AIBU to ask Mumsnet to reconsider a decision

[Mummyoflittledragon]

… to relegate certain threads from the AIBU board.

I imagine AIBU is probably the most active board on Mumsnet and therefore reaches the highest audience. Now when someone creates a thread about children’s boundaries being crossed by certain people and women being scared into silence and being attacked by certain groups, the thread quickly disappears out of AIBU and onto another board.

Once off AIBU, the thread receives far less exposure thus radically reduces the possibility to offer information to the widest possible audience. Information, which could be used to help people and particularly women make safety and / or safeguarding decisions about themselves and their children.

Mumsnet to me is like the BBC (in its hey day) of parenting sites. And as Mumsnet is renowned for being such an esteemed hub for information, AIBU to ask Mumsnet to not give in to outside pressure from certain groups and to stop relegating important informational threads without looking at the wider implications.

@littleredberries I said that deliberately because of the idiocy of the statement. Of course there is no such thing!

not allowing people the right to disagree and find it offensive, is annoying.

How do you not have the right to disagree? Do so, by all means. But if you don't have a good argument about the effect on women's rights because you haven't really considered it deeply, like 99% of the people complaining about FWR, people will calm you out on that. What is annoying is this selfish entitlement people have to dictate how other people should post.

*call you out

@WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly

Not everyone agrees with you and having this rammed down everyone’s throats at every opportunity, not allowing people the right to disagree and find it offensive, is annoying. Plus you lot are so persistent that everything gets swamped with this vitriol.

What's being rammed down everyone's throats?

Topics that are full of vitriol:

AIBU in general
People posting about dog care
Vegans v meat eaters
Coronavirus threads
Politics threads

All the non AIBU topics here are often posted in AIBU where there is a question involved.

@WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly

Not everyone agrees with you and having this rammed down everyone’s throats at every opportunity, not allowing people the right to disagree and find it offensive, is annoying. Plus you lot are so persistent that everything gets swamped with this vitriol.

So you couldn’t just scroll on past?

The hyperbole meter is off the wall again today.

‘Rammed down everyone’s thought’ … err it is your choice to click on the thread or not. I don’t like threads about cats. I don’t click on them.

‘not allowing people the right to disagree’- you are right here disagreeing. Although, not sure what you are disagreeing with. Do you disagree that a naked male with a penis getting into a hot tub with a 9 year old girl is a safeguarding issue that needs to be discussed?

find it offensive

I find that people have dismissed this incident as being perfectly acceptable to be offensive, but I also believe you hold the right to have that view. Why don’t you start a thread about how offensive it is that others disagree with you.

is annoying. yeah. Ok.

Plus you lot are so persistent that everything gets swamped with this vitriol.

As I posted before, the only vitriol I am seeing on this thread is people with rather clear prejudices that lead them to dismiss a equally clear safeguarding issue.

Maybe the vitriol is coming from the fact it sits uncomfortably for some but they cannot say so because they would be displaying views that could be said to be aligned with, shock, horror, people you have come onto a thread to demonize.

Because this is a general safeguarding issue.

@Ereshkigalangcleg

Topics that are full of vitriol:

AIBU in general
People posting about dog care
Vegans v meat eaters
Coronavirus threads
Politics threads

All the non AIBU topics here are often posted in AIBU where there is a question involved.

Shoes on/shoes off should surely be in there too

Maybe the vitriol is coming from the fact it sits uncomfortably for some but they cannot say so

I think that is often the case (not just here). There comes a point when you can't just handwave all concerns away so easily, so it's better just to avoid it all completely outside of spaces where your cognitive dissonance isn't challenged,

Shoes on/shoes off should surely be in there too

Yes

It took just 24 hours to fill a thread with 1000 posts about whether a school should have swabbed a kid’s nose against the mother’s consent. Talk about vitriol .

But a societal shift that wants to normalise naked males in jacuzzis with children and telling those children not to look or stay away if they’re uncomfortable? Nah…that’s too much vitriol for here, let’s hide it away and let the “obsessed” talk about it only .

Honestly, what is wrong with people? It’s all happening in plain bloody sight!

Ereshkigalangcleg

It is very noticeable on this board how users wish to police discussion to suit them. They are the same people who can never actually state clearly why they disagree without resorting to purely emotive tactics, never any evidence and rarely coherent points.

I actually rarely see the same attitude towards those with such entrenched ‘be kind, but not to ‘those’ people’ from people who are wanting to discuss safeguarding and conflicts on women’s rights.

Personally after spending time on aibu I can't think of anything more vitriolic than inviting someone only to the evening do of a wedding. Peak vitriol there!

Oh yes. And having a loo brush, or showering too much/not enough

And runners during pandemics.

People need to learn the difference between Trans Woman, and Pervert.

Can you tell me how to tell the difference? Male violence / sexual assault does not decrease when someone changes their gender identity to female. This is about all males, no matter how they identify. And some males are a risk to women. We don't have a crystal ball to tell us who will and who won't. Which is why we have sex segregated space.

So, and this is the question people always ignore - how would you draft a policy for this spa that allows in trans women but prevents males who internally identify as men?

Oh yes forgot all those men or males that sexually assault women and girls always have it written in their forehead I am a sexual predator. let’s not call them perverts that diminishes what they actually are and these sexual predators who rape and sexually are a danger to all females

The fact is we don’t know who they are just they are they don’t tell but the cast vast majority of cases of sexual assault and violence towards women are from males

Or is the blame once again being put on us women and girls that we were in the wrong place at the wrong time, said the wrong thing, wearing the wrong clothes or didn’t pick up the danger signs

"So, and this is the question people always ignore - how would you draft a policy for this spa that allows in trans women but prevents males who internally identify as men?"

Ban nudity.. ask people entering the spa to wear swim suits of some description. I don't even understand why anyone thinks its ok for a 9yo to be naked around naked adults of any sex that aren't their parents.. its not like this was a changing room.

As for everyone picking up on my "people need to learn the difference between pervert and trans woman" perhaps take in context of my whole post where i also said that all the Trans Women i know wouldn't ever dream of whipping their tackle out in public.. they're all incredibly dysphoric about it, and what that guy did horrified them.

What i was objecting to was the posters conflating Trans Women=/= pervert, and it's not.

Banning nudity isn't the point. People go there to be nude around other people of the same sex.

No-one's conflating TW and "perverts" - but you seem unable to say how you would differentiate between TW and male men?

(just to be clear - banning nudity, as you suggest, doesn't answer the question of how one would allow TW and not male men to enter the spa, which was the question asked).

=/=

What does this symbol mean?

What i was objecting to was the posters conflating Trans Women=/= pervert, and it's not.

I think the majority here know that theres plenty of decent transexuals who wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. Obviously. But this argument is as meaningless as saying not all men. We know its not all men.(However they identify). But how do we tell which men? we cant

Ban nudity.. ask people entering the spa to wear swim suits of some description.

Oh, I know. Let's tell the cultural community that uses the spa that they should ban nudity because some males cannot understand the needs of females to be able to use a single sex space without having a naked male with an intact penis less than a metre from little girls.

The naked male person who climbed into the jacuzzi naked with a naked child is trans. We know this because they told the person who runs the spa they identify as a woman. That’s why the manager told the protesters that this male had a right to be in there. So no, not all transwomen are perverts. Of course not. Some are, like at the Wi Spa. And some males will use these rules to access places they shouldn’t. How do we tell the difference between these three groups of males, @Batsy?

Oh, I know. Let's tell the cultural community that uses the spa that they should ban nudity because some males cannot understand the needs of females to be able to use a single sex space without having a naked male with an intact penis less than a metre from little girls

Yes. Its the same principle as telling women its their fault if they are sexually assaulted: for walking home at night alone, getting drunk, wearing short skirts. That they were simply asking for it. The blame is laid firmly at the feet of the victim instead of the perpetrator.