THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

@MyFartWillGoOn That’s brilliant. Seriously brilliant. You probably made his day!!

@blackfriars

I never used to understand that when spelling something out and using the words universally known for each letter (is it the NASA alphabet or something?) that everyone used the same words - I.e. C = Charlie - and it was a ‘thing’. I thought you just used any word that sprang to mind. So I’d always be on the phone to the bank or my phone provider or whoever, spelling out my postcode ‘S for swashbuckle, H for hippopotamus, N for nice to see you’ and be so confused as to why the other person on the end of the phone was laughing....

My husband was once spelling out our postcode in the same way and announced "N for ... um KNICKERS" which made me laugh so hard I thought |I was going to pass out. Spelling has never been his strongest point, it must be said [laugh]. He wasn't remotely embarrassed about it, mind you.

😂 @lurkingfromhome

Bless em

Dressed as a hippie and collecting for comic relief when a student.

It was a small college in a small place. The college was down the road from the church and the community centre. The su building was across the road from the college, near the old vicarage.

I rushed over to a group of people and said
Cheer up you miserable buggers. Give to comic relief.

They did. They were very generous.

I skipped back down to the su where the people there looked like this

Yup.

Funeral party.

@CimCardashian

I was at a wedding and the only person I knew was the bride.

There was a line up of the wedding party that all the guests congratulated and said hello to. I got to a lady who I assumed was the groom’s Mum….. I said “oh hello,you must be the groom’s Mum”?
She said No,I’m his sister.
Mortified and I was stuck in the bloody line up. I followed it by saying how much I loved her outfit.

I did a similar thing as a hcp. I was assessing a male patient in his early 20s who was accompanied by a woman of around 50. His companion had gone to move her car and returned just as I'd finished with the patient, I said 'your mum is outside the cubicle, shall I send her back in?'. It was his partner

This could be outing, as I have retold this to several people.
Years ago I worked in fruit and veg department of a supermarket. I was restocking tomato display and a customer asked me to show her where a particular item was. I started to say " Just one moment , while I throw out these tomatoes." However for some reason mid sentence I changed 'throw' to 'chuck'. So I consequently shouted out "just one moment , while I fu*k the tomatoes ". The customer did not bat an eyelid, but one of my colleagues practically collapsed in hysterical laughter on the floor. I just nonchalantly asked the customer to follow me , so I could show her where it was.

About 5 years ago i was driving a temporary crock of shit car that had a bit of the bumper hanging loose, it was cracked but still fairly solid to the car.

New neighbours were moving in and had lots of builders around doing some front garden work, deliveries of stuff for an extension and what seemed like the entire family just standing around watching it all unfold.

I said to my other half oh no I'm not ready for introductions and kind of nodded towards them with my shopping bags in my hand and popped my head down as i got out the car to go into the house

Someone gave me a wave and said hello .. I turned around, my jeans got caught on the bumper ripped and pulled down to expose half my entire arse as i tried to step backwards

Dropped my shopping bags to try unattach myself but basically they just all chuckled and then busied themselves pretending it didn't happen.

My jeans went in the bin, my car was replaced 2 months later and I never did actually introduce myself.

Oh and when i went into Specsavers a few weeks ago, went to sit down completely missed the chair and ended up on the floor.

There was about 6 other people there just asking me constantly if i was ok. The receptionist grinning away at me.

The chair was up against a wall and i dont know how i did it but i can see the funny side. just about

First day back at work after maternity leave, sitting in a meeting with my very stern boss and a couple of other people. He sneezed, and without thinking I said ‘oh bless that little sneezie’ in the same voice I used with my 9 month old DD. He just stared at me and I wanted to die.

I had been promoted and was on my first business trip with a junior male colleague. We were checking in to the hotel and I realised that my passport was in my cabin suitcase, but as I was getting it out the whole suitcase flipped open and my seriously unflattering medical beige coloured padded bra fell out on to the lobby floor, with junior colleague starting straight at it. Not quite the slick professional image I was going for..

With a special needs kid there are too many to even remember. But most are awful embarrassing rather than funny embarrassing

@PepsiMax91

Oh and when i went into Specsavers a few weeks ago, went to sit down completely missed the chair and ended up on the floor.

There was about 6 other people there just asking me constantly if i was ok. The receptionist grinning away at me.

The chair was up against a wall and i dont know how i did it but i can see the funny side. just about

Ha ha that is literally the advert played out in real life- did you say “oops, just as well I’m already in Specsavers?” 😂😂

God I’ve so many, a couple of years ago on a very hot summers day, I was in town to bank a cheque, I had a floor length empire line maxi dress on, very cool snd summery but not exactly flattering on my far from flat belly.
The cashier at said to my DD ‘bet you can’t wait until the baby is born can you?’ DD was very confused as SIL was pregnant at the time. I was mortified and the dress got binned that evening.

A friend of mine started a new job and being a technical sort was left to set up a computer which he’d inherited from his predecessor.. He was going through some old files when he found a particularly large media one, using lots of disc space. This was back in the 90’s when things took ages to download.

So, before deleting it he decided to check what it was in case it was something important. He clicked on if and, preparing himself for a very long wait, went off to get himself a coffee.

Anyway, when he ambled back to his desk 10 minutes or so later the file had started playing and his shocked colleagues were watching a porno clip involving a particularly well hung horse!!!

Of course he resolutely denied anything to do with it but he had the distinct feeling no one believed him 😱. Poor guy was utterly mortified.

I wet myself during a play rehearsal when I was in Brownies. I was 8 at the time. Brown Owl lent me a pair of jeans that were a couple of sizes too big and Kingfisher gave me a huge pair of knickers.

@ElaborateSalad

At the age of nineteen, I sleepwalked naked into the taxi rank across the road from my flat.

The first thing I remember was trying to hide myself behind an office chair. The police were called. I honestly had no idea how I'd come to be there.

Unkind of me, I know, but that really made me laugh, even though it must have been awful.

It's one of those things that, if you saw it in a film, would make you think it was incredibly unrealistic.

Cringing at the memory of this one ..... on my first day in my new job I was taken around the building to meet to the Directors of the firm. Now one of the Directors had interviewed me (with others) and ultimately they had offered me the job... I reached out to shake her hand and said ‘hello again Clare’, there was an awkward pause and she corrected me and said ‘it’s Emma’. Still dying at the memory 2 years on.

I took my daughter to see a specialist who introduced herself by saying, "Hi, I'm Marcia" to which, inexplicably, I replied, "Hi, I'm Marcia".

On more than one occasion, when talking to somebody with a strong accent, I've found myself subconsciously adopting it when replying to them - so it sounds like I'm deliberately making fun of them, when I haven't even noticed what's happened.

Fantastic thread - chalet maid turd-flush spectator is the winner for me so far!

When my husband's brother got married, their mother was in hospital. I was asked to step in as "mother of the groom" at the reception, and had to stand in the receiving line with their Dad . Very few people knew that side of the family, so I was shaking hands with a lot of strangers.

I was horrified to find that most of the guests commented to me such things as "you must be proud of your son" etc. The "son" in question was 25 and I was 23 ! I vowed to improve my skin care after that occasion !

@Paripale

A friend of mine started a new job and being a technical sort was left to set up a computer which he’d inherited from his predecessor.. He was going through some old files when he found a particularly large media one, using lots of disc space. This was back in the 90’s when things took ages to download. So, before deleting it he decided to check what it was in case it was something important. He clicked on if and, preparing himself for a very long wait, went off to get himself a coffee.

Anyway, when he ambled back to his desk 10 minutes or so later the file had started playing and his shocked colleagues were watching a porno clip involving a particularly well hung horse!!!

Of course he resolutely denied anything to do with it but he had the distinct feeling no one believed him 😱. Poor guy was utterly mortified.

This isn’t funny. Porn would be instant dismissal in most jobs. The employer would 100% have had to investigate and clear his name.

i’d been to the pub one friday night and managed to score a walk home from the most handsome man i’d ever seen.

i was living in my friend’s cottage. she’d had a tv delivered that day and the box was next to the stairs, this was the nineties so it was a Big Box.

so we made it back to the house, and i needed a wee. i politely excused myself (at least i hope i did - i was hammered) and headed for the stairs. on the way there, the room did a sudden tilt to the left. i staggered sideways, put my hands out to avoid falling...and gently folded myself into the giant empty tv box. like, all the way in. as the flaps closed over my head i heard a muffled ‘what the FUCK?’ but there was no way of saving the situation.

by the time i’d stopped giggling and crawled back out he’d left. the horror. i saw him at the pub the following week and he did a smart about-face and legged it.

My most embarrassing moments usually occur when I open my mouth and say something inappropriate. I am getting worse the older I get. I daren't give any examples as certain Mumsnetters would crucify me even though my comments are genuinely not intended to be inappropriate.

The cringe moment that I still curl up and die a little thinking of occurred 40 years ago. I am keeping this deliberately vague. There was a man I had admired greatly from a distance for a couple of years. Eventually the day came for me to be introduced to him. It was a boiling hot day and I was sweating profusely. He put his hand out for me to shake, but my palms were running with sweat. Instead of wiping them down my sides, or giving him a sweaty handshake, or even just saying 'I'm sorry, my hands are rather too sweaty to shake yours' I just cringed like a silly child and wordlessly kept my hands behind my back leaving him standing there with his hand out. I could have died then, and I still could die now thinking of it.

@userinterface34

Not long after I started dating my now dh I thought it was him that I saw browsing the ladies underwear so walked up behind him and jabbed him and said what you doing you perv thinking I was funny but It wasn’t him. Poor man went bright red and scuttled off

That made me chuckle! I had a similar moment. Saw the back of a friend in a theatre. Went up, gave her a cheery poke and said hello. Woman turned round. Not my friend.

I often wonder how this lady must feel! My husband was in hospital and another patient, in his late eighties, said to a health care assistant "Not ANOTHER blood pressure check!" And the woman said "Yes, well you'd be amazed how much they can tell about your health from your BP readings". He said to her "My dear, do you know who I am? If not, I suggest you go and ask!" He was a Professor of Medicine, and had taught several of the consultants in the hospital. My husband felt very sorry for her, as the next time she came to check the BPs she seemed very embarrassed and not her usual lovely chatty self.
I thought the Prof was pretty ignorant, to be honest.

by the time i’d stopped giggling and crawled back out he’d left. the horror. i saw him at the pub the following week and he did a smart about-face and legged it.

You had a lucky escape! Anyone who didn't think that was hilarious is missing something!