£15 per pupil for teacher present is way too much!

[Watermelon221]

We’ll just that really.

Quite prepared to be told Iabu and also I know that I don’t have to join in with the collection!

But £15 x 30 children is over £400! Even if only 20 give money it is £300!

What sort of planet are some parents on? It’s the same every year and I shouldn’t be surprised after 3 children!

Someone on the class WhatsApp group suggests a collection. Everyone agrees it’s a good idea (me included). Then some bright spark suggests everyone gives £15 (£20 was mentioned initially!). Then everyone says they’ve transferred it over and you are suddenly stuck with 3 choices:

1. Opt out and buy own present. Probably something the teacher doesn’t want or need.

1. Text and say I’m only transferring £5. (Not because I can’t afford it but because it’s plenty and only supposed to be a token gesture! But then is that fair on others who pay £15?

1. Suck it up and pay it!

Our school is in a fairly middle class area but attracts children from a fairly mixed bag of different areas. I imagine many will struggle to afford this- especially those with other kids in different year groups- is it me or is it totally tone deaf of these parents to suggest this and not just pay what you can afford? It is supposed to be a kind gesture of thanks from the class not enough to find a mini break ffs!!

&then the organiser totals up the amount and chooses a gift accordingly.

I'd rather vouchers frankly. I wouldn't want my money to go onto some expensive tat that will be of no help or interest to the poor teacher.

I would hope the collector is not providing a public tally, as it's no one else's business what people can afford.

in most online pools, you can see the total and the donation if people don't keep them anonymous. Highly recommended so no one is accused of "stealing" from the pot.

“£400+ is preposterous

Why? Are people so jealous and bitter than they resent a gift to the person who was dealing with their kids all year?”

I think it’s more to do with the fact that some people won’t be able to afford £15, and it might make them feel guilty. And do the parents know the teacher well enough to be able to spend £400 on a present for them and get them something that they want/need?

Why? Are people so jealous and bitter than they resent a gift to the person who was dealing with their kids all year?”
Well they aren’t doing it for free!

Thankfully, I've never been asked to do this. I'm not sure if other people do it but don't ask me, or it just doesn't happen.

Some years I send in a box of chocolates, some years I don't remember or the kids hate the teacher, so don't want to take anything in. I think it has all become too fraught and (in some cases) competitive. Give a gift, or don't. It doesn't matter. It certainly doesn't matter what other people give, what they think of your gift, or if you choose to give jointly or separately. Giving a (completely optional) gift is supposed to be a nice, happy thing. If it becomes about competing or conforming, then it might be time to stop.

The good news is that this is only really a primary school problem. So many things become less stressful when they move up to secondary.

I would respond to the group and say different people have different budgets so why not leave the amount

Leave the amount open that should say.

God this is mental- I'm on another thread about this too- I cannot imagine what schools let their staff accept gifts of this level. Also think of the kids whose parents can't do it- they'd sit there feeling awful.
The school should step in here- I know mine would

@Lipsandlashes

Why? Are people so jealous and bitter than they resent a gift to the person who was dealing with their kids all year?” Well they aren’t doing it for free!

so?

My hairdresser is not doing my hair for free either, I am still allowed to give something at Christmas aren't I?

What is wrong with a gift? Apart from jealousy because you don't get one?

@Lipsandlashes

Why? Are people so jealous and bitter than they resent a gift to the person who was dealing with their kids all year?” Well they aren’t doing it for free!

They are also not particularly well paid and schools are generally underfunded, none of which make for a happy working environment. I fail to see any jealousy or bitterness, £15 is a lot for some people, especially those with two or three children and I doubt teachers expect £400 to be spent on them.

I hate it.

Not to mention the parent who insists on doing it every year refuses to buy vouchers, doesn't listen to when you say 'perhaps you shouldn't buy that particular item' (when you are close friends with one of the people she is buying for) and you know she's getting everything on a special offer but keeping the other half of the offer for herself!

I now boycott it and get / make something else on principle.

Yes these parents are on another planet.

I fail to see any jealousy or bitterness, £15 is a lot for some people, especially those with two or three children and I doubt teachers expect £400 to be spent on them.

I don't agree with demanding a set amount, but the outrage over a total amount is ridiculous. Other parents can give whatever they want, what's so wrong about that?

@TheMarzipanDildo

“£400+ is preposterous

Why? Are people so jealous and bitter than they resent a gift to the person who was dealing with their kids all year?”

I think it’s more to do with the fact that some people won’t be able to afford £15, and it might make them feel guilty. And do the parents know the teacher well enough to be able to spend £400 on a present for them and get them something that they want/need?

In my kids school, the organisers tend to ask the colleagues and get vouchers from a favourite shop or brand, or stick with very generic ones, like John Lewis which can be used for anything, food included.

No unwanted tat for the teachers, I like the concept.

I never felt the need to join in with any group gifts for teachers and no one should be under any pressure (imagined or real) to feel they should.

Just say no and do your own thing.

Personally, I think the whole idea of ‘gifts for the teacher’ is crazy!!
A lovely card with a personal message detailing something that the pupil has had extra help with etc., should suffice.

@sotiredofthislonelylife

Personally, I think the whole idea of ‘gifts for the teacher’ is crazy!! A lovely card with a personal message detailing something that the pupil has had extra help with etc., should suffice.

You'd bring wine or flowers to a friend for a simple diner, many people give a thank you gift to hairdresser or cleaner, or nanny!

I can't see what is so crazy about a thank you gesture to the person who had your kids every day for the entire school year.

It shouldn't be mandatory, even suggestions of amount are unecessary.

I don't think it's a lot given that a lot of parents will donate less or not donate at all, and it will split between the teacher and TAs.

I did a collection at my kids' school and no amount was specified. Most gave £10, a few more, a few less, and many gave nothing. Total was only £30 per teacher/TA, as there were so many TAs who helped with the class.

If can afford it, I would give the £15.

Bloody hell!

Our donation was €1!

At work we have collections for colleagues birthdays etc. I was in charge of a recent one and I didn’t stipulate the amount people had to give. Some gave £5 one person gave £20 but the majority gave £10 but this was someone’s 50th birthday and 11 colleagues who have worked together for more than 5 years At least the £20 person had worked with them for 10 years.

My favourite teacher gift was a hand made sock puppet that was supposed to be me, complete with wool hair and drawn-on glasses. I still have it 15 years later.

If I had children at school I would definitely not be buying a gift. I'd be more likely to wait until the beginning of the next term and then take in two tins of biscuits or sweets, one for the staffroom, and one for the ancillary staff like cleaners.

Surely a fiver each is plenty! A good gift for around 150 quid is fine .I think many Teachers would not expect a gift of such magnitude!

ds went to a primary school that was so up it’s own arse it was unreal.

The class rep would collect £20 from each family.

Those who didn’t contribute, the children’s names would be left off the card and those children were excluded from the gift giving.

Absolute bellends.

They were the same with year 6 leavers hoodies. The children who didn’t buy one didn’t have their names listed on them with their other classmates. Just horrible.

I do think it’s crazy but our class has 2 class teachers and at least 2 maybe 3 TAs. So a bit more reasonable. But the idea is to make picture books for them, no way will that cost £300ish. So champagne/vouchers on top of that. Seems very generous!