AIBU to ask Mumsnet to reconsider a decision

[Mummyoflittledragon]

… to relegate certain threads from the AIBU board.

I imagine AIBU is probably the most active board on Mumsnet and therefore reaches the highest audience. Now when someone creates a thread about children’s boundaries being crossed by certain people and women being scared into silence and being attacked by certain groups, the thread quickly disappears out of AIBU and onto another board.

Once off AIBU, the thread receives far less exposure thus radically reduces the possibility to offer information to the widest possible audience. Information, which could be used to help people and particularly women make safety and / or safeguarding decisions about themselves and their children.

Mumsnet to me is like the BBC (in its hey day) of parenting sites. And as Mumsnet is renowned for being such an esteemed hub for information, AIBU to ask Mumsnet to not give in to outside pressure from certain groups and to stop relegating important informational threads without looking at the wider implications.

@Quaggars

I am glad that we agree though on that it is not because of transphobia as we know that anything transphobic is deleted, and if it is not deleted it is because it was not reported

Just to be clear, I actually said most of the stuff gets deleted, not always though, as in a lot is left to stand.
I never said anything about not being deleted because it was not reported.
My actual words - Mostly, yes, but not all of it in response to And yet, any transphobia is reported and deleted.

So report it Quaggars.

If it doesn't fit your personal definition of 'transphobic', maybe that is something that you need to address yourself, considering the degree of pressure and outside monitoring of this site.

@Whatwouldscullydo yes I agree

@Whatwouldscullydo

Wht is it we have one set of people moaning about where a thread is located.

And another set blaming children for being in a child friendly space with their mother amongst other women.

But no one is prepared to discuss the actual issue which is that a policy allows naked males to be placed amongst naked women and girls without their consent and the safguarding nightmare that presents.

Who cares what section of the board its on. Who cares if the person was trabs or not no one knows.

Safeguarding is relevant to eveeyone

yes!

Who cares if the person was trabs or not

Seeing as trans people are getting lumped in with perves and attackers at the pool, just for having the audacity of being trans, I'd say it is a pretty huge thing and probably why the whole "debate" you want is why people are not getting involved and thinking nope, not for me!

I think the Covid threads are shocking, how posters pile on if you have refused the vaccine, trying to bully and coerce you, yet these posters would be the first to shout,"your body your choice" if a partner was wanting an abortion!

Seeing as trans people are getting lumped in with perves and attackers at the pool, just for having the audacity of being trans, I'd say it is a pretty huge thing and probably why the whole "debate" you want is why people are not getting involved and thinking nope, not for me!

No Quaggars.

Do you believe that it is not a general safeguarding issue to have a naked male with a penis get into the hot tub with a six year old girl, including sitting on the edge of the spa with their legs apart so that the penis is at eye level to a girl less than a metre away?

That is what the thread was really about.

Do you find it acceptable? Or not?

Who has lumped trans people in with the pervs? I haven't seen that on this thread.

People are pointing out issues with safeguarding girl children in the open access policy of the spa. The discussion is not about trans people.

@Quaggars

Who cares if the person was trabs or not

Seeing as trans people are getting lumped in with perves and attackers at the pool, just for having the audacity of being trans, I'd say it is a pretty huge thing and probably why the whole "debate" you want is why people are not getting involved and thinking nope, not for me!

If your movement protects sex offenders the same way it protects a minority, you need a rethink about how you do things.

Most males aren't predators however they aren't allowed I to women only spaces because there's no way to determine who is safe and who isn't.

Trans identity is irrelevant to this. We can tall the notices of trans people no more or less than we can wirg everyone else.

Stop seeing safguarding as a personal.attack.its not.

We can tell the motives no more or no less.

That is what the thread was really about.

So why doesn't the thread say that then in the OP instead of being so bloody vague?
As for the question being asked on loop over and over again (is that your new "Staniland type question, been seeing these threads for long enough on here to know you (general you get one question over and over and it' doesn't matter how it's answered, it gets twisted into something you didn't even say and/or then asked again as you didn't answer it "right."
You (general you again!) must think people are too stupid to see it.

It's not really about "trans people" though it's about male bodied people no matter how they identify. Trans men are not exactly viewed as risky are they? (That's when they're even mentioned at all by TRAs)

however they identify, that should have said

@TheInebriati yes indeed.

Any sensible person would see that and agree to parameters of discussion so that adult needs are met and women and children and vulnerable people are protected. That's how we negotiate societal changes in our democracy isn't it? It used to be the clarion call of the left.

Stop derailing and making this all about transpeople Quaggars there's a board for that. Take it over there. 😡

There is no evidence the man in either spa case is trans.

@endofthelinefinally

I was 10 the first time a male flashed and chased me. I was alone at a bus stop on a quiet road, no other people around. I had never seen adult male genitalia before. I am in my 60s now and I remember the shock and fear as if it were yesterday. I struggle to express my feelings about the women? parents? on here, who are saying that we should not be allowed to discuss the recent incident and that it is transphobic to do so. That poor little girl should have been safe in an all women jacuzzi. It should have been an enjoyable experience for her. Her mother should have been able to summon assistance and the man should have been removed. Safeguarding of children should be a topic that we are allowed to talk about on the main boards of a parenting site. After all, it is acceptable to talk about bullying, domestic violence without those threads being policed and moved. This facilitating the behaviour of predatory men is one of the most worrying issues happening today, but it is a forbidden topic outside one specifically, misleadingly named area of a parenting website.

I’m so sorry to read this. It happened to me too. My dsis and I were playing in a park. I was 12 and she was 8. Thankfully dsis wasn’t at all traumatised, she thought it was hilarious, but I have never forgotten it.

There is only one sort of person that thinks it’s acceptable to flash a child, and it has nothing whatsoever to with whether they are trans. A person’s gender should have no relevance if they pose a threat and in my opinion, anyone who exposes themselves to children is a threat.

@NotBadConsidering - that's a good summary of what posters have said here.

I also second the call to go to the Sex and Gender board to post about trans issues. This discussion is about parents safeguarding children.

@Quaggars

That is what the thread was really about.

So why doesn't the thread say that then in the OP instead of being so bloody vague?
As for the question being asked on loop over and over again (is that your new "Staniland type question, been seeing these threads for long enough on here to know you (general you get one question over and over and it' doesn't matter how it's answered, it gets twisted into something you didn't even say and/or then asked again as you didn't answer it "right."
You (general you again!) must think people are too stupid to see it.

That was what the thread that was moved was about.

This thread is discussing why this cannot be discussed on AIBU.

I am asking the question 'over and over' (more hyperbole) because those complaining about seeing 'anti-trans' posts are failing to see that this is in fact a general safeguarding issue. And it is highly relevant to all parents I would have thought.

(although, maybe not to someone who thought that the woman filming in the reception was far more egregious than the naked male getting into the tub with the 9 year old girl).

I am merely attempting to bring the thread back to the discussion on whether that topic should or should not be allowed in AIBU?

You (general you again!) must think people are too stupid to see it.

I never make an assumption about people's intelligence. Although we do know from many posts from lurkers and ex-lurkers that readers certainly can see when people are engaging with the topic vs those who seek to distract, derail, and discuss everything BUT something relevant to the thread.

People on here go on so much about trans issues that quite frankly it deserves it's own section. Everyone knows where to go, the feminist board used to be brilliant but now it's just banging on about the same old stuff.

This isn't about trans issues. It is about children’s boundaries being crossed by certain people and women being scared into silence

@Quaggars

That is what the thread was really about.

So why doesn't the thread say that then in the OP instead of being so bloody vague?
As for the question being asked on loop over and over again (is that your new "Staniland type question, been seeing these threads for long enough on here to know you (general you get one question over and over and it' doesn't matter how it's answered, it gets twisted into something you didn't even say and/or then asked again as you didn't answer it "right."
You (general you again!) must think people are too stupid to see it.

Would you like to answer the question though?

I don’t want to be lectured about trans issues and I have no idea what prisons has to to with this. Make a new thread.

And I don’t think it is transphobic to discuss a flasher. Poor little girl. And why do you assume that this was a transwoman? I think that is offensive. I believe that transwomen would try to not stand out.

And why on Earth can’t we discuss perverts on AIBU? It is not helpful to transwomen if you assume that all perverts are transwomen and only can be discussed on the feminist board.