AIBU to ask Mumsnet to reconsider a decision

[Mummyoflittledragon]

… to relegate certain threads from the AIBU board.

I imagine AIBU is probably the most active board on Mumsnet and therefore reaches the highest audience. Now when someone creates a thread about children’s boundaries being crossed by certain people and women being scared into silence and being attacked by certain groups, the thread quickly disappears out of AIBU and onto another board.

Once off AIBU, the thread receives far less exposure thus radically reduces the possibility to offer information to the widest possible audience. Information, which could be used to help people and particularly women make safety and / or safeguarding decisions about themselves and their children.

Mumsnet to me is like the BBC (in its hey day) of parenting sites. And as Mumsnet is renowned for being such an esteemed hub for information, AIBU to ask Mumsnet to not give in to outside pressure from certain groups and to stop relegating important informational threads without looking at the wider implications.

Hellofabore
This thread is staying in AIBU. For the moment at least.
And this thread isn’t specifically about that thread. It’s about a policy decision.

A woman with anti feminist and homophobic content all over her social media claimed that a man shows his penis to women and children in a Spa. Instead of calling the police she got her phone out and filmed herself shouting at the staff in the Spa and posted it online. Then a particular board on MN got upset that Emma Watson didn’t make a statement about it

And yet, any transphobia is reported and deleted.

So, I guess it is a bit more of that hyperbole we get a lot of.

And yet, any transphobia is reported and deleted.

Mostly, yes, but not all of it.

Nearly everyone I’ve spoken to where MN has come up in conversation recognises it as a hotbed of transphobia. Not a good look for MN as a business, which is what they are.

Have they really? I’m surprised.

I never admit to being a MNer IRL situations but I’ve heard several people comment positively on MN as an example of somewhere where both sides - and none - are allowed space to discuss. It was quite a hot topic a year or so ago.

So many people trying to derail the thread to try and get it moved. It's disappointing. I personally would be very concerned if a male flashed his cock in my daughter's face in a spa. Or anywhere else for that matter. Anyone else feel the same?

@Mummyoflittledragon

I’ve had a response. The thread is staying in AIBU.

I’m surprised at the voting split. I think some people are voting against Covid threads and Brexit threads by the sound of some posts?

As for the discussion around the sex and gender debate board, a lot of us are unhappy with the naming. When a thread on safeguarding gets relegated to a topic, which is classed as a debate’, it rather illustrates why we aren’t happy, doesn’t it?

I’m surprised at the voting split. I think some people are voting against Covid threads and Brexit threads by the sound of some posts?

I think you need to go back and read those posts again then.

There have been comparisons made, but nothing that alludes to them not knowing what they're voting for.

WeatherSystems
Mn is pro women, children and safeguarding. Transphobic posts are deleted. My views are simpler to this of JKR, I am therefore not transphobic. I’m pro safeguarding.

Mostly, yes, but not all of it.

I am always happy for transphobic posts to be deleted. Just as I am for posted who make generalisations about other groups of posters on MN.

I am glad that we do agree here Quaggars because you are very well experienced in these discussions and it is great that we agree that transphobia is deleted on MN.

Those saying otherwise are obviously making rather rash generalisations that are unfounded.

@Etorih

So many people trying to derail the thread to try and get it moved. It's disappointing. I personally would be very concerned if a male flashed his cock in my daughter's face in a spa. Or anywhere else for that matter. Anyone else feel the same?

But that's not what this thread is about, the ironic thing is that comments like yours is what will get it moved as its been kept here to discuss whether things should remain or be moved. Otherwise its a TAAT or fits better under the other board.

@Etorih

So many people trying to derail the thread to try and get it moved. It's disappointing. I personally would be very concerned if a male flashed his cock in my daughter's face in a spa. Or anywhere else for that matter. Anyone else feel the same?

Yes I would.

My main concern about all of this is that self ID is open to abuse by anyone with bad motives.

That is to the detriment of women & children and also to the detriment of sincere transwomen.

Only time I’ve heard MN mentioned is either it’s funny or it’s bitchy

MN of all places should be the place that isn’t allowing a small group of people that manipulate the narrative. How many times have we seen woman journalists or those in the public eye bombarded with hateful posts when they state a biological fact. And how many feminist journalists are now completely silent on the issue I am so disappointed but I can also understand why

We should not even been having a discussion in 2021 about women being silenced but we are and this is about our biology

But that's not what this thread is about, the ironic thing is that comments like yours is what will get it moved as its been kept here to discuss whether things should remain or be moved. Otherwise its a TAAT or fits better under the other board.

Surely @Etorih’s post and her question go to the heart of why some posters would like some threads, such as the spa thread, to remain on the main boards?

So apparently this thread is meant to be about whether threads should be moved to the new board or left in AIBU but loads of the messages here just seem to be rehashing the story and proselytizing on the topic of trans people…l think it illustrates the issue and why it should be moved. I don’t come to mumsnet for this. It seriously destroys my enjoyment of the site.

A woman with anti feminist and homophobic content all over her social media claimed that a man shows his penis to women and children in a Spa.

Can you please tell us the background of the woman you would listen to that said 'I don't want a male with a penis to be in the spa with my 6 or 9 year old daughter'?

Because, all day there has been ad hominem attacks on the two women who have stated that this is not acceptable to them.

Which women would you give credibility to and listen to if they stated that this was not ok?

@2021DNA

A woman with anti feminist and homophobic content all over her social media claimed that a man shows his penis to women and children in a Spa. Instead of calling the police she got her phone out and filmed herself shouting at the staff in the Spa and posted it online. Then a particular board on MN got upset that Emma Watson didn’t make a statement about it

Do you remember the #IBelieveHer campaign on mumsnet?

Hint. Searching through the social media history of a victim of indecent exposure, in order to discredit her, is not it.

I've seen the video. The staff who are there and sell the admission tickets believe it happened. The man who comes over to lecture her on how she should be more accepting believes it happened.

The upset crowd of women who've left the spa with her believe it happened.

Nearly everyone I’ve spoken to where MN has come up in conversation recognises it as a hotbed of transphobia.

That rather suggests you might be in your own echo chamber.

I've spoken to people who think like you, people who feel MN is one of the few spaces it's safe to express concerns with the way gender ideology is silencing female experiences, and people who assume MN is just about nappies and the eleven-plus. The latter is by far the biggest group.

I reported a few AIBU posts that should arguably be in other topics. Here’s one of the responses,

It seems only my post HAD to be moved, and it’s very important to let posts started in AIBU continue so they can have the results of their poll

@Peoniesandpeaches

So apparently this thread is meant to be about whether threads should be moved to the new board or left in AIBU but loads of the messages here just seem to be rehashing the story and proselytizing on the topic of trans people…l think it illustrates the issue and why it should be moved. I don’t come to mumsnet for this. It seriously destroys my enjoyment of the site.

And you couldn't scroll on past?

You couldn't look and decide it is not for you?

The majority of those who have voted in the poll think it should be allowed in AIBU. Or do you wish to have AIBU curated just to suit you?

people who assume MN is just about nappies and the eleven-plus. The latter is by far the biggest group.

That is also very true!

PurgatoryOfPotholes

Can you point out the post where I said I didn’t believe her? Because I can point you in the direction of the post where MN want a statement about it from the cast of Harry Potter.

Why can’t we discuss wether penises should be exposed to little girls in AIBU???

Some people seem to think it is obvious that it is unacceptable.

Some people seem to think it is transphobic to discuss it. AIBU seems a good place for a discussion.

I would like to understand this better. Why is it transphobic to discuss this?

No because I have a say, the same as you do, in what I think should be left in AIBU and what should be moved.

I'm confused now, is it that if one sort of penis is waved in front my daughter while she's naked in a female changing room, that's a bad thing called indecent exposure and I can discuss it in various parts of the board, but if it's another kind of penis then it's a very lovely inclusive event and I can only discuss it on one section of the board?

How am I to distinguish the two types of penis and the two situations?

@Mummyoflittledragon YANBU. But this thread will either be zapped - or moved from AIBU soon...