THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

I saw an old Uni friend in town last week.
We were chatting about her job when she asks me "What are you doing now, MissMissTorrance?"
" Just going to the supermarket" I replied.

I've flashed my boobs a few times on different water sports, I now wear a trusty halter neck!

So, so many, mostly drunken ones

After a one night stand my period was late, I text my best friend in a panic saying I thought I might be pregnant and I’d be doing a test after work. Or so I thought. I text the guy I’d had a one night stand with! That’s was awkward!

@ImprobablePuffin

Oh my god I have so many, I'm a walking embarrassment to myself.

The one that haunts me is going to my first ever boyfriends house. So about 22 years ago.
His mum was absolutely terrifying and put the fear of god into me. And she didn't like me because she thought I was an idiot (I'm actually reasonably intelligent but just turned into a bumbling mess around her)

Anyway I offered to help with the dinner or at least I tried to. What I actually did was walk up to her in the kitchen and as she spun round and caught me with her hatred filled eyes I just panicked, proceeded to try and talk but all that came out was "Blortgon". I immediately went bright red and dropped my glass of squash, smashing the glass all over the kitchen floor.

I wanted to die. And still do when it pops into my head at 3am, I physically recoil with shame thinking about it.

Blortgon 😂😂😂😂

I have a LOT because my dm devised her own programme for me as a child to deal with what I now know was my Autism.
Her way was to put me into my trigger situations etc or try to train me out if behaviours by ‘de sensitising’ me, sort of like exposure therapy followed by extreme ridicule so that I learnt ‘how to behave normally’

I blushed terribly too so this didn’t help. I was frequently embarrassed.

Probably the most embarrassing situations were : being forced to pay in a shop where the shopkeeper had a v hard to understand accent and woukd talk too much so she wanted to see how I responded and I misheard him so when he asked how was I I thought he said how long till the school holidays and replied then dm took the piss out of me for about 3 weeks non stop.
Another time I tripped over as she made me walk ahead to check I wasn’t waking strangely and then it ended up making me scared to go out

The worst was probably age 9 she told me because of how I was I’d never get the main part in any plays so I lied and said I had ….. and on the day with her I’m the audience the shame I felt and the fear of knowing I had to go home for her to make fun of me I was SO embarrassed

@ShitPoetryClub

The best I've ever read was on here a few years back, the poster was leading a conference, stood up at the beginning of the event and said "Hello, I'm Nigella Lawson", except she wasn't and she had no idea why she said it.

There was also another poster who was greeting guests at a conference, she shook hands with one delegate, leaned in towards her and whispered in her ear "Do one" for no reason at all.

I have never forgotten these and when I have an embarrassing moment I realise things could be worse.

Was that not "I'm Angela Hernandez". Except she wasn't and the real Angela Hernandez shouted no you're not!

@SoManyy

I have a LOT because my dm devised her own programme for me as a child to deal with what I now know was my Autism. Her way was to put me into my trigger situations etc or try to train me out if behaviours by ‘de sensitising’ me, sort of like exposure therapy followed by extreme ridicule so that I learnt ‘how to behave normally’

I blushed terribly too so this didn’t help. I was frequently embarrassed.

Probably the most embarrassing situations were : being forced to pay in a shop where the shopkeeper had a v hard to understand accent and woukd talk too much so she wanted to see how I responded and I misheard him so when he asked how was I I thought he said how long till the school holidays and replied then dm took the piss out of me for about 3 weeks non stop.
Another time I tripped over as she made me walk ahead to check I wasn’t waking strangely and then it ended up making me scared to go out

The worst was probably age 9 she told me because of how I was I’d never get the main part in any plays so I lied and said I had ….. and on the day with her I’m the audience the shame I felt and the fear of knowing I had to go home for her to make fun of me I was SO embarrassed

This is so awful. I’m sorry.

None of that embarrassment was yours, SoManyy
Your mother was horribly abusive.

@ShrikeAttack

No *@Monsterjuice* obviously nobody clapped.

Because it wasn't a performative post.

I don't get embarrassed and I don't feel shame.

Why should I?

I was brought up in a very Catholic environment and went to a Covent school.

It really did make me realise that shame and its societal friend embarrassment were tools that are used to mold behaviour. I don't think that makes me great or deserve applaud.

I'm very calm and don't really care what you may think about me.

I just lost the idea that other people's mad opinions mattered when I was quite young.

So why bother posting on this thread then? One which clearly asks for people to post their embarrassing stories? Surely this thread is of absolutely no interest to you because you don’t get embarrassed?!

Not mine but many moons ago a friend was babysitting for a couple she knew. The husband had form for pranks.
After the kids had gone to sleep, the phone rings. It's the husband asking if he can speak to Sarah (not the wife's name) So friend says "hold on a moment", walks to the kitchen, comes back and puts on a silly voice and says "Sarah here".....silence......then "Eh sorry I think I have the wrong number"
It wasn't the husband after all 😆

I was living with my boyfriend and his family for a while and I left my used tampon on the window ledge and forgot to clear it up/away. When I went to work I remembered and txt my bf to check and he replied to say it was no longer there.
He had a younger teen brother and I really hope he didn't see it. I hope his mum or female carer found it. Argh

A horrible one I feel embarrassed about is being out with a bf abd his mates and their gf. My bf was cheating but gaslighting me and I was really quite off the rails and out of control. We'd had an argument and I was drunk and I took out a pen knife bf had given me as a gift and threatened to harm myself with the whole group of people watching me. I was in a very bad place and they all thought I was crazy
I was crazy because bf had made me crazy.
Still hate thinking about that night :( but it probably is the most embarrassing thing I've ever done :(

I'm glad my "Blortgon" saga cheered a few people up.
Honestly I'm so awkward I constantly embarrass myself. I started a thread not long ago because I farted in my surgeons face whilst he was at arse height for a pre op assessment. Awful.

It was however, on that thread that someone commented that they were at the dentist and the dentist said "suction" and she thought he was talking to her so she just started sucking his finger

loving this thread!
@ImprobablePuffin I did something similar to your "Blortgton".

Going back about 20 or so years, I was at college and took a part time job at a motorway services in the restaurant there. Manager was an absolute bitch to all the young student part timers like me. She would snap at us and be really intimidating. At age 18 I was terrified of her. One day she asked me to come over to her as she wanted to ask me something, I walked over as she muttered something and I went to say pardon and sorry and instead loudly blurted out "PARNEY" and she looked me up and down like I was shit on her shoe. Still cringe now!

@ShrikeAttack - as much as this was meant as a light hearted and humorous thread, I do totally get your point, and plaid it and you. I don’t think you deserve the shitty comments you got for it though. People be peopling, and shame should have no place in our lives.
This was more embarrassment than shame thoug, and I also enjoy all the tales of redfacedness. Loads of them I’d brazen out though. Life’s too short and who cares? But they’re still amusing.
I’ve a list of cringes myself, but also don’t really care anymore. Life’s too short, we all fuck up, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. Cringing and embarrassed, sure. But laugh it off, gals. Laugh it off :)

It was however, on that thread that someone commented that they were at the dentist and the dentist said "suction" and she thought he was talking to her so she just started sucking his finger grin

Omfg I’m crying. Absolutely crying with laughter at this! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

F

@SoSadAboutMyDad whatever happened to ‘be kind’? Can’t abide a rude bully, so read room yourself and talk nicely to people or keep it to yourself. Wholly unnecessary reply - and says an awful lot about you, really.

I used to work in a large open plan office and my boss used to sit a few desk rows in front. I needed help with something so stood up to call her over. However, instead of calling her name I shouted over “Mum!” Lots of people heard too and just looked at me. I just slid back into my chair 🙈

“PARNEY”🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Years back we had relatives come over to visit from Canada. They landed in Manchester to visit some other family members in the Blackpool area and were making their way down south to see us a few days later. My older brother had been staying at his girlfriend's for a few days while all this was going on so he arrived back home in the middle of when we were entertaining the visitors. He walked in, took one look at the gaudy glittery candle holder on mum's mantelpiece and exclaimed "God, where did you get that, it's awful, not your taste at all!"
The Canadian relatives had bought it from Blackpool as a gift for my mum. The place fell silent! My nan told him off and made him apologise

@longtimeagonow46 "instead loudly blurted out "PARNEY""

These are great! But so many are only embarrassing because the other people involved made them embarrassing with their reactions.

Which reminds me of one time I was getting on the bus, I tripped and for some reason fell to the floor in slow motion. I wasn’t initially embarrassed, I thought it was funny, then I looked up grinning and the whole bus was just stony faced. No one acknowledged it, no one asked if I was ok. Then I was embarrassed and I scuttled off to my seat bright red.

Had a good laugh about it the next day with the lady who had been behind me getting on the bus, I asked her if the fall was as slow as it felt and she said she’d never seen anyone fall so slowly before (I think she probably did ask me if I was ok but the mortification would have set in by that point so wouldn’t have heard her but she was lovely)

So many of my embarrassing moments have been caused by me falling over! I luckily don’t get anywhere near as easily embarrassed as I used to. Such a horrid feeling!

@Pricklypear12 I think it was because I was so scared of her and afterwards wanted to curl up and disappear 😂

NC for this, a colleague of mine when I worked in tech sector in 80s was called Gay Power ( Gay can be a male or female name in Ireland, and Power is a common name in a certain part of the country ). I received a recognition award for a project I worked on while at HQ in the US and thanked Gay Power in an all site meeting. I got a huge cheer, afterwards I found it was taken as a political statement in 80s California…not intended at all!!

Same time I shared a nice flat, but was always there alone at weekends. On Sat I’d a routine of sleep in, masturbate (loudly), put on some music, and go around naked cleaning and singing. Was doing that as usual when to my horror my flatmates BF was there staying over. He never mentioned it, nor did my flatmate.

@Longtimeagonow46 I can't stop saying parney in my head and chuckling to myself. I feel like this may turn into my new pardon