To think most women want to get married?

[RosieGuacamosie]

Idle and inconsequential conversation with a female (very feminist if that’s relevant) friend where I said that I think most women want to get married (especially when children are involved), be it for financial/romantic/other reasons.

She disagrees and pointed out 45% of babies are born outside marriage these days and that women are just as likely to be the high earner and are therefore disincentivized to marry. Also pointed out that the majority of the population have limited assets, so even if there’s as divorce as opposed to a separation, the wife still ends up with the square root of fuck all.

No axe to grind as I am neither married nor have children

Yabu - most women aren’t bothered
Yanbu - the majority of women still want to marry

I am married but getting married was never a big deal to me.

I was with my husband for 10 years before he proposed.....we had completely shared finances for most of those 10 years, bought a house together, travelled the world together, most of our friends were mutual friends, his family were family to me and likewise mine to him and had completely intertwined lives.

I don't think marriage has changed anything because we were already completely committed and secure in our relationship. Great party though.

[quote mag2305]@therocinante I know what you mean. Love is love that you feel for someone whether you're married or not. I just haven't seen many comments on love being
a reason for marriage in this thread and I guess that surprised me.

With the religious aspect of marriage, it depends what your beliefs are. I can only say, personally, that was a very important part of it for me. However, we had our son before getting married and didn't marry because we had a child.

I don't really care about the legal side of marriage at all. I don't have or will ever take my dh's surname. For me, that's just a totally out of date formality. Money and security were never part of it for us but I do understand that this is the case for some people. We saw marriage as a commitment of love to each other and all the vows that were taken as part of it. And I guess that was at the core of why we did it.[/quote]
That's fair (and lovely!). It obviously varies depending on your background and views, of course. I think what I mean is that people should be aware of the legal implications of being married/not married and how that'll impact their life as well as the love.

I was happy not to be married but DH's family is complicated & hard work and there were various financial and health reasons it was important to us to be married, and I didn't take his name. If we'd had the option to have a civil partnership at the time we'd have done that instead. Having said that, on our wedding day I did really enjoy the feeling of publically representing how we felt about each other, I was surprised by how emotional I was!

I have never wanted to get married! I have two children and have been with their dad (my dp) for 20 years, not once have I ever had any desire to get married ever!

@RobynNora

Civil partnership all the way here. Marriage certificates only allowed space for the couples’ fathers’ name until last month (no mothers!) Sexist institution, I reckon.

Me too as my personal option. But I've no interest in having children and have bern with my partner for almost 17 years.

I do think though if you're having children and it will have any impact on your career (which let's face it, it probably will.) Then the protection of marriage is important and what most women want.

Unfortunately it's not true that the woman is just as likely to be the higher earner, for several reasons. I also think lots of women don't realise the difference being married makes for legal purposes if the split.