AIBU to ask Mumsnet to reconsider a decision

[Mummyoflittledragon]

… to relegate certain threads from the AIBU board.

I imagine AIBU is probably the most active board on Mumsnet and therefore reaches the highest audience. Now when someone creates a thread about children’s boundaries being crossed by certain people and women being scared into silence and being attacked by certain groups, the thread quickly disappears out of AIBU and onto another board.

Once off AIBU, the thread receives far less exposure thus radically reduces the possibility to offer information to the widest possible audience. Information, which could be used to help people and particularly women make safety and / or safeguarding decisions about themselves and their children.

Mumsnet to me is like the BBC (in its hey day) of parenting sites. And as Mumsnet is renowned for being such an esteemed hub for information, AIBU to ask Mumsnet to not give in to outside pressure from certain groups and to stop relegating important informational threads without looking at the wider implications.

I was 10 the first time a male flashed and chased me. I was alone at a bus stop on a quiet road, no other people around. I had never seen adult male genitalia before. I am in my 60s now and I remember the shock and fear as if it were yesterday.
I struggle to express my feelings about the women? parents? on here, who are saying that we should not be allowed to discuss the recent incident and that it is transphobic to do so.
That poor little girl should have been safe in an all women jacuzzi. It should have been an enjoyable experience for her. Her mother should have been able to summon assistance and the man should have been removed.
Safeguarding of children should be a topic that we are allowed to talk about on the main boards of a parenting site. After all, it is acceptable to talk about bullying, domestic violence without those threads being policed and moved.
This facilitating the behaviour of predatory men is one of the most worrying issues happening today, but it is a forbidden topic outside one specifically, misleadingly named area of a parenting website.

[quote FlaminEckVera]@Mummyoflittledragon YANBU. But this thread will either be zapped - or moved from AIBU soon...[/quote]
How do you know?

@PoisoningPigeons

I'm confused now, is it that if one sort of penis is waved in front my daughter while she's naked in a female changing room, that's a bad thing called indecent exposure and I can discuss it in various parts of the board, but if it's another kind of penis then it's a very lovely inclusive event and I can only discuss it on one section of the board?

How am I to distinguish the two types of penis and the two situations?

That’s the whole point. You can’t. And your comment is precisely why I’ve created this thread. I can’t wrap my head around this either.

I've only read your posts OP.

I don't take part in AIBU because it gives a vote to people who can't be arsed reading the thread.

YANBU We had this problem during the 4 years between the Referendum and us actually leaving the EU. Genuine AIBU threads were shunted over to the hard to find Brexit board.

Self ID and other trans issues are some of the most important issues facing women and girls today; if someone starts a genuine AIBU it should stay here. And those who don't like it should hit the hide button rather than report.

I'm confused now, is it that if one sort of penis is waved in front my daughter while she's naked in a female changing room, that's a bad thing called indecent exposure and I can discuss it in various parts of the board, but if it's another kind of penis then it's a very lovely inclusive event and I can only discuss it on one section of the board?

You are quite spot on.

How am I to distinguish the two types of penis and the two situations?

I have been waiting for an answer to that question for a long time now. Better join the queue.

Even better. Some posters can’t scroll past threads or hide them using the tool that MN have thoughtfully provided so believe they should have a personal input into what threads every other user on MN gets to read and where.

I don't take part in AIBU should say voting

*I've only read your posts OP.

I don't take part in AIBU because it gives a vote to people who can't be arsed reading the thread.*

The jokes just write themselves round here!

@2021DNA

*I've only read your posts OP.

I don't take part in AIBU because it gives a vote to people who can't be arsed reading the thread.*

The jokes just write themselves round here!

That did tickle me too! 🤗🤗

The jokes just write themselves round here!

Fair enough but I did read all of the OP's posts as that is what I wanted to engage with. As opposed to seeing the title and voting.

endofthelinefinally I'm sorry that happened to you. It happened to me too. I was chased home from school at age ten. I still remember it clearly now. Safeguarding issues should be on the main board, not hidden away.

How am I to distinguish the two types of penis and the two situations?

You can't. I don't care who the penis belongs to. I don't want any exposed penis near my DD whilst she is getting changed.

@endofthelinefinally

I was 10 the first time a male flashed and chased me. I was alone at a bus stop on a quiet road, no other people around. I had never seen adult male genitalia before. I am in my 60s now and I remember the shock and fear as if it were yesterday. I struggle to express my feelings about the women? parents? on here, who are saying that we should not be allowed to discuss the recent incident and that it is transphobic to do so. That poor little girl should have been safe in an all women jacuzzi. It should have been an enjoyable experience for her. Her mother should have been able to summon assistance and the man should have been removed. Safeguarding of children should be a topic that we are allowed to talk about on the main boards of a parenting site. After all, it is acceptable to talk about bullying, domestic violence without those threads being policed and moved. This facilitating the behaviour of predatory men is one of the most worrying issues happening today, but it is a forbidden topic outside one specifically, misleadingly named area of a parenting website.

Yes, how did we get here?

Why is it not universally agreed that this man should have been immediately removed from a female only space?

All this talk around and around in circles but we never actually get to the point: why are we rapidly entering a time when women can't complain about naked men in female spaces and have those men immediately removed?

In fact, why aren't this man's actions seen as criminal?

YANBU
I've only read your posts OP.

I don't take part in AIBU because it gives a vote to people who can't be arsed reading the thread.

Ummmm.... did you write that with a straight face as you are literally doing what you're accusing others of doing? As in not being arsed to read the thread lol!
You've blindly agreed with the OP despite admitting you haven't bothered to read the thread.
I can't even

OH, OK, slow loading pages today, just seen I'm not the only one to be like "whut?" at that

Yet certain people think it is a joke. Amusing.

An echo chamber on 'one side' and what looked like a few lone voices on the other 'side', being constantly shouted down

So some people agreeing on one ‘side’ and some people agreeing on the other ‘side’

Mumsnet are creating the echo chamber

@2021DNA

PurgatoryOfPotholes

Can you point out the post where I said I didn’t believe her? Because I can point you in the direction of the post where MN want a statement about it from the cast of Harry Potter.

If you did not intend to cast doubt on her reliability as a witness, then what was the relevance of her past social media posts?

ftr, while i am 100% an Ally, i personally don't think anyones genitalia should be 'waving around' in a changing room.

I despise public changing rooms and think they ought to all be single or family occupancy cubicles.

That would solve this 100% in ALL cases, trans, cis, or anything in between.

Yet certain people think it is a joke. Amusing

I was referring to the poster saying they didn't vote as it gave people who didn't read the thread a vote whilst in the same breath saying they hadn't read the thread either, and YANBU OP.
That was pretty funny to be fair.

Ok so back to the thread title?

@Batsy

ftr, while i am 100% an Ally, i personally don't think anyones genitalia should be 'waving around' in a changing room.

I despise public changing rooms and think they ought to all be single or family occupancy cubicles.

That would solve this 100% in ALL cases, trans, cis, or anything in between.

It wasn't a changing room. It was a female only spa/jacuzzi/massage area. A place for females of all ages to relax together away from men. A naked man deliberately entered the space and got into the jacuzzi right next to a child.

Thanks for coming back to me PurgatoryOfPotholes. You haven’t responded to my previous question though. I’ll wait for your response to that before we discuss anything else.

Sorry Mummyoflittledragon. I am bowing out now. The deliberate misrepresentation of the issue is upsetting. Of course the point of the thread is the moving of threads.

Mind you, I've seen people try to argue in good faith but if they're going against the echo chamber (on either 'side') they'll get told they don't know what they're talking about, even when relaying personal experiences

Oops sorry worra missed this completely!

@2021DNA

Thanks for coming back to me PurgatoryOfPotholes. You haven’t responded to my previous question though. I’ll wait for your response to that before we discuss anything else.

Oh, I think I was very clear. So as you believe her, you must be absolutely sickened to think that your comments on her social media history could have implied that you didn't.