To think dogs are as much work as children

[HauteGirlSummer]

We have DC2 on the way and DS is 4.
My son and DH are very pro adding a dog to our family unit. But I'm firmly against it as I just know the majority of the work will fall on me longterm.

My argument to DH was dogs can be as much hard work as children but he thinks definitely not.
He says for example you don't need to arrange a minder for dog and they don't affect a 9-5 work schedule like kids do.
I've never had a dog myself but pretty sure this isn't true? Do people leave their dogs at home all day if they have a 9-5 job or do they have to make arrangements?
Dog-owners please help me out!

I love dogs but I know there's a lot of changes and commitment that comes with being a dog owner.
With a new DC on the way, I don't think I'll have time for a dog tbh. Even when DC will be older. I just don't have the energy for 3 'kids' (counting the dog). DH says I can't count the dog as they're way less work than kids.

AIBU to think dogs require as much work as children?

My dog doesn't notice if I'm out all day and was happily in a routine when I used to work 9-5. But I also had a cat and they'd spend all day cuddled up or playfighting which helped.

I always felt guilty though and life is easier now I work from home. All he does all day is laze around but I'm happier knowing I'm here all day for him if he needs me. Dog-parent guilt is real!

P.s. I never would've got a dog given that I worked 9-5 and lived in the middle of nowhere (not convenient for any dog walker) but the dog was dumped on me so I had to make the best of the situation as I could.

He's very happy and very loved now.

But if I knew I was going to work 9-5, I wouldn't actively get a dog.

YANBU.
Don't do it OP. Dogs are harder to care for than children, you can put children to bed at night

I think they are harder, you can take children out for the day to a zoo an aquarium, a theme park a shopping mall, a hotel, on holiday, the theatre etc.
I can’t understand how anyone every every has a day trip that isn’t a walk if they own a dog. Plus holidays or a weekend break.
I do love dogs but my lifestyle would be so restricted.

I've never had a dog and even I know you can't leave them 9-5 every day. All the dog owners I know either work from home, come home every lunchtime to take their dog out, and / or pay for dog walkers and doggy day care. Ask your husband what the cost of this is locally and tell him since he wants a dog, it should come out of his fun spending money.

Dogs are a HUGE tie and responsibility. I have a dog (not through choice for several reasons) and honestly I find it draining in addition to a baby. Don't get a dog if you aren't 100% sure, it's not fair on them.

I love dogs and have had dogs in the past, but they are super hard work, as much if not more than children (in a different way).

Have a couple of friends who have got dogs in the last couple of years, have destroyed their houses and gardens and nearly broken up their marriages.

I’d say don’t do it unless you are 100% sure you can deal with the change in lifestyle.

YANBU. I adore my wonderful dog but I really really struggled for the first 8 months or so, its hard work, especially if you have no previous experience of having a dog. Our lovely dog is 2 in October and im due our first baby in November and I know for the first few months managing them both will be tough. Theres no way I'd contemplate getting a dog when I was pregnant, it would be madness. Wait til your dc are up a bit and they (and you) can appreciate all the wonderful things a dog can add to your family but don't even consider it for a few years.

Thanks so much for all the responses and eye opening feedback. There's a lot I've learned about dog ownership from your posts!

It's a definite no for us now and it seems it's something worth considering once DCs are teenagers at least 😊😊

Hi op, I know it's been answered a million times but I got a dog and I fell for the hype that my husband and son sprouted, (unwanted puppy I initially said no to) In my mind she'd go on long walks with my husband, my son would play with her in his room, have her on his bed at night etc... Well no, that's not what happened. My husband goes out all day, the dog doesn't last on walks that are very long so I'm left 'holding the baby', my son shuts his door on the dog all day and night. Guess who books and takes her to every vet appointment? Takes her to every grooming appointment? Walks her 90% of the time? Orders her special food and picks it up? And guess who is now the mug that has to try to book her travel half way across the world as our airline won't accept her as cargo! Me. Muggins. The one who didn't want a dog. The woman's work goes up 100% with a dog.

@BusterGonad

Hi op, I know it's been answered a million times but I got a dog and I fell for the hype that my husband and son sprouted, (unwanted puppy I initially said no to) In my mind she'd go on long walks with my husband, my son would play with her in his room, have her on his bed at night etc... Well no, that's not what happened. My husband goes out all day, the dog doesn't last on walks that are very long so I'm left 'holding the baby', my son shuts his door on the dog all day and night. Guess who books and takes her to every vet appointment? Takes her to every grooming appointment? Walks her 90% of the time? Orders her special food and picks it up? And guess who is now the mug that has to try to book her travel half way across the world as our airline won't accept her as cargo! Me. Muggins. The one who didn't want a dog. The woman's work goes up 100% with a dog.

This is exactly what I'm worried will happen with DS abs my husband once the novelty wears off. I'll be left to do everything for the dog and they'll only just nip in to contribute every now abs then when it suits them. Absolutely not having it 🚫

Sorry this has happened to you. So frustrating. What's your long term solution for this? How can you get them to be more involved?

I'm not sure. I just need to suck it up I guess.

Dogs are only hard work if you’re not expecting normal canine behaviour.

Far easier than kids.

it's something worth considering once DCs are teenagers at least

Too late! Why would you take on a dog when they’re about to leave home and you’ll definitely be doing it all?

I think age 5 or 6 onwards, but well before teen years is a good age to get a dog if you want one. I agree with Blossom that teens is too late unless you genuinely want a dog for you, and not for the family. We had our first dog when our youngest was 6 and it was so lovely to see the DC grow up with the dog. We all adored him and he was a really positive and welcome addition to the family.

We've just adopted a dog from a family with a young child because they couldn't manage to look after both. She's incredibly well behaved but she was still too much for them. As for us - first dog for us and I'm loving it, but it is restrictive and only possible because DH now works full time from home.

Dogs do eventually calm down a bit but, depending on the breed, it can take up to 5 years! The first couple of years are often intense. I couldn't imagine trying to do it with a newborn and another little one in tow! 😫

@imstilljenny2

There is absolutely no way dogs are as much work as children. Dogs need fed and walked every day and that's it really. The first year with a puppy is tough but way easier than the first year of a child. They sleep all night from about 13 weeks for a start. You also don't invest the same mental energy with a dog than with a child. As long as they are fed and have shelter dogs are fine. Plus they can be left on their own for hours. You don't get that with a child until they are a teenager. No way would I get a dog while pregnant or with very young children though. Wait till the children are older.

Are you kidding me? Fed and walked and then that’s it in the whole 24 hours? You don’t do any training, mental enrichment, playing? You don’t supervise them chewing? You leave them to wee and poo around the house without checking if they need letting out? You don’t launder their bedding or do extra mopping or hoovering? You don’t do flea and worming treatments, grooming fur, bathing, nail clipping or cleaning ears? This is why silly advice about how easy it is results in dogs being returned as owners can’t cope.

OP, I have had five dogs. It is hard work if you do it properly. Obviously if you just go out all day after a quick walk and throw food in a bowl it’s a piece of piss.

Are you kidding me? Fed and walked and then that’s it in the whole 24 hours? You don’t do any training, mental enrichment, playing?
Playing-yes I throw a ball at her while I'm watching TV sometimes and my son loves running around with her.

Mental enrichment/training. I probably did when she was a pup but not so much now. She's quite lazy at 6 years old and is no bother at all.

You don’t supervise them chewing? She's never chewed. We used a crate for the first year while we were out of the house and has never chewed anything since we stopped using it. She stole shoes and ran into the garden with them when she was a pup but she hardly ever does it now. It was annoying but also quite cute

You leave them to wee and poo around the house without checking if they need letting out? Eh? She was toilet trained by about the time she was 15/16 weeks. Of course I let her out into the garden if she sits at the patio doors. It's not a hassle at all.

You don’t launder their bedding or do extra mopping or hoovering? She doesn't cast at all (she's an Australian labradoodle) so we don't need to worry about hair. We probably Hoover a bit more and wash her beds so yes to a bit more housework.

You don’t do flea and worming treatments, grooming fur, bathing, nail clipping or cleaning ears? We give her tablets once a month and every three months which again takes a second. The groomer does all those other thing you listed.

This is why silly advice about how easy it is results in dogs being returned as owners can’t cope.

I'm sorry I've found having a dog easy. If I had a dog before children I'd probably have found it tough but after the bone crushing tiredness and stomach churning anxiety I had with children there's no way in my opinion a dog compares to this. They're just animals with a tiny brain! They are not small humans.

@GetTaeFuck

Your DH is fucking clueless if he thinks a dog can be left alone 9-5 Mon-Fri.

This. That would be serious neglect. Has he ever had a dog? You’re right OP, they can be a lot of work. Unless DH is going to do at least 50% of the care, I wouldn’t do it in your situation. Toddler, baby and new dog will be way too much.

We got a rescue last year, he’s not a young dog and is very undemanding (toilet trained, doesn’t bark, chew or behave badly) and our kids are older, but it’s still been bloody hard. He’s had health problems which were difficult to deal with. The daily routine of meals, meds and walks needs to be accommodated. We can’t leave him with anyone else to go on holiday for various reasons.

We love him, but to be perfectly honest life is much more difficult and restricted now. Having both had family dogs when we were younger we were aware of what dog ownership involves, but because of the issues with this particular dog it’s been much harder than we expected. It’s pot luck as to whether your dog is healthy and easy to care for or not.

Puppies- don’t even go there. It’s as much work as another new baby, but with more poo and pee to clean up from floors and the likelihood it will chew and destroy things.