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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

£15 per pupil for teacher present is way too much!

202 replies

Watermelon221 · 02/07/2021 12:59

We’ll just that really.

Quite prepared to be told Iabu and also I know that I don’t have to join in with the collection!

But £15 x 30 children is over £400! Even if only 20 give money it is £300!

What sort of planet are some parents on? It’s the same every year and I shouldn’t be surprised after 3 children!

Someone on the class WhatsApp group suggests a collection. Everyone agrees it’s a good idea (me included). Then some bright spark suggests everyone gives £15 (£20 was mentioned initially!). Then everyone says they’ve transferred it over and you are suddenly stuck with 3 choices:

  1. Opt out and buy own present. Probably something the teacher doesn’t want or need.
  1. Text and say I’m only transferring £5. (Not because I can’t afford it but because it’s plenty and only supposed to be a token gesture! But then is that fair on others who pay £15?
  1. Suck it up and pay it!

Our school is in a fairly middle class area but attracts children from a fairly mixed bag of different areas. I imagine many will struggle to afford this- especially those with other kids in different year groups- is it me or is it totally tone deaf of these parents to suggest this and not just pay what you can afford? It is supposed to be a kind gesture of thanks from the class not enough to find a mini break ffs!!

OP posts:
princesslarmadrama · 02/07/2021 13:01

I always just buy my own. I have 6 teachers and assistants to buy for this year!

alibongo5 · 02/07/2021 13:01

I think I 'd be tempted to reply just what you've said here "I think a fiver is plenty - it's only meant to be a gesture of thanks".

yepitsmey · 02/07/2021 13:07

I am a teacher and presents are absolutely not expected whatsoever! Particularly ones costing £15 per parent 🤦‍♀️.

When I have received a gift, my favourite has been from a collection of any parent who wanted to donate (and plenty don't, so please don't worry) £1 and it gets turned into an Amazon voucher. Very practical and handy.

Skyeheather · 02/07/2021 13:07

If people are just transferring money into a bank account why can't everyone transfer what they want by a certain date, then the organiser totals up the amount and chooses a gift accordingly. There's no need for everyone to pay the same amount. They'll be some parents that can easily afford £20.00 and some who can only spare £2.00.

Palavah · 02/07/2021 13:08
  1. Or just get your child to make/sign a card.

Ref:every other thread about teacher gifts

tallduckandhandsome · 02/07/2021 13:11

That's insane.

sempiternal · 02/07/2021 13:12

£15?! I fully appreciate everything my DD's fantastic teacher has done this year, but I wouldn't be contributing £15 to a collection! (Thankfully it's never been suggested.)

I think the fairest way is for people to contribute what they can afford/ want to spend.

I guess for some, it's worth paying more than they'd like for the convenience of not having to sort their own gift.

seensome · 02/07/2021 13:13

Opt out, £15 is too much

Youdiditanyway · 02/07/2021 13:14

I have 3 DC in school so if all asked for £15 I’d be £45 out of pocket, there’s no way I could or would do this every year. I usually buy a token gift like a nice house plant or box of chocolates. Always well received, never anything tacky. I’d opt out of this personally, it’ll be expected every year if not.

KatherineOfGaunt · 02/07/2021 13:15

One of my favourite and most memorable gifts as a teacher came from the pound shop and only lasted a week or two.

No teacher needs £400. (Plus, at many state schools you wouldn't be allowed to accept gifts of that much anyway.)

giggly · 02/07/2021 13:17

There’s was a thread last year or the year before where the teacher was given enough money to buy a pair of Jimmy Choos. I though that was insane but was shit down by the mummies who told me that was the going rate in their schoolsHmm
Teachers need to make a stand and say no but hen again I was shit down by some teachers on here who were happy to tell me how hard they worked and were happy to take £400 vouchers.
Completely missing the point of the other millions of hard working people out there.

Notaroadrunner · 02/07/2021 13:17

I have never been in a situation where a group gift was suggested. I wouldnt bother with it. I didn't buy gifts at all in recent years - just sent a thank you card or email to the teacher. As they get paid to do their job there really is no need to buy gifts for them.

giggly · 02/07/2021 13:18

Not “shit” down but that’s probably more accurate Grin

AppleKatie · 02/07/2021 13:19

Opt out and get your child to make a card (you write something heartfelt in it) and then stick a £5 Costa voucher in it. Guarantee the teacher will understand why you’ve done it and be grateful 😂

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 02/07/2021 13:20

Unless it's a private school there will clearly be people who can't comfortably afford £15 so it's a ridiculous, insensitive amount to choose. If that's too much for you don't feel pressured (literally no teacher I know would want any parent to spend money on them they weren't comfortable with). Then either buy a token gesture gift with a lovely card or buy a £5 voucher from the same place as the class collection. The teacher can gather the vouchers and buy themsleves a treat.

Bobbybobbins · 02/07/2021 13:21

That is insane. My favourite presents are handwritten cards.

tinyem77 · 02/07/2021 13:22

I bought 25 pritt sticks and 30 board markers this year, hope the teacher wasn't expecting Jimmy Choo shoes 🤣

AppleKatie · 02/07/2021 13:22

Although speaking as a teacher I’ve never received a £400 gift Shock but if I happened to be so lucky I’m not sure I’d really turn it down 😂 (although i would have to declare it under the bribery act)

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 02/07/2021 13:22

I'm not a teacher but do some volunteer work with kids and often get gifts. I genuinely do appreciate a nice card with a genuine message in more than a gift, I'd be mortified to get an expensive gift from someone who would then have to go without family spending money as a result.

NanooCov · 02/07/2021 13:23

That's mental. My DS is in a class of 30 pupils with 1x teacher and 2 x assistants. We each put £5 in and get each of them a £50 gift voucher (and a nice card).

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/07/2021 13:23

any of those options are fine.

this is one situation when nobody is unreasonable regardless of what they choose.

with 7 kids we usually give what the average is (it ranges from £5 -£20) because we can afford it.
occasionally we have forgotten to donate🤷‍♀️

this year we have/had lots of extras.
DD's teacher left a month earlier (we are all heartbroken, parents possibly more than kids as we wanted him to teach our younger ones too😭😭😭)
so we had a special collection of £20 each and DD wanted to give him a personal present too.

Also we are leaving our infant school after 16 years (13 days to go) so we are giving headteacher a personal gift and will do some things for office staff & dinner ladies too. probably in the region on £200-£300 in total. don't care. love the school, love the people and we want to know we appreciated them a lot.

I have absolutely zero clue what anyone else is doing. I don't care. it's their business not mine

Dutchesss · 02/07/2021 13:23

We've just done £15 but that will cover a teacher and two assistants so £5 each. Saves me the hassle of buying them each something so I'm happy. Also about 25% of the parents opt out and get a personal gift so there's no pressure to join.

modgepodge · 02/07/2021 13:24

That is mad. I work in a private school where parents do this and buy a John lewis gift card and flowers/wine/chocs with what is collected. I think I got £50 plus a present at Christmas (which I think is very kind and generous) - there are 15 in my class. I suspect the TA probably got the same, but even so, that amounts to less than £10 per parent. £15 for a single teacher is a huge amount, particularly if some parents are likely to find it a struggle.

Mountainpika · 02/07/2021 13:27

Why not make a donation to a charity the teacher supports?
Or something like the charity based in Somerset that, for £20 sends a bag of school essentials to children in nearly 50 countries to help them with a much needed education.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 02/07/2021 13:28

In ours we give £30! It’s a lot but not much for once a year I guess