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Original poster

Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

299 replies

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:50

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

OP posts:
JeansShirtJeansJacket · 05/07/2021 12:22

@TurquoiseDragon

Burgers, not burgers 🙄
Everyone should be safeguarding against burgers. They are a bloody menace
BlackForestCake · 05/07/2021 12:37

It’s weird for a new partner staying over for the first time to be poking around in your kitchen cupboards instead of shagging you silly in your bed.

Dixiechickonhols · 05/07/2021 12:48

The shared ownership new builds all have this in their kitchen (one upper cupboard) but the private houses on new estate don’t. I assumed for medication etc.

Desiren · 05/07/2021 13:01

It's not weird at all. I'm assuming it's a newer build property a lockable kitchen cupboard is usually fitted as standard.

I wish I had one! I might then get to eat my chocolate treats

BunnyRuddington · 05/07/2021 13:04

My DM has a kitchen cupboard with a lock. It's a retirement village though and I suppose it's for medication.

Like you though, I'm not really sure why she bothers locking it when she lives alone.

Saladd0dger · 05/07/2021 13:05

All local HA properties around here that have had kitchens fitted in the last 15 yearsish also have a lockable cupboard

BunnyRuddington · 05/07/2021 13:07

I wish I had one! I might then get to eat my chocolate treats. The salad drawer is your friend Smile

billy1966 · 05/07/2021 13:13

I had a locked cupboard in a few houses, in the kitchen. Very handy for paperwork and bits.

I would be seriously unimpressed with someone wanting to open it.

Very nosey.

MzHz · 05/07/2021 13:38

Where I lived before there was a lockable cupboard in the kitchen

I just made it the medicine cabinet as that’s what I assumed it was for.

MarmiteWine · 05/07/2021 13:45

Those people locking first aid kits away in a cupboard, what happens in an emergency? I'd prefer to know my first aid kit was more accessible.

CharlieSocial · 05/07/2021 13:48

Fgs, tell us what's in it and why you are so weird about it, OP

Spidey66 · 05/07/2021 13:57

@AutumnOrange

I live in a housing association property and all the houses belonging to our housing association have 1 locked cupboard in the kitchen - supposed to be used for medication or bleaches etc I think. So not unusual for me now at all
I can see the point of that especially if there are small children around.

Or in a houseshare, or possibly if there was someone with special needs (eg someone with Prada-Willi syndrome or something) who you may want to access cupboards for whatever reason.

Otherwise it’s odd.

Spidey66 · 05/07/2021 13:58

May not want to access cupboards.

Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 14:19

@MeanderingGently

Can't understand why everyone thinks a locked cupboard is weird!! A locked cupboard is perfectly OK, it's the sort of thing I'd be putting medicines in - much safer - or else private items like sanitary wear (except that these days I'm too old to use them anyway). I might even put my diary in it if I didn't want any visitors to be prowling around reading it. But I know exactly what you mean.

The very fact that people on here think it's weird backs up your story that potential dates have not liked your cupboard. Why anyone would assess someone on whether they lock a kitchen cabinet or not shows a certain amount of shallowness on their part. Rather than worrying about it, I'd use it as some sort of test. Happy with your cupboard? Compatible. Not happy? It's not going to work. Make sure you're first in with the message : "You didn't pass the kitchen cupboard test so sorry, you're not the one for me".....

This is brilliant! Grin
OP posts:
3Britnee · 05/07/2021 14:24

What's in your cupboard op?

kindaclassy · 05/07/2021 14:25

A locked cupboard is perfectly OK, it's the sort of thing I'd be putting medicines in - much safer

when you live ALONE? Confused
Obviously a bit different if you were a childminder.

Sorry to state the obvious, but if you were being burgled, I guarantee you the thief won't be much delayed by your locked cupboard, it would be the first thing they break in Grin

It's very weird. Too much drama or possible issues for a first date, I don't think I'll be coming back.

Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 14:33

@PhillipPhillop

Can't believe posters are saying it's weird to be 'secretive' about what's in there let alone visitors who actually try the door! Is it because a kitchen is deemed fair game? A study or bedroom or bathroom locked cupboard wouldn't cause any interest surely? If you know someone has a safe do you ask what's in it?
This is how I felt about it. It’s the principle of the thing.
OP posts:
saraclara · 05/07/2021 14:52

"My locked cupboard? It was there when I bought the place. Thought I might as well use it for documents etc, instead of a locked filing cabinet."

Anyone who can't deal with that is the weird one.

Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 15:14

In answer to those who thought it weird that my partner of one year didn’t have access to the cupboard…. Well, if she’d asked about it and wanted to see it, I would have shown her, no problem. She didn’t even mention it at all the entire time and I didn’t think it was an issue between us that needed raising! We didn’t live together, and she had areas where she stored things in her home that I did not ask about, why would I Allowing people some modicum of privacy is a human right. Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t give you ownership over them.

As to what I keep in it… important paperwork, passport, certificates, statements, guarantees and warrantees, some cards notes and letters of sentimental importance, spare sets of keys, even spare buttons for nice clothing I want to keep…
And of course trophies of dastardly deeds. Grin

OP posts:
Bridezillamaybe · 05/07/2021 15:20

Well... I am slightly in the it's weird camp. The point of a lock (that you go to the effort of using) is to keep things safe from other people. You live alone so those 'other people' are guests; your friends or your girlfriend.

I think the recent date was just confused and probably gave it very little thought.

I think it was more of an issue for the ex girlfriend. Did she know you were keeping 'sentimental letters' in there?

Bridezillamaybe · 05/07/2021 15:22

But really the cupboard itself is not the problem, it's what it represented. I'm sure the ex felt you were keeping her at arm's length / not willing to move forward / merge your lives and this was demonstrated by the locked cupboard of nostalgia.

Menora · 05/07/2021 15:22

I have a lockable kitchen cupboard and it has medicine in it. I don’t lock it though but it’s not that weird

Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 15:32

I have a family member who is a snoop and likes to rifle through things and read bank statements etc, I realised I preferred that not to happen.

I also feel more comfortable when there are tradesmen around.

Saves you having to remember to put things away each time.

Also the kitchen cupboard saves me having to buy unsightly filing/storage type things, and I have limited space and would like to keep clutter to a minimum.

OP posts:
Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 15:39

@Bridezillamaybe, what is wrong with sentimental letters? Is my home supposed to be a Spartan camp with no evidence of any history of a life led? The notes and letters were intended for me only and that’s why they they are in the cupboard. There is nothing sordid or to be ashamed of in them.

My former partner had her own ideas of what privacy entailed which I fully respected. We were matched in this and it was never an issue, if anything it was something we enjoyed in each other.

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 05/07/2021 15:48

I’m clearly very weird, but mostly harmless, otherwise you wouldn’t feel free and comfortable to give me a hard time about the lock on my kitchen cupboard!.

Ha ha, true! You should install a camera to catch their reactions 😂

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