does this sound like a rubbish wedding?

[weddingquestion12]

name change as probably outing.

i’m wanting to get married next year but our budget is pretty low. tbh even if our budget wasn’t low i can’t see us being the big fancy wedding type as we’re both a bit awkward in settings like that.

we’ve agreed on ceremony at the registry office - 50 guests allowed (hopefully). followed by hiring out a bar and just having a sort of evening party with a buffet.

a relative has said it’s your wedding day you should be doing something nicer than that. are they right?

That’s what we had small registry wedding & buffet in the local pub all over by 6pm. The pub had music every Saturday so all who wanted to stay stayed! Very chilled and most people say that it is their favourite wedding!
We had no formality (speeches etc) no gifts wanted. We also invited our closed friends & family - we could only have 50 so we had to do it like that. Even though it did upset MIL not to invite the random extended family but we wanted our wedding to be attended by people who are and some 20 years later are stil friends.
Do what you want :) we had no money and did it on a budget but id do it again exactly the same even with a lottery win!

This is what my brother did for his wedding and everyone had a great time

I think it sounds great and the kind of thing I want. I'm not too keen on the formal dinner part of weddings anyway, so party with a buffet sounds great to me

Sounds dangerously lavish to me, OP. I honestly thought you were going to propose: a dozen people; local Working Men's Club; no free bar; all food 'breaded'; need it back at nine for Zumba.

I'd love your wedding. Your relly can swivel.

Sounds nice. Have what the 2 of you want. I’d be very happy to go to that. Agree what you want and don’t be swayed. Honestly the idea of what is required for a wedding now is so far removed from how normal people got married not that long ago. I’m mid 40s we had a civil ceremony in local council run stately home then homemade buffet at our house. Friends had register office and meal in local pub. Another had ceildh in village hall. This was the norm not formal sit down at a hotel costing £££.

It sounds perfect. I hope you have a lovely time.
The buffet may need serving as separates depending on restrictions.

Years ago, that's what weddings were like! Usually get married then go to the local village hall for a buffet.
If you get married in a register office, I'd advise trying to book the last slot, so guests don't have loads of hanging around before eating. For my second wedding we got married in a hotel at 4.30, then went into the garden for drinks and photos, whilst the room was set up for the reception. It was completely stressless and lovely. We had sixty guests and it was perfect.

thanks everyone! feeling a lot better about our choice now!

We literally did this recently. 20ish guests at registry, private room at a nice restaurant followed by a bbq in our garden.

We bought marquees and loads of fairy lights and got loads of compliments about what a perfect, relaxed day it was. Also meant we got to actually spend time with our guests.

Its your wedding, do what you want.

I got pressed by my mum to have the big day (I was the first daughter getting married) it was OK. But looking back I would have been as happy with the small wedding we wanted.

My DSIS went to Gretna with family only and it was lovely.

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago- about 20 guests in a lovely registry office, some photos and then to an Italian restaurant. It was lovely, one of the best I've been to. I regret being sucked into having a huge wedding and wish we had done something simpler.

Very similar to my wedding, had more friends join us at the pub for drinks and dancing. It was lots of fun, low stress and as far as I could tell everyone had a good time - o complaints anyway!

My wedding was kind of like that and some family members still talk about how much they enjoyed it. More than 2 decades ago

Sounds bigger than my wedding, and we were very happy with that. I suspect your relative wanted something bigger to freeload.

We had a 2+2 ceremony at the registry office. Then a week later we had a garden party at home and ordered in some cream teas with about 50 odd friends and family. It was the most special day.

We felt spending a fortune would take the shine off the day and neither of us would have enjoyed a huge ceremony.

If it's what you want, go for it. It only has to be special to you.

It was the wedding I had, down to covid and also because we didn't have unlimited funds for a wedding. The most important thing is if it is what feels right for the both of you. It's not about impressing other people. If that's the day you want, then that's what you should have.

no idea

but that relative is not getting a fucking invite. what a twat

I think that sounds like a lovely wedding, OP. One of the nicest weddings I have ever been to was a small registry office thing followed by a party at a local gastropub. It was simple but really fun and everyone seemed to have a great time.

Sound great to me!

Sounds perfect. Actually any wedding I went to like that was the best wedding's, personally I hate traditional wedding's. When invites come in for big sit down meals, starving afterwards wedding's, I dread them and try making up an excuse not to go. Definitely do what you want, I can hand on heart tell you that those who say anything to you will forget your wedding but you'll have the memories for the rest of your life.

Sounds lovely as long as you're getting married late in the day or wrapping up early. I would be pretty hungry if I attended a 2pm wedding and only got one meal to last me through til late evening!

We had a registry office ceremony and a Thai meal with 8 people. It was fab and as we'd cancelled a £20k wedding we paid off a chunk of our mortgage instead!

Sounds wonderful. It will be personal, intimate and low stress and in 20 years time you won't look back in horror at spending 20k on one day when it could have come in much more handy for deposits/ savings / kids etc. Have a fabulous day.

That's exactly what my wedding was like - I loved it!

Sounds great, esp if getting married late in the day. I was pressurised into a big, formal, expensive wedding and looking back it wasn't really what I wanted, I'd have a far smaller informal do nowadays with only about 30 people, if that.

The worst wedding I went to was in the lake District. All of us boxed into this hotel miles from anywhere, wedding at 11.30am for 20 minutes then dinner at 5pm, rude stuck up ignorant guests. I hated it. Best was a 5pm wedding at quirky city centre venue, informal buffet, speeches pre recorded and filled during the meal then dancing (although that was a silent disco which I think are usually shit!)... Huge, pompous day long weddings are a nightmare.

Perfect! Relaxed, informal, good food and music, my perfect kind of wedding.