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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop the online grocery orders and delivery?

146 replies

BouncyDaisy · 03/07/2021 17:58

I live at home with my mother. I have an account with one of the online groceries home delivery shops. Every week since last winter I was did online groceries for a home delivery.

We have a problem now at home. The yard is neglected and the grass is getting too long. This problem wasn't bad in the winter because the grass died from the cold over the winter. Back in April of this year I knew this was going to be an issue. I suggested to my mother that I could get a battery operated strimmer online because they are easier on the back and she dismissed the idea because I am female and she said not to be ridiculous because we already have a grass strimmer. It's a petrol one by the way. It was bought a few years ago where my brother used it to cut the grass. He still lives at home but he has some issues with drugs and he's a stoner. My mother had faith in him back in April/May of this year that he was going to cut the grass. He hasn't cut the grass and he won't do it either. My mother doesn't want to get a gardener to cut the grass or even some of the grass because I suppose she can't afford it because she's too busy allowing my brother to live free at home. She likes to pity him for being male and she subsides his share of all of the household bills. It's only recently I put in this boundary where all the bills are to go 3 ways and if she wants him to go free, she can pay for him. Before that the bills were 50/50 between me and her. My mother has narcissistic tendencies and I was paying up to maintain the peace.

The grass situation is getting ridiculous now. Its too long. I will put up a picture with a lot of the area cropped. This isn't even half of it. It's as high as the windows now. To get into the door, you need to climb through the grass where there is a small path. It's not too bad on a dry day. It's manageable but on a wet day, it's awful because the legs and shoes get wet. I'm experiencing problems now too with ticks. I went out to the bins the other evening and the next day I found a tick stuck to me. I suspect it was from climbing through the grass. I'm experiencing regular problems now with ticks. My brother is a drug addict and he spends a lot of time in his room and he doesn't have the problem of ticks because he's not battling through the grass.

I think the grass is so bad now. I don't think it's very fair for a delivery driver to battle through this grass to deliver groceries. There's also massive weeds within inches of the front door.

AIBU to stop the online grocery orders and delivery?
OP posts:
bluewanda · 03/07/2021 20:12

I don’t understand, what are the white bits with coloured dots on them in the OP’s photo? Confused

HilaryBriss · 03/07/2021 20:15

FFS, either cut the grass or move out. From this and your other posts, you clearly don't like either your mother or brother so why are you still there?

Boomisshiss · 03/07/2021 20:16

Huh if I was you I would have just cut the grass. What a drama

rwalker · 03/07/2021 20:18

Doubt a battery strimmer would be up to that. Goggle strimmer for instruction book and get on youtube.

Boomisshiss · 03/07/2021 20:19

You both sound highly dependent on your mother she sounds like she is being pulled in both directions. Maybe unless you are both teenagers move out and live your own lives. It sounds like a toxic environment.

purplecorkheart · 03/07/2021 20:24

Is there a large area to cover? If you are not fussy about a perfect lawn a pair of Shears/hedge clippers would do the job? Might be cheaper than buying an electric streamer.

Schoolchoicesucks · 03/07/2021 20:25

You've posted this before, without the new question about cancelling deliveries.

OP, is there a reason you can't move out and live independently?

Why do you need permission from your mother to buy a battery strimmer? If this is your home and you can afford to and want to buy one, just do it.

Have delivery drivers complained? If not, then no reason to stop receiving deliveries. The grass in the picture doesn't look too bad to me. If you wear trousers and tuck into socks to walk through it (attractive, I know), that should solve the issue with ticks.

Can you find a youtube video or instruction manual for the petrol strimmer? And tackle it a bit at a time - just to cut a path through?

Or find someone else to show you how to use it? Or rope in a friend to help? Or pay someone to come and cut it once, then you keep on top of it?

SengaMac · 03/07/2021 20:31

[quote SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]@BouncyDaisy - if you don’t want to rile your mum by buying a battery strimmer, why not hire a gardener for an hour and get him to teach you how to use the petrol strimmer?[/quote]
This is a great idea (her/him, of course)

TatianaBis · 03/07/2021 20:32

I’m assuming there’s some kind of special needs issues involved here.

Choice 1. Pick up the petrol strimmer and try it.
Choice 2. Buy a scythe which doesn’t need petrol/instructions etc.

JLL1990 · 03/07/2021 20:34

If I were you, I’d move out and let them fend for themselves. In the meantime, get your own groceries, lock them away if you have to, so you only have access to them.

MisterMeaner · 03/07/2021 20:36

@SecretKeeper1

Am I the only one confused by the OP photo being photoshopped/covered?

I need an explanation. Surely a mud track can’t be too outing?

Maybe the stoner brother is passed out on the driveway in the original photo.

But seriously, OP - please get onto Google and find an instruction video, then have a go with the petrol strimmer. I bet you'll surprise yourself with how well you manage it. Strim a nice wide path to the door, and leave the rest lovely and wild for the insects etc. It will be ace.

LittleOwl153 · 03/07/2021 20:41

Who pays for the shopping delivery? Are you ending up paying for more than your share OP?
If I remember correctly there were previous issues about ordering gas. You really need to find a way of moving out.

Movealongmovealong · 03/07/2021 20:42

What I don't understand is that if you want to buy your OWN electric or battery strimmer - why your mother 'dismissing the idea' would have ANY bearing on your actions. She is obviously wrong . So simply carry on with your plan and get cracking - if for no other reason than to prove her wrong.

Petrol strummers ARE heavy but depends how strong you are..

Electric and rechargeable battery ones are much lighter and easier. You just plug in and push the button and strim the grass in front of you.. it is not hard or complicated. A side to side action works for me.

If you go electric (my one) just be sure to keep the cable behind you.

Crack on.

TotorosCatBus · 03/07/2021 20:48

Google the instructions for the strimmer.
I'm a single parent and now my lawn- it's really not difficult but I understand the mental block before the first time you do it.

Aposterhasnoname · 03/07/2021 20:58

[quote SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]@BouncyDaisy - if you don’t want to rile your mum by buying a battery strimmer, why not hire a gardener for an hour and get him to teach you how to use the petrol strimmer?[/quote]
Genius. Do this.

justasmalltownmum · 03/07/2021 21:02

We have a £30/40 lawn mower and I cut the grass every 3-4 weeks. Just get the lawn mower or better yet move away.

Fluffycloudland77 · 03/07/2021 21:08

There’s more going on here than long grass @BouncyDaisy. They don’t sound terribly nice to you.

HalzTangz · 03/07/2021 21:10

Look on you tube to operate the strimmer, if it's only a walkway you are bothered about just do that thin strip between the two paths, will take 30 minutes tops

To be honest ive seen grass much longer, a hover mower would get that down in no time. You can often get deals from Argos, buy a Flymo and get a strimmer free

HeronLanyon · 03/07/2021 21:15

Agree this grass isn’t so intimidating at all. I was imagining 6 foot high (as if pampas grass bizarrely). Strimmer will see to that.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/07/2021 21:16

The grass might be a problem, but it (nor the grocery delivery) is not THE problem.

Your brother is a useless stoner parasite.

Your mother is in some sort of weirdo co-dependent relationship with him and has Victorian attitudes towards males and females and how they should be deferred to (male)/ridiculed (female).

You have lived under her regime so long that you hesitate to assert yourself and point out the common sense to her that her son is a useless stoner parasite will never cut the grass.

The only solution to THE problem is to remove yourself from this increasingly toxic dynamic. Move out. Visit monthly at most. But just - move out.

What age are you @BouncyDaisy, and how are you financially? Can you move to your own place, or will you need to rent a room in a shared household?

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 03/07/2021 21:19

If you are nervous of using the strimmer, hand trimmers might be worth considering. Not as easy or quick as a strimmer of course but just five or tens minutes a day would soon make a difference. Please remember to have a quick check for any hedgehogs nesting in your long grass too.

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