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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

299 replies

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:50

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

OP posts:
itsaccrualworld · 05/07/2021 11:14

I don't think you've explained what's actually in the cupboard?

I think it's unusual and my first reaction was a house share with a greedy housemate who couldn't be trusted. However, the explanations offered by other posters - locking away bleach (perhaps not in this case given it's an upper unit) and alcohol (from kids) seem plausible. I now want a secret cupboard myself.

As a GF, I would find it weird if I noticed a secret cupboard and you didn't offer an explanation. I mean, if you said 'Oh, that was there when I moved in, I thought it was odd too, but I just use it to it to keep random crap in now, see' and unlocked it there and then to demonstrate, I'd never give it a second thought again.

If you offered no explanation and/or you were cagey, I think I'd probably start thinking secret drug stash.

Nanny0gg · 05/07/2021 11:15

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

I can't see anything strange about a wall unit having a lock on as most people keep medicines in the kitchen.

Do they? I thought most people kept them in the bathroom cabinet. (Not arguing, just curious)

Keep mine in the kitchen.

Nearer running water (accidents, drinks for pills etc)

FictionalCharacter · 05/07/2021 11:15

It’s unusual but I wouldn’t say weird. What is weird is a date opening your kitchen cupboards and believing they have a right to have access to something that’s locked.

If you had a safe, would they think they should be given the key and allowed to poke around in it?

purplesequins · 05/07/2021 11:17

it's unusual but not weird ime
we used to have one growing up where my parents kept restricted meds.

and hmo seem to have them

Iggi999 · 05/07/2021 11:19

Useful for locking away medicines or bleach when you've young children; alcohol when you've older children; and chocolate at all times.

2021DNA · 05/07/2021 11:21

The whole post sounds weird. I don’t know how you are finding so many women that are interested in your kitchen cupboard.

CupOfTPlease · 05/07/2021 11:23

I don't think it's weird. Some people lock medicine away etc.

I have a lock on every single cupboard. I do have a toddler but a locked cupboard is not something to get worked up over.

GreyhoundG1rl · 05/07/2021 11:24

@2021DNA

The whole post sounds weird. I don’t know how you are finding so many women that are interested in your kitchen cupboard.
This 🤣🤣🤣
BarbaraofSeville · 05/07/2021 11:25

I'd find a locked kitchen cupboard really weird. What on earth does someone need to keep private in a kitchen? Bathroom –might be dangerous prescription medication. Hallway –keys etc. Living area –personal papers like insurance, finance etc. Kitchen –??????

Or they could keep the medicines, keys or papers in the locked cupboard that just happens to be in the kitchen? Many people are spending more time in their kitchen and many kitchens double up as offices and the hub of the home, so along with access to water and the normal place to store other things that may need to be locked up such as alcohol or cleaning products, why not keep these things here too?

motogogo · 05/07/2021 11:30

As for a reason to break up, is it because she found you ultra secretive? If it's got your passport etc in why secrecy? simply say if asked "it was there when I moved in, I keep my important paperwork in there for safekeeping."

Gunpowder · 05/07/2021 11:36

It’s a bit like the beginning of one of those psychological thrillers you get for free on Kindle!

I wouldn’t remark on a locked kitchen cupboard if I was going to someone’s house for the first time. but if I was dating them and they didn’t have a straightforward explanation (oh it’s where I keep the medicine/my private paperwork/passports/cash for the cleaner) I would be a bit weirded out. Particularly if they were defensive about showing me or explaining why it was locked.

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 05/07/2021 11:38

Ive got the same, I keep meds and paperwork in there. And money for the milkman etc...... Those people are weird.

CheesyWeez · 05/07/2021 11:40

If it is exactly where the cups, water glasses etc might be in your kitchen
then I would totally expect people to try to look in it.

If dating I would expect to get my own drink from the kitchen if I wanted one.

I agree most people keep their medicines and dangerous cleaning products in the kitchen so having a locked cupboard makes brilliant sense.

What do you keep in it OP?

Kokosrieksts · 05/07/2021 11:41

Very unusual, especially if you live alone. I could understand it’s purpose with small kids for storing chocolate.

Coffeemakesmehappy · 05/07/2021 11:41

@BarbaraofSeville

I'd find a locked kitchen cupboard really weird. What on earth does someone need to keep private in a kitchen? Bathroom –might be dangerous prescription medication. Hallway –keys etc. Living area –personal papers like insurance, finance etc. Kitchen –??????

Or they could keep the medicines, keys or papers in the locked cupboard that just happens to be in the kitchen? Many people are spending more time in their kitchen and many kitchens double up as offices and the hub of the home, so along with access to water and the normal place to store other things that may need to be locked up such as alcohol or cleaning products, why not keep these things here too?

I agree.
Jinnybean · 05/07/2021 11:42

We bought a new build In 2016 and have a locked cupboard in the kitchen. Im guessing it’s for medication?

Jinnybean · 05/07/2021 11:43

We don’t lock it, we keep cups and glasses in there

sempiternal · 05/07/2021 11:44

I've lived in a house with a lock on one of the kitchen cupboards, it was a new build and came as standard in the kitchens. I thought it was to be able to lock away medicines from children perhaps? Or cleaning products?

Bluntness100 · 05/07/2021 11:45

I find it a bit weird you live on your own wnd lock stuff away yes, and I’m finding it weird that even on here you don’t want to say what you keep in there. Clearly you don’t tell partners what’s in it either, so altogether I’d find it odd and worried it was something weird or dodgey.

TurquoiseDragon · 05/07/2021 11:56

It's irrelevant that the cupboard is in the kitchen. There are kitchen things like medicines I'd lock away, but if that was the only lockable cupboard in the house, I wouldn't bother buying one just to keep other items like passports safe elsewhere in the house. I'd lock my passport, etc, in this cupboard, too.

As for keeping it locked if I were the only person in the house, well an extra safeguard against burgers is useful, they don't tend to advertise when they are planning on breaking and entering, do they?

I would be in the habit of keeping the cupboard locked as the default situation.

TurquoiseDragon · 05/07/2021 11:56

Burgers, not burgers 🙄

TurquoiseDragon · 05/07/2021 11:57

I'll try again, my auto correct hates me. Burglers

GreyhoundG1rl · 05/07/2021 11:59

@TurquoiseDragon

I'll try again, my auto correct hates me. Burglers
If they'd gotten through a locked door/window already, encountering a locked cupboard won't defeat them. It would just pinpoint where the valuables are.
lillylemons · 05/07/2021 12:02

we got cupboard with a lock on in our kitchen it's meant to be the medicine cupboard but I hide my sweets in there.
actually, all the flats in our block have a cupboard in the kitchen with a lock.

Girlking · 05/07/2021 12:13

I moved into my new build house in 2016 and there is a cupboard on the wall near the sink in the kitchen with a lock on it. It was described as a medicine cupboard. It’s were I keep medication.
I don’t lock it but would do if my sons were younger.
What I find weird is why are these women who you’ve just met in your kitchen opening your cupboards? 🤔

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