THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

ElaborateSalad
At the age of nineteen, I sleepwalked naked into the taxi rank across the road from my flat.

The first thing I remember was trying to hide myself behind an office chair. The police were called. I honestly had no idea how I'd come to be there.
What was an office chair doing at the taxi rank/in the street?

Probably in the back office?

At work, my lovely boss introduced me to someone:

"This is (my name), she's brilliant"

Instead of thanking him, asking what the other person's name was, or any other normal reaction, I said - "So they say!" and walked away.

I want to die when I remember this.

This was my DH. He had a work Christmas party at the dog races. It was called Brough Park. He got in the taxi and asked to be taken to woof park. The driver laughed all the way there. It still makes me giggle many years later.

Sending a very dirty text intended for my then husband but accidentally sent to my father.

@MyFartWillGoOn I never usually get the giggles from these threads but your story has done it

I was far too excited about a night out in London to celebrate my 40th. We'd ordered a mini bus home. I hadn't drunk that much but I swear it was all the roundabouts getting onto the A40. I fell asleep, woke up and did a (smallish) projectile vomit over the driver's sat nav (I was in the front). I was last to be dropped off and insisted on going inside to get my cleaning supplies and cleaning it all. I was particularly intransigent about paying an extra fee for my actions and got my husband out of bed at 3am to back me up.

I woke up the next morning with a hangover, wrote a very heartfelt apology letter together with £70 and went to the cab firm in person to beg for forgiveness. I still feel bad about it.

Cause half of last weeks' threads ended up in the Daily Mail, and there's nothing cheaper than getting people to re-tell their favourite story about themselves

There is no obligation to reply though if that’s what anyone thought. Why not just scroll on rather than be nasty? I was clearly having a moment remembering stuff and wanted a bit of lighthearted solidarity. Long posting history, no NC but if that’s not good enough why click on the thread?

To all the people that have shared, thank you so much. I have absolutely laughed so hard throughout my work breaks today at most of these. It’s nice to know we are all only human and embarrassment is clearly a good thing. Those that don’t get embarrassed at all came across as….odd on this thread.

@LobotomisedIceSkatingFan that has to be one the funniest things i have ever read, crying laughing.

@ImprobablePuffin absolutely howling at Blorgton 🤣🤣

DH accidentally sexted my mum instead of me once, luckily it was from his old phone number which he had been transferring photos from to his laptop. My mum had updated his phone number in her phone so when the text came through to her, it didn't show as from him so he got away with it. He was very careful after that!

My best friend Emma was due to come over to my house. I had decided to do some fake tanning and was just wearing knickers when the doorbell went.

'Is that you Emma?' I called, thinking it wouldn't matter if I opened the door half naked to my best friend, and she would probably find it quite funny.

'Yes it's me' she replied.

I opened the door in just my knickers and there was Emma with her 21 year old little brother.

I have had lots, but tend to block them out until it’s 3am, I’m bed and can’t sleep.

I will tell you DP’s though. We went on our first holiday together 10 years ago to a ‘premium’ all inclusive resort - the kind that does shit wine but allows you to order premium spirits included. We met a Scottish guy and had a few drinks - I was tired so went back to the room and left him to it whilst the Scot was teaching DP about whiskey (note at the time he really only drunk mixers and coke or alcopops).

Queue 3am, I’m asleep and there’s a loud knock on the door. There is DP soaked, wearing a dressing gown and with two staff either side of him. Turns out the whiskey was too much, he threw up all over himself and got escorted to a spare room to shower and returned back to me. He actively avoided the Scotsman for the rest of the holiday and barely drank a drop afterwards.

@Staffy1

Maybe it was on the card as “Pattie” which could possibly look like Poddle in a scrawled hand-writing.

Or Patricia

[quote OlympicProcrastinator]@Mymapuddlington haha you have reminded me when I did something similar and thought I was being clever by saying, “remind me how I spell your name so I can look you up?” And she replied sarcastically, “what? Alex?”. She never spoke to me again [/quote]
She was being rude, you wouldn't want her as a friend anyway. Lots of different ways of spelling Alex or similar names. What kind of person mocks someone for asking that?

Oh god I've done so many stupidity embarrassing things.
One time years ago I was waiting at the bus stop early morning to go to work. There was about 6 people in the queue. A white car slows down and the driver winds down the window to beckon to her friend to jump in. Now I'm not sure if I thought the person might look familiar or the car did but I moved forward to get in the car, 😭. Then the girl behind me breezed past and said "she means me"... So I had to breeze it out like I usually try to get into total strangers cars. Mortified had to stand back in the queue.
Another time at a child's party. The entertainer was setting up, he was a magician. Party girls mum and I got chatting. She said have you ever seen this act before and I said no I hadn't. 5 minutes later we were all sat down with the kids waiting on him to start. I leaned over and said enthusiastically to the mum "oh he's brilliant. Good choice!" he hadn't actually started yet. 😭. No idea why I said that!?

Crying with laughter at

1. The lady who made a face rather than a fist at the hospital. I roared with laughter!
2. The girl on the till who said 'spin me like a kadeliscope.' Can only imagine the customers wft reaction!
3. The lady who picked up the phone referring to herself as a doctor who was calling her.

So funny, thanks for the laughs!

Not really embarrassing just funny. Went to a party years ago with a friend. We were trying to order a taxi home and my friend was on the phone spelling the street name to the operator.
The lady on the phone said “Is that S for Sarah?” And my friend said, “No, my name’s Kelly.”

Another time I saw I had a missed call from an unrecognised number. I was queuing in a shop with my friend and I called the number back. My friend’s phone rang at the same time and she answered. We realised we were then on the phone to each other stood right next to each other, the shop assistant looked at us like we were completely first.

I meant ditzy*, not first !

This is a very long time ago. There have been loads since but this one has stuck in my mind. I was about 14. Had a picture of my pop star crush that I kept in my pencil case. One day I was asked up to the front of the class to give some sort of reading. The teacher turned her back for a minute and my friend got the picture out and held it up, showing it to me. I shook my fist at her and was laughing. The teacher turned round and saw me, and even thought I knew she was watching me I carried on showing off. Friend had put it away by then and was mortified. Then the teacher said that she didn't want 'someone like me' doing the reading, and sent me to sit down. Heaven knows why I embarrassed myself like that.

spin me round like a kaleidoscope

I am actually crying with laughter at that!

When I was 18 in my first job a colleague who lived near me arranged with my boss to get a lift to a works event miles away in the country. She asked if he could give me a lift too. At the end of the evening I waited for my lift home only to find my colleague only arranged for a lift there as unknown to me she was having an affair with him and was staying overnight. I was tearful and he was absolutely livid. There was no taxi service, this was 1979 and miles from anywhere. I remember him saying ‘you’re not expecting me to take you are you?’ I nodded. He gave me a lift home on my own in complete silence and rage, driving fast down country lanes and crunching his gears. I thanked him when I got out and he sped off without a word. Monday morning I went to work neither of them mentioned it and were cool and horrible towards me until I left 12 months later.

Argh! Annacondom has just reminded me of when the whistle blew in the playground for the end of break and I (aged about 10) didn't realise and yelled "OFF WITH HER HEAD!!"

As a teen once, I had a nosebleed in the car. I was with my Mum and brother, and none of us had a tissue, my Mum only had sanitary towels, so I had to stick one under my nose. A guy I really liked from school then walked past the car with his mates.

This isn't mine, but I loved it! From a book about the Edwardians. About the problems of carrying on an affair (remembering who is in which bedroom) in old creaky country houses during a house party . So a guest, Lord Beresford, waits until the guests have gone to bed and servants departed, creeps down the corridor and tiptoes into his ladylove's bedroom, launches himself into the vast bed shouting "Cock-a-doodle-do!", lights his paraffin lamp and finds himself in between the Bishop of Chester and his wife. (Lord B left before breakfast the following morning.)

I was in a busy dress shop I hadn't been in before that, unbeknownst to me, had a mirrored wall opposite the door. As I walked in I thought the woman walking towards me looked very like me. We both carried on walking and as I got near I said 'Oh you look just like me'. A second later I bumped into the mirror and realised it was me. There was quite a lot of sniggering.

Only excuse is I suffer from slight face blindness.