Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop the online grocery orders and delivery?

146 replies

BouncyDaisy · 03/07/2021 17:58

I live at home with my mother. I have an account with one of the online groceries home delivery shops. Every week since last winter I was did online groceries for a home delivery.

We have a problem now at home. The yard is neglected and the grass is getting too long. This problem wasn't bad in the winter because the grass died from the cold over the winter. Back in April of this year I knew this was going to be an issue. I suggested to my mother that I could get a battery operated strimmer online because they are easier on the back and she dismissed the idea because I am female and she said not to be ridiculous because we already have a grass strimmer. It's a petrol one by the way. It was bought a few years ago where my brother used it to cut the grass. He still lives at home but he has some issues with drugs and he's a stoner. My mother had faith in him back in April/May of this year that he was going to cut the grass. He hasn't cut the grass and he won't do it either. My mother doesn't want to get a gardener to cut the grass or even some of the grass because I suppose she can't afford it because she's too busy allowing my brother to live free at home. She likes to pity him for being male and she subsides his share of all of the household bills. It's only recently I put in this boundary where all the bills are to go 3 ways and if she wants him to go free, she can pay for him. Before that the bills were 50/50 between me and her. My mother has narcissistic tendencies and I was paying up to maintain the peace.

The grass situation is getting ridiculous now. Its too long. I will put up a picture with a lot of the area cropped. This isn't even half of it. It's as high as the windows now. To get into the door, you need to climb through the grass where there is a small path. It's not too bad on a dry day. It's manageable but on a wet day, it's awful because the legs and shoes get wet. I'm experiencing problems now too with ticks. I went out to the bins the other evening and the next day I found a tick stuck to me. I suspect it was from climbing through the grass. I'm experiencing regular problems now with ticks. My brother is a drug addict and he spends a lot of time in his room and he doesn't have the problem of ticks because he's not battling through the grass.

I think the grass is so bad now. I don't think it's very fair for a delivery driver to battle through this grass to deliver groceries. There's also massive weeds within inches of the front door.

AIBU to stop the online grocery orders and delivery?
OP posts:
MrsToothyBitch · 03/07/2021 18:30

Why did you ask for permission to buy yourself a strimmer solely for your sole use?

TracysMom · 03/07/2021 18:31
Confused
DreamingofGinoclock · 03/07/2021 18:32

There are a couple of things I don't understand why you haven't done:

  1. purchased the strimmer you wanted yourself and just got on with it
  2. googled/ you tubed how to use the strimmer you currently have and used that

No idea why you need someone to show you how to use it in this day and age. Google / you tube is how I figure out how to do most DIY jobs .... neither me nor my husband know how to do many of these things but I enjoy googling and finding out! I have learnt a lot since having our own home!

I think Google /you tube is a great tool to equal out knowledge of how to do traditionally "male" or "female" jobs l. If no one will show you how to do something because it's too masculine or feminine (total BS in my eyes) ...just look it up on you tube

DeRigueurMortis · 03/07/2021 18:32

@Alternista

You need to leave home.

This

SparklyLeprechaun · 03/07/2021 18:32

Nobody ever showed me how to use a bread machine, hairdryer, dishwasher, screwdriver, lawnmower, electric mixer, razor, coffee machine, power drill or any other number of things. Time to give up on life I guess.

Howshouldibehave · 03/07/2021 18:33

@MattHancocksSexTape

I’ve found that if you put a sausage or small carrot in your front jeans pocket, it fools the machinery into thinking you have a penis and alas you can use it as if you were a man. Hope that helps.
GrinYep-deffo try this, OP.
toocold54 · 03/07/2021 18:35

Are you in the UK OP?

Can you just buy a battery one or a plug in one and extension cord they are really easy to use I have used one on my own since about 18 and I just read the instructions. You can always look on YouTube too as they often have lots of videos like that.

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 03/07/2021 18:36

Just cut the grass. Go get yourself a makita strimmer and a spare battery and get on with it. Get a drill at the same time. You’ll need it because you can then move out and put up shelves and useful stuff.

Stop pandering to the lies that you need a penis to operate machinery.

georgarina · 03/07/2021 18:36

Seems like you're allowing your resentment toward your mum and brother to hurt you in order to prove that they're being unreasonable. But they're never going to get it.

So she expects him to cut the grass and he won't do it and won't show you how to cut the grass. Yes you can accept that you're not 'allowed' to learn how it cut it yourself in order to prove a point that won't register with them and will only hurt you. Or you can get on with it, look up the make of the strimmer and watch an instructional video or just buy a lawnmower. Take control of your own life and stop allowing yourself to be dragged down by their dynamic (easier said than done, I know).

SengaMac · 03/07/2021 18:40

If you want to buy a battery strimmer then do that.
If you don't want to be responsible for the grass, tell your mother you'll be getting your own shopping and she can order online, or do whatever she likes.

strawberry2017 · 03/07/2021 18:41

Just cut the grass
Cancel the food shop
Move out.
Leave them both to it.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/07/2021 18:41

Buy a batte one on Amazon and cut the grass.

Move out.

Two sensible suggestions.

Letting the grass grow taller but cancelling any type of delivery or post, less sensible

AddressLabel · 03/07/2021 18:41

Seriously you need to get a grip. I’m sorry if I’m being harsh but playing the wee little incompetent woman role is pathetic. This is such a non issue. I presume you are capable of independent thought? Figure out how to use the strimmer yourself or buy the battery operated one. As an independent self sufficient woman capable of performing various DIY tasks to the same standard as a man, I find your situation baffling. I’ve used a petrol strimmer and it’s not that difficult and I didn’t need a man to show me how to work it.

unim · 03/07/2021 18:42

Move out!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/07/2021 18:43

@BouncyDaisy

Nobody showed me how to use the strimmer before. I don't know how to operate the strimmer. I know there is a fuel tank to the back of the strimmer and a line feed to the front of the strimmer but I don't know how to operate it. I asked to be showed so many times but he won't show me.

I wanted to buy my own strimmer but a battery operated one so that I can learn from the instructions and also it would be lighter on the back. My mother dismissed that idea and placed faith that my brother will cut the grass.

You don’t NEED your mum’s permission to buy a battery strummer, @BouncyDaisy - just do it.
Redglitter · 03/07/2021 18:43

I wanted to buy a battery operated one and cut the grass before it got too long. I felt it would have been more manageable before it got too long. My mother dismissed me

Why do you need her permission to buy something. If you want to buy one then buy one

Susannahmoody · 03/07/2021 18:44

Time to try van life I'd say

Dullardmullard · 03/07/2021 18:44

If it’s tall your battery operated one won’t work. Cut the grass with the petrol one. YouTube will show you it’s how I learnt

viques · 03/07/2021 18:48

You are nearly 40 Daisy, it’s time to start taking control of your own life, and taking responsibility for it too. If you don’t do something soon you will eventually be nearly 50, then nearly 60 and still unhappy and blaming other people.

McCanne · 03/07/2021 18:48

Your domestic setup sounds a bit unhealthy, are you ok?

Remoulade · 03/07/2021 18:49

I really don't understand. Just buy the battery operated one! We have one and it's super light. I can use it easily and I'm just over 5 ft tall! Just keep it away from your legs/feet and you will be fine.

Blinkingheckythump · 03/07/2021 18:49

@BouncyDaisy

Nobody showed me how to use the strimmer before. I don't know how to operate the strimmer. I know there is a fuel tank to the back of the strimmer and a line feed to the front of the strimmer but I don't know how to operate it. I asked to be showed so many times but he won't show me.

I wanted to buy my own strimmer but a battery operated one so that I can learn from the instructions and also it would be lighter on the back. My mother dismissed that idea and placed faith that my brother will cut the grass.

Omg stop repeating yourself. Either Google how to use the strimmer, buy the kind you want or pay someone to do it for you and stop making this into a much bigger issue than it is! Oh and move out!
NumberTheory · 03/07/2021 18:53

This is an absurd response to the grass being too long. I suspect you probably realise that but see an opportunity to use it as a way to further separate your life from your mum’s and brother’s by using it as an excuse to just do your own shopping and leave them to sort themselves out? But you will still be walking through wet grass and getting ticks on you and now you’ll have to do it while carrying your groceries after a dull ride on the bus too. I would find a way to get the grass cut -for you- at least temporarily and then do the shopping the way you want to but the bigger issue is…

I really think you need to take a step back - this isn’t the life you want to lead is it? Either picking up all the pieces around your narcissistic mum and stoner brother so your home life is good, or engaging in petty battles and convoluted work around so they have to pick up their own shit. Both are bad ways to live.

Start looking for a good living arrangement away from people who won’t reciprocate. The longer you live with people who treat you badly the harder it will be to fit in to a good living situation. Prioritise this, not ways to pay your mum and brother back.

mpsw · 03/07/2021 18:55

Sod all that for a game of soldiers

Just get a scythe

Confusedandshaken · 03/07/2021 18:56

If your brothers dealers can get through I am sure the grocery men can get through too.

Carry on with the grocery order and buy a strimmer.