PrivateParty

Yeah puppies will be work. But an older dog is not as much work as kids. U don't need babysitters. They don't need fed every 2 hours. They don't wake you up during the night. They don't moan haha But I wouldn't time getting a dog at the same time as a baby. As you will need to walk the dog in all weathers, and it's easier not taking a pram with you.

Haha definitely could do with less moaning. My DS is at the stage where he asks about 60 questions a minute and moans when I'm out of answers 🤣😭

Different sort of work. Puppies are much harder than fully grown dogs.

Please don't get a dog if you'd be leaving it 9 - 5. When I worked at the office, I used to come home in the middle of the day to take her out for a walk, or ideally have someone else with her for half the day. 8 hours is too much even as a one off, let alone on the regular.

The real issue is your bloke thinking a dog can be left 9-5. It can’t. And that indicates the extent of his knowledge of dog ownership. There’s no way I’d attempt to have a baby and a puppy, the first year of either are hard work.