AIBU to ask Mumsnet to reconsider a decision

[Mummyoflittledragon]

… to relegate certain threads from the AIBU board.

I imagine AIBU is probably the most active board on Mumsnet and therefore reaches the highest audience. Now when someone creates a thread about children’s boundaries being crossed by certain people and women being scared into silence and being attacked by certain groups, the thread quickly disappears out of AIBU and onto another board.

Once off AIBU, the thread receives far less exposure thus radically reduces the possibility to offer information to the widest possible audience. Information, which could be used to help people and particularly women make safety and / or safeguarding decisions about themselves and their children.

Mumsnet to me is like the BBC (in its hey day) of parenting sites. And as Mumsnet is renowned for being such an esteemed hub for information, AIBU to ask Mumsnet to not give in to outside pressure from certain groups and to stop relegating important informational threads without looking at the wider implications.

Have you asked MN the question OP? Let us know when you get a response.

"dont pretend you know what you're talking about"

WTF? Who the HELL are people on Fem board to tell ANYONE they dont know what they're talking about?

Are you hearing yourselves here? Good grief.

It’s not the discussion of trans issues i find problematic. It’s the fact that you can’t actually have any form of discussion on MN on trans threads. Click on a few and you’ll see. Express a dissenting opinion and the mob descend to shrewd posters to pieces gleefully. It turns people who are genuinely curious and open minded away.

I disagree. I came to the boards because I was honestly confused and looking for clarification about the debate. I wanted to hear both sides.

I found one side had facts, science and research at its disposal and was able to argue logically and coherently. The other side... didn't and wasn't. To this day, I have never seen crucial and fairly basic questions answered by the other side. If there's an echo chamber on those threads, it's because one side doesn't have the answers.

Brexit isn't an echo chamber on here. Nor are the COVID threads. It is open to everyone to present cogent arguments to prevent the gender identity threads from becoming too one-sided.

I think this one topic is being carefully corralled into a certain sub-section of the board. That said, I appreciate MNHQ are in a difficult spot with advertisers etc.

Any disagreement with other people's views on the feminism / sex & gender boards gets shouted down and disregarded.

Do you think that many different posters posting their opinions means 'shouting'? Genuine question? Do you think once someone has stated an opinion no-one else should question it or agree with it?

I honestly can't understand this mentality that you shouldn't have to read people that disagree with you because it's aggressive or shouting or what have you.

@riotlady

YABU, I’m sick to the back teeth of having a minority of mumsnetters make everything about trans issues. You’ve got a whole board for it, go and post it all there to your hearts content

applause

@Batsy

"dont pretend you know what you're talking about"

WTF? Who the HELL are people on Fem board to tell ANYONE they dont know what they're talking about?

Are you hearing yourselves here? Good grief.

As you well know, and as is evident to anyone scrolling a few posts up, what I said was "don't pretend you know what you're talking about if you don't"

This is the level of 'discussion' people are whining about - literally changing what someone says then SHOUTING in CAPITAL LETTERS about what you're pretending someone says.

It's the polar opposite of arguing in good faith.

Discuss in good faith and don't pretend you know what you're talking about if you don't, and you'll be fine.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

As a woman who has supported a friend through transition, including attending gender clinic appointments with them, I've got a pretty good idea of trans issues.

Doesn't stop me getting shouted down on trans threads because if I don't agree with the transphobes "gender critical" then obviously I'm uneducated / hate women / don't understand / haven't listened / don't know what I'm talking about rather than just having a different opinion informed by my own life experiences.

@WeatherSystems

Discuss in good faith and don't pretend you know what you're talking about if you don't, and you'll be fine.

😂 yes, this attitude fosters open respectful discussion. Have you heard yourself?

Sorry - I'm not sure what you are saying. Could you clarify? (I'm not too good at detecting sarcasm or extrapolating from brief sentences, but I'm used to ableism, so would be most grateful if you could explain to the thicky here what you mean)

Oh FFS, I've just come into AIBU for some light relief and it's the same sodding trans threads rehashed over and over.
Isn't this a TAAT? Thought they weren't allowed on MN.
Agree with the others, YABU.
There's the feminism board for this, just like you get with the corona board or Brexit or whatever

@Batsy

"dont pretend you know what you're talking about"

WTF? Who the HELL are people on Fem board to tell ANYONE they dont know what they're talking about?

Are you hearing yourselves here? Good grief.

I think it was this sort of attitude, along with the sheer volume of trans threads, that meant the new topic was created.

Far too many bun fights and people being 'talked at' and loads of people banned.

I imagine it's calmed down a bit now there's less of it in AIBU.

@DeathByWalkies

Discuss in good faith and don't pretend you know what you're talking about if you don't, and you'll be fine.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

As a woman who has supported a friend through transition, including attending gender clinic appointments with them, I've got a pretty good idea of trans issues.

Doesn't stop me getting shouted down on trans threads because if I don't agree with the transphobes "gender critical" then obviously I'm uneducated / hate women / don't understand / haven't listened / don't know what I'm talking about rather than just having a different opinion informed by my own life experiences.

same here. i just don't bother now, and report any threads i see lurking under the guise of something else.

Not everything is an AIBU

Chat is also a very active topic.

Using the topics more is generally a good thing - if you want actual advice and support that is.

It's entirely up to MNHQ how they set up and moderate the topics

If you don't like MN, it's not compulsory to be here

I think it was this sort of attitude, along with the sheer volume of trans threads, that meant the new topic was created.

Worra did you see that that poster changed what I said?

Goodness me. You’ve crammed a suggestion of ableism into my challenge of your ridiculous sentence, and a self deprecating ‘thicky’ in there too. I can see a trap when in front of my nose so I’ll leave you to it

This entire site would be trans threads if they weren’t kept to the sex / gender forum. If you’re interested in them you can go to that board, but the whole site doesn’t need to be about transgenderism.

@CardinalLolzy

I think it was this sort of attitude, along with the sheer volume of trans threads, that meant the new topic was created.

Worra did you see that that poster changed what I said?

Yes I did but I still think your post was rude.

Worra it was meant in a sort of lighthearted way - not intended to be rude. Very sorry if you took it that way. There are so many people on FWR who 'drive by' just to insult people and refuse to actually engage that it's genuinely what I think would make all the difference, if people could argue in good faith. It's surprisingly rare.

So, I've had multiple posters disagreeing with me, some posting what I've said and explicitly laughing at it, and many being (what I interpret as) sneering, one calling me rude, refusing to explain what they meant when I admit I don't understand etc. Is this what people mean by 'shouting down' and a reason to hide a whole board? Or is it just the normal exchange of opinions - which as a grown adult I think I can just about handle?

Gotta love the consistency !

it was rude and condescending, quite frankly.

@Thisisthemonth

I've put yabu as many (especially anything trans amd feminism related) gets put on aibu purely to bait more people into the discussion rather than using it for the purposes the board was presumably created for.

What was the board created for if not asking the wider MN user group if they think something is unreasonable or not?

Are people to be so infantilised that they cannot scroll past a thread they don't think they will enjoy participating in?

@CardinalLolzy

Worra it was meant in a sort of lighthearted way - not intended to be rude. Very sorry if you took it that way. There are so many people on FWR who 'drive by' just to insult people and refuse to actually engage that it's genuinely what I think would make all the difference, if people could argue in good faith. It's surprisingly rare.

Ahh I see.

Mind you, I've seen people try to argue in good faith but if they're going against the echo chamber (on either 'side') they'll get told they don't know what they're talking about, even when relaying personal experiences

All in all, I can see why HQ moved the topic. It must have been exhausting to moderate at one point.

@CardinalLolzy

It’s the fact that you can’t actually have any form of discussion on MN on trans threads.

That's not true, though, is it? Discuss in good faith and don't pretend you know what you're talking about if you don't, and you'll be fine. I'd love to get more varied opinions over there but questions asked to probe e.g. what has gender got to do with bodies, how does one know what gender they are, etc usually generate interesting discussions yet people don't want to admit when they can't answer e.g. what makes someone a man or woman? or don't want to get into it and just end up saying everyone is right-wing or something.

I've been on there years and repeatedly say I want to know and understand the thought processes behind the opposing POV from mine, and I don't automatically agree with everyone else on there either. A few posters have had the grace to post thoughtful and articulate responses and it usually results in increased mutual understanding.

The blindness would be funny is it weren’t so horribly damaging.

@Gladiolys

This entire site would be trans threads if they weren’t kept to the sex / gender forum. If you’re interested in them you can go to that board, but the whole site doesn’t need to be about transgenderism.

I suppose you have a point there. When I said I didn’t want the thread moved. I meant I didn’t want it to go to sex and gender.

So I’m going to report my thread myself. Then they can decide.

I'm relatively knew to Mumsnet, but its really noticeable how incredibly anti-trans it appears. Perhaps they relegate those type of posts so as not to damage their reputation.

If you're new, maybe you don't know how to report a post? Anything transphobic will be deleted.
HTH