To ban DH from taking kids out

[fat13]

Because it messes naps up.

Naps at 6 and 7 o clock in the evening meaning kids up until 10 and up half the night and I’m shattered.

He doesn’t mean any harm just doesn’t understand how it impacts on me.

@fat13

It’s more of an 8 bedtime here but I do think I’ve explained what’s happening pretty clearly, tbh, and I’m not sure the same post over and over is particularly conducive.

I’m with the kids all day, dh finishes work (from home) about 6, he wants to give me a break and get out of the house himself, he takes kids, lovely, except they fall asleep.

If he's working from home then he can take them out earlier, just take a break earlier in the day and take them then. That's the brilliant part of working at home - you can take an hour or so in the middle of the day to do whatever you want and just work a little later to make up the hours. Even if he works for a super strict employer he's still entitled to a lunch break!

DocsOddSocks
@DrSbaitso but at least he's actually spending time with his kids. smile

Is he? Sounds to me like he’s doing the absolute minimum effort of pushing them around in a pram/ driving them around for an hour and then leaving his wife to sort everything else out.

Why are dads supposed to get a pat on the back for the absolute minimum amount of effort by some posters?

OP, do you live near a pub?

Honestly, my first thought was that he's taking the kids out to "bond" while he has a swift one in the local. Maybe I'm just a massive cynic...

He can take them out in a way that doesn't send them to sleep eg a walk, a play in the garden, a quick cycle to the park with them on the back of the bike. Anything that keeps them awake. Have you asked him to do this or told him how it makes you feel like you're not getting any evening for yourself if he does something that enables them to sleep at the wrong time? (And for most kids, a nap close to bedtime is definitely the wrong time!).

I'd also be going out for a walk in the evening or to see friends or whatever and leaving him to deal with the monsters he created!

If I'd known that men aren't woken in the night by kids crying, I'd've made the effort not to do it. I woke up if they so much as murmured in their sleep.

I guess I must not be a proper man. Well, that or the idea's just nonsense.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

DocsOddSocks *@DrSbaitso* but at least he's actually spending time with his kids. smile

Is he? Sounds to me like he’s doing the absolute minimum effort of pushing them around in a pram/ driving them around for an hour and then leaving his wife to sort everything else out.

Why are dads supposed to get a pat on the back for the absolute minimum amount of effort by some posters?

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken after a day at work? Earning money to pay the bills etc?

Id hardly call it the absolute minimum. My husband works full time - aswell as doing half of the house work - and I'm very much grateful for anytime he takes either the baby or dog out so I can have some peace. He's a fantastic Dad and it sounds like OPs husband is too.

That would annoy me tbh.

Could he take them into the garden if you have one?

Or would they be able to walk instead of being in the pram?

@DocsOddSocks
He sounds like a great dad because he pushes a pram around for an hour a day before leaving his wife to do all the bedtime routine and and nighttime wakings he’s created?

Nah

If you swapped the sexes, I think the attitude would be so different.

Imagine it’s a SAHD and the working mum took the kids out at bedtime for an hour (letting them nap), then came home and relinquished all responsibilities back to the husband. The husband then struggled for hours to get the kids to bed and was woken multiple times in the night while the wife slept soundly.

It would be seen as such poor parenting and support of it was a mum going this.

I’m bored of the whole “I’m grateful whenever he helps out with his own kids” attitude.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken Why wouldn't I be grateful my husband helps with the kids? He's grateful to me when I do?