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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Saturday Night England Match??

463 replies

CityMumma78 · 30/06/2021 23:50

Hey everyone, please help me…
This Saturday we are due to go out with my parents to celebrate their special wedding anniversary. We are going out to a low key basic chain restaurant with our kids and my brother and his kids and we have two tables booked for 7pm. This arrangement has been in place for 1 week and we all live local so no special guests travelling from miles around to attend. Last week when we were arranging the evening we didn’t even consider the Euro fixtures but because England won last night and are playing on Saturday night we REALLY want to watch the game! I asked my parents if they could change the booking by half an hour which would allow us enough time for a leisurely dinner and taking into account the drive home this would enable us to watch the 2nd half. I have checked at the restaurant and there is plenty of availability to make a slightly earlier booking but when I spoke to my parents last night they have refused, point blank refused to change the booking by half an hour from 7pm to 6.30!! There is no reason other than they don’t want to. I haven’t asked them to rearrange the date I just want to bring it forward by 30 minutes but I have been made to feel guilty for even asking and I’m so angry they they can’t be more flexible to allow us to watch just part of the England game in the quarter finals. My husband doesn’t even want to go now.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Sciurus83 · 02/07/2021 06:26

My parents are quite self absorbed, stubborn and difficult mmm hmmm. Apple don't fall far....

BatshitCrazyWoman · 02/07/2021 06:37

@emilyfrost

YABVU. Your parents dinner is far more important than a load of sweaty men running around a pitch.

It was really cheeky of you to even ask and they were right to refuse. Your DH is behaving like a child and throwing a strop now saying he doesn’t want to go.

I agree. I hate, loathe and detest football and would be really annoyed you wanted to rearrange everything to watch it
Rillington · 02/07/2021 07:03

It's you that's self absorbed not your parents. It's a game of football, you have shown them what your priorities are.

Bluesheep8 · 02/07/2021 07:04

It’s literally moving the start time by 30 minutes. That’s it. I can’t imagine anyone I know being offended by that. Rigid much.

So it's THEIR meal for THEIR significant anniversary and THEY have to change the time and tell everyone else who's going that the time has been changed, to accommodate you watching the football?
Sorry OP but I do think YABU.

SillyLittleBiscuit · 02/07/2021 07:21

30 minutes! Not another day. Not another restaurant. 30 minutes. It’s not a big in the slightest. Baffled by the reactions.

ExtraOnions · 02/07/2021 07:37

It’s the biggest match in years, recording it and watching it later really isn’t the same (the likelihood being you’ll hear the shouts in the street.
It’s only 30 minutes … TBH, I would be asking them to move it right back do I didn’t miss a minute.

Mayaspecialist · 02/07/2021 07:47

@ExtraOnions

It’s the biggest match in years, recording it and watching it later really isn’t the same (the likelihood being you’ll hear the shouts in the street. It’s only 30 minutes … TBH, I would be asking them to move it right back do I didn’t miss a minute.
That gets said so everytime there's are a euros or world Cup.

Given both tournaments are played at 2 year intervals, we can always say its the biggest game in years. Because it's always 2 years ago, or 3 this time. I don't think this is any bigger than our last game in the world Cup.

Its like the default line that everyone uses to make people feel they have to care. Makes it sound like we haven't got this far since the 1960s.

LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 02/07/2021 08:12

'I don't think this is any bigger than our last game in the world Cup.'

It's not even as big. The QFs of the Euros isn't as significant as the SFs of the World Cup.

RedHelenB · 02/07/2021 08:16

You agreed to go to the meal first so should stick to that imo.

Brefugee · 02/07/2021 08:18

It’s the biggest match in years

Not that many years unless I dreamt them being in the semi-final of the World Cup.

Tbh after your last update OP I think I know who the selfish and self-absobed ones are (well both lots but you a bit more). Anyone who has been paying attention since Germany won the world cup will have seen this coming.

I think it's a shame that the very first time your parents try to arrange something you want to change it. They don't want to, you don't want to go so just say "sorry, not coming" but don't be surprised if they a) never arrange anything again and b) if they do, you don't get invited.

For the "meal was organised late" maybe the parents were waiting to see what the regs around restaurants etc would be? Maybe they'd been trying to get something and got a cancelation (by someone who will now stay home to watch footy?)

Life & families, eh?

Alann01 · 02/07/2021 08:33

WTF! Don't they know it's coming home?

FloconDeNeige · 02/07/2021 08:38

Those saying to record & watch later are being unreasonable. It’s very difficult to avoid the result unless you live in isolation from the rest of the population.

I live in a Swiss ski resort and the racket and commotion in the streets after they knocked France out, was absolutely unavoidable. Rubbed salt in (French) DH’s wounds somewhat too! Grin

LizzieW1969 · 02/07/2021 10:35

Is it possibly the case that the OP isn’t a big football fan and made a mistake in agreeing the date and time of the anniversary meal without consulting her DH? It’s the sort of mistake I would make, if I didn’t consult my DH before agreeing when the meal should be.

The parents are making a mistake in refusing to compromise IMO; it would be such a simple matter to either move the time forwards to 6:30 (as the OP suggests) or change the date. It would make for a much happier occasion for them as well.

Mayaspecialist · 02/07/2021 11:25

@LizzieW1969

Is it possibly the case that the OP isn’t a big football fan and made a mistake in agreeing the date and time of the anniversary meal without consulting her DH? It’s the sort of mistake I would make, if I didn’t consult my DH before agreeing when the meal should be.

The parents are making a mistake in refusing to compromise IMO; it would be such a simple matter to either move the time forwards to 6:30 (as the OP suggests) or change the date. It would make for a much happier occasion for them as well.

If that is the case, why didn't the op mention that?

If you are right and op just left that part out, I think that says quite a bit about her that she wanted to come here, post and then have everyone agree that her parents were just awful for not going by her wishes.

We don't even know why the parents won't change. Maybe it's because things always have to be done on Ops terms (which I whyvthey avoid planning things) or Ops husbands terms.

We can all speculate, different situations. So I don't think anyone can say its a mistake on the parents side.

SVRT19674 · 02/07/2021 11:32

Maybe they want your full attention. YABU.

LizzieW1969 · 02/07/2021 12:20

I’m not talking about who is right and who is wrong in a moral sense, though. I think the OP’s DH is being very childish about it, as it happens. But surely the parents will want their anniversary meal to be a happy occasion? Why refuse to bring the booking forward by half an hour? It isn’t a large-scale event with lots of guests coming from a distance; it’s simply a family meal out at a chain restaurant.

I’m saying what I would do in their shoes really. Not because I would care about the England game (I don’t watch football), but if I knew that other family members did, I would understand and try to accommodate them.

Bluesheep8 · 02/07/2021 12:39

Why refuse to bring the booking forward by half an hour? It isn’t a large-scale event with lots of guests coming from a distance; it’s simply a family meal out at a chain restaurant.

It still matters to them, regardless of scale or venue. Are they only entitled to think it matters more than football if there are more people and a posher venue?

SillyLittleBiscuit · 02/07/2021 12:45

As if moving an easily moveable meal forward by 30 mins would really matter to anyone! You’d be constantly wound up by perceived slights.

LizzieW1969 · 02/07/2021 12:55

@SillyLittleBiscuit

I agree, I really don’t understand it. At least it will give more time before the football match starts. As it’s a chain restaurant, there is a good chance it will be on the TV there anyway, which will be a big distraction.

I remember that my DSis’s first wedding (to her abusive first H), England were beating Germany 5-1, and a lot of guests disappeared to watch the football during the reception.

Aprilx · 02/07/2021 12:58

@SillyLittleBiscuit

30 minutes! Not another day. Not another restaurant. 30 minutes. It’s not a big in the slightest. Baffled by the reactions.
It isn’t just the thirty minutes though. It also means they will be clock watching for the time that they are there, then dashing off as soon as they can. I think most people would have assumed that the anniversary dinner was the whole evening, not something to get out of the way.
Bluesheep8 · 02/07/2021 13:07

It isn’t just the thirty minutes though. It also means they will be clock watching for the time that they are there, then dashing off as soon as they can. I think most people would have assumed that the anniversary dinner was the whole evening, not something to get out of the way.

Exactly.

Mayaspecialist · 02/07/2021 13:07

In same view, why is op and her husband kicking up such a fuss so they can, hopefully, get home for the 2nd half of a game. Its not even the full match.

Let's be honest, it will probably go to extra time at least.

Op seems affronted they don't organise things. And then when they do, what's it changing to suit her.

Vivi0 · 02/07/2021 13:16

@Bluesheep8

It isn’t just the thirty minutes though. It also means they will be clock watching for the time that they are there, then dashing off as soon as they can. I think most people would have assumed that the anniversary dinner was the whole evening, not something to get out of the way.

Exactly.

The OP has already said that the meal has been allocated a time slot by the restaurant so they have to leave by Xpm anyway. So yeah, it is just the 30 minutes.
SillyLittleBiscuit · 02/07/2021 13:17

That’s not in the same view at all. You’re not missing half the meal just having it ever so slightly earlier. Nothing like missing half a game.

OP said it’s a set time slot for dinner (I’m guessing they’ll have the table 2 hours) so no clock watching or distraction that’ll be any different to knowing you only had a 2 hour time slot 30 mins later.

TheMerrickBoy · 02/07/2021 13:33

If they're controlling and horrible and intransigent and you'd rather watch the football, just don't go. If they're not so bad and you want to help them celebrate, do it at the time the thing is happening and don't expect it to be moved because you want to watch sport.