£15 per pupil for teacher present is way too much!

[Watermelon221]

We’ll just that really.

Quite prepared to be told Iabu and also I know that I don’t have to join in with the collection!

But £15 x 30 children is over £400! Even if only 20 give money it is £300!

What sort of planet are some parents on? It’s the same every year and I shouldn’t be surprised after 3 children!

Someone on the class WhatsApp group suggests a collection. Everyone agrees it’s a good idea (me included). Then some bright spark suggests everyone gives £15 (£20 was mentioned initially!). Then everyone says they’ve transferred it over and you are suddenly stuck with 3 choices:

1. Opt out and buy own present. Probably something the teacher doesn’t want or need.

1. Text and say I’m only transferring £5. (Not because I can’t afford it but because it’s plenty and only supposed to be a token gesture! But then is that fair on others who pay £15?

1. Suck it up and pay it!

Our school is in a fairly middle class area but attracts children from a fairly mixed bag of different areas. I imagine many will struggle to afford this- especially those with other kids in different year groups- is it me or is it totally tone deaf of these parents to suggest this and not just pay what you can afford? It is supposed to be a kind gesture of thanks from the class not enough to find a mini break ffs!!

The suggested donation for our collection was £40!!!! A lot of people gave it too. private school but even so.

I think you're right OP and it is tone deaf. I've spoken out on a What's App class group staying it shouldn't be proscriptive. I work, only have 2 children and can afford it, but I knew there were others on the group on FSM or from bigger families who couldn't. Someone actually complained to our school about it and now they have put in a £10 limit for teacher gifts which seems sensible.

I suspect these parents who are suggesting £15 plus either only have one child or (as usual) see these sort of discussions as an opportunity for a stealth brag. Why can't you just give what you want to? Why a minimum limit?

I have 3 children at the school and we give less at Christmas...probably a tenner and we get them a big hamper. There are only about 10 kids per class though and they are great.
Everyone can afford different amounts though and everyone has a different opinion on how good they think the teachers are, so they should just give the amount they think is appropriate really

Hmm, I see what your saying OP but it is completely optional.

I’ve just paid £15 towards my kids teacher & 2x TA presents and I actually think that’s pretty good value for money. We always do group gifts at my kids school (it’s totally voluntary but most kids join in).

I bought a gift for my kids bubble teacher (during lockdown, I’m a key worker). By the time it’d bought the wrapping, card & present, I’d spent about £25! So to me £5 per staff member is a bargain!

Just get something from your child if you don’t want to join in the group present. Honestly there was a mum who raised exactly the same issues as you over the group present and she just looked like a dick. Those parents who don’t want to join in just said they didn’t want to contribute and we’re happy to leave the rest of us to it. Do your own thing if that’s how you feel 🤷🏻‍♀️

As a primary school teacher, the present I hope to get at Christmas or summer is a box of maltesers!! If someone gets me one of the larger boxes, I feel really spoilt

Ours has started the collection, it's been mentioned we all contribute £10 each, it will be gifts for the teacher and assistant. I then went to check how much so far collected and to my horror many have put £15-20, so now I feel terrible putting in a tenner. Not a single person has put in just £10. I don't mind doing £10, works out cheaper, as if I was to buy separately for both teacher and assistant, it would cost a lot more.
Just to add a month or so ago, we all pooled in and got flowers, chocolates, candles for both teacher, as one of the teacher got upset whilst teaching the clas and a parent suggested we send flowers to show we appreciate them. I thought it was pointless as it'll be obvious everyone was speaking of her and also it's nearly end of year so why not wait. Everyone jumped at it, so I also ended up sending a tenner for that.
I also have to buy for my other child's class that doesn't seem to have a collection going on.

£400+ is preposterous

Why? Are people so jealous and bitter than they resent a gift to the person who was dealing with their kids all year?

I don't agree that you should give anything you don't want to give, or that there should be any suggestion of amount, but why is that bothering you if someone receive a larger gift?

WHY should there be a limit? Are you afraid the teacher will influence their colleague next year so the child will benefit somehow? Is that likely?
Are you afraid the child will be given higher marks in the future or something?

What I find preposterous is that in a job where most teachers pay for supplies from their own pocket, have to pay for their own Christmas parties etc.., someone can resent and try to stop others from giving whatever they want to give.

That's way too much. I've just had to cough up £10, but that's £5 for the teacher and £5 for the TA. Does piss me off a bit because the person organising it walks around with a spreadsheet and ticks it off when you pay, in front of all the other parents at home time. It would be really embarrassing to say no in front of everyone. I think it's wrong and you should only give what you can afford, if you really want to give anything at all.

Just ignore the message.

Write a card if you must.

Ours is whatever you can afford but suggestion of £2. I've had years where I've transferred 50p, but the collecting mum knows me and my situation so has never said anything.

£15 would be way too much for me, and I'd opt out for that reason. We're also a very middle class with mixed bag area.

I imagine the teacher knows the type of parents who do/organize such ridiculousness and passive aggressively bully the quieter, often timid parents into contributing and I don't think they'll delight at such a hugely extravagant gift or hefty voucher that people feel they have had to pay towards.

I would buy a small token gift myself. Even if it's a box of chocolates at least a bit of thought has gone into it from the parent or child. Not just something the Queen Bee of the parents has chosen.

Ridiculous, everything can get out of hand if people make suggestions, and arrange these kind of things.. if you are that way inclined about gifting teachers, a little token item from a child would suffice,to their favourite teacher.

Hmmm, our bar just got set to £30 first time ever I might bow out. It’s not expected that everyone gives that much but it will take guts for the first person to give £10 or £15 after a succession of £30’s.

I am always puzzled by this constant need to keep up with the Joneses.

Who cares if everyone else gave £50? If you had decided to give £10 or £15, why on earth would you feel obliged to give more? Do you feel you have something to prove?

@Skyeheather

If people are just transferring money into a bank account why can't everyone transfer what they want by a certain date, then the organiser totals up the amount and chooses a gift accordingly. There's no need for everyone to pay the same amount. They'll be some parents that can easily afford £20.00 and some who can only spare £2.00.

This absolutely. We are doing this. I did a collection last year and asked for £3. This year we are asking for a donation of your choice. I gave £10, but I t others have given, there's people who will give £3/ £5 like last time. This will cover 3 members of staff.

Someone has just arranged one for my child's reception class but it's £10 per parent and there are 3-4 teachers they buy for as it's a 2 form class (but use the same classroom if that makes sense?) and then they also have teaching assistants - I think that's pretty reasonable

Our collection is £10 which covers 2 teachers and a TA.
I wouldn't be able to buy 3 decent gifts for a tenner.
It doesn't actually matter what the overall collection is, only what I am paying towards it. I'm just happy someone else is organising it.

That is a lot of money. It used to be the norm that individual pupils (their parents) would buy a small gift and a card for their teacher at the end of term and I think that is the best way.

You will not be the only one who thinks £15 is a lot.

Actually I lie. Our collection is £5...bargain!

It is ridiculous for them to expect everyone to put in that much!!
We have a money pool and the parents put in what they can afford.

@DrinkFeckArseGirls

Hmmm, our bar just got set to £30 first time ever I might bow out. It’s not expected that everyone gives that much but it will take guts for the first person to give £10 or £15 after a succession of £30’s.

How do you know what others have given?

I would hope the collector is not providing a public tally, as it's no one else's business what people can afford.

Absolutely ridiculous. I’m pissed off that ours seems to have gone up from £5 to £7 this year. A fiver is enough for a decent amount in a class of 30. I work in the public sector and manage the gifts and hospitality register - no way would the amount given to teachers every Christmas and summer be acceptable in my industry. That’s a whole other argument though.

In our ‘naice’ middle class area the suggestion is £5 per pupil to be shared between the two teachers and one TA.

We give £20 for each class which is usually for a teacher and two TA's. I don't think it's a huge amount considering what they do for our children, and until very recently we were on one very low wage. I don't know if everyone gives the same, I've never asked because it doesn't matter to me.