does this sound like a rubbish wedding?

[weddingquestion12]

name change as probably outing.

i’m wanting to get married next year but our budget is pretty low. tbh even if our budget wasn’t low i can’t see us being the big fancy wedding type as we’re both a bit awkward in settings like that.

we’ve agreed on ceremony at the registry office - 50 guests allowed (hopefully). followed by hiring out a bar and just having a sort of evening party with a buffet.

a relative has said it’s your wedding day you should be doing something nicer than that. are they right?

YANBU. It’s the kind of wedding I would have hated (we had the big white church wedding) and when I’ve attended similar I’ve definitely felt a lack of wedding vibe.

But it’s your wedding, do what makes you happy 🤷‍♀️

Sounds lovely. If that is what you want then it will be perfect.

This is exactly the wedding I’ll be having at some point. Enjoy!

You should have the kind of wedding you and DP want to have and sod your relatives. I know people who have had far more modest weddings.

Sounds lovely to me. Don't invite the relative.

We did exactly that & carried on the party afterwards at our house, with a few traditional things thrown in from old style weddings where we grew up.

Tons of friends have said it's the best wedding they'd ever been to. Only one complained, but she's an overly opinionated type & figured as I had money at the time it should be spent on giving them a luxury day out. She actually said that 😂 bollox to that, it was our wedding & we were chuffed to bits that we managed to keep the spend under £1000 for everything & it was such a chilled & lovely day

If your "relative" thinks you need to do something they deem "better", are they offering to pay for it?

That sounds just like my wedding.

We had a registry office. Buffet at MIL house with about twenty guests. Rented a hall for the evening and had a large buffet and it went down really well.

Pretty good wedding according to everyone invited

& a traditional wedding actually is exactly as you describe, with occasional small church service for some. The overly flashy expensive weddings rarely happened when I was young, unless you were absolutely loaded & then it became a status thing.

It sounds perfect and a huge wedding would be my idea of hell, personally.

Do what makes you happy, rather than worrying about the opinions of some random with no dog in the fight whatsoever.

Sounds absolutely fine to me, as long as the 50 are people you actually want to come.

I think relatives can sometimes project their own ideas of what’d be a nice wedding, on to someone else. Ages ago now Dh and I had reg office, 60 guests and a marquee in my folks’ garden, with a casual buffet.

My DM told me beforehand that I’d always regret not having a ‘proper’ wedding, in church with a white dress.
But that was because she’d married at the beginning of WW2 when she wore a suit because she couldn’t get a white dress, and had felt for for ever more that she’d missed out.

She did admit later that our wedding was brilliant, though.

Uninvite the relative that's already complaining it's not up to his/her lavish standards - unless they are offering to pay for it all.

I think the budget would benefit from not inviting that relative.

It sounds great @weddingquestion12 - it should be all about what you both want, not what a relative thinks is best for you! If you want to have as many family and friends as possible join you to celebrate in a way that means you don't break the bank, rather than having a formal expensive "bit of a do" for fewer people, that's your prerogative!

Sounds great! I have been to massive weddings and smaller ones like this. The smaller ones have always had a nice feel to them.

I wish I got invited to more weddings like this! Makes a refreshing change from being invited to a weekday wedding in a big country house in the middle of nowhere where drinks and accommodation cost a bomb.

I think the budget would benefit from not inviting that relative

This ^

We didn't invite our friend for the same reason. Her nose was put out & she complained. I just said that she'd made it very clear that she wouldn't enjoy what we had planned, so why waste an invite on her, when others really wanted to come & there was limited space.

We got married on a Monday at the registry office with 4 guests and then went to a posh hotel for a champagne high tea afterwards, it was wonderful. The following Saturday we had a party at a friend's pub that started at noon and went on until the early hours with loads of friends from all over the UK. We're very lucky to have a large number of DJs amongst our friends who took turns running the decks throughout. We wouldn't change a thing OP!

Congratulations on your impending wedding and have a fabulous time! 💐

We had a simple wedding and our guests said it was lovely. We were married in an MoD chapel followed by an elegant and delicious lunch in the mess. And that was it!

Your relative is completely wrong, and rude. What you’ve got planned sounds perfect. Congratulations and enjoy your day!

Sounds fine to me. We had about 30 guests and just went for a quiet meal afterwards in a countryside pub, nothing fancy or crazy and suited us all fine.

@GnomeDePlume, matching the ushers' socks quip made me laugh out loud.

We're getting married next month. Around 20 guests, Registry office, maybe a meal out (depends on restrictions) then We're driving to see dps mother as she can't travel. We're thinking of having a party (hire a bar and dj/karaoke type thing) later in the year as we cannot really plan anything atm.

I really like the old fashioned way of doing weddings - late morning / lunchtime ceremony. Wedding breakfast at 2.00ish. Tea and cake at 5ish. Bride and Groom depart at 6ish and go to a lovely hotel and have a lovely dinner, actually spend the evening together alone as a married couple. So romantic.

Sounds absolutely lovely to me. I can't really think how you could make it "nicer" than that!