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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Saturday Night England Match??

463 replies

CityMumma78 · 30/06/2021 23:50

Hey everyone, please help me…
This Saturday we are due to go out with my parents to celebrate their special wedding anniversary. We are going out to a low key basic chain restaurant with our kids and my brother and his kids and we have two tables booked for 7pm. This arrangement has been in place for 1 week and we all live local so no special guests travelling from miles around to attend. Last week when we were arranging the evening we didn’t even consider the Euro fixtures but because England won last night and are playing on Saturday night we REALLY want to watch the game! I asked my parents if they could change the booking by half an hour which would allow us enough time for a leisurely dinner and taking into account the drive home this would enable us to watch the 2nd half. I have checked at the restaurant and there is plenty of availability to make a slightly earlier booking but when I spoke to my parents last night they have refused, point blank refused to change the booking by half an hour from 7pm to 6.30!! There is no reason other than they don’t want to. I haven’t asked them to rearrange the date I just want to bring it forward by 30 minutes but I have been made to feel guilty for even asking and I’m so angry they they can’t be more flexible to allow us to watch just part of the England game in the quarter finals. My husband doesn’t even want to go now.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Itsprobablynotcominghome · 01/07/2021 12:23

I think you’ll make it back with plenty of time to see the penalties.

LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 01/07/2021 12:25

'I was brought up to honour a prior commitment'

Yep.

thing47 · 01/07/2021 12:27

Imagine planning and booking a celebration and then not wanting to change it for something you don't care about being called controling

I didn't call it controlling, I asked whether it was – the clue is in the question mark at the end of the sentence.

I was trying to establish the relationship between OP and her parents as I believe this is an important factor and ask why they aren't prepared to compromise.

All OP is asking for is a half-hour change, heck I'd do that if someone said they had to pick a child up from an activity, or collect shopping for an elderly relative, or a myriad other possible reasons why life might interfere and make a small time change necessary. The cause of the time change isn't directly relevant.

ForeverAintEnough3 · 01/07/2021 12:33

@thing47 no she isn’t. She asking to move meal area so she can throw some food into her and run off ASAP to watch the match. She couldn’t care less about her parents having a nice time so it’s no wonder they don’t want to change plans. Not much of a celebration for them is it!

towers14 · 01/07/2021 12:36

Yanbu, my dh would refuse to go but he does prioritise football over EVERYTHING else. C'mon England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

HarebrightCedarmoon · 01/07/2021 12:43

Who has diner reservations at 6:30? Unless you are in hospital, it's not really cheerful to be forced to eat so early

Dinner at 6.30pm is perfect for me. Eating late means no sleep that night.

It's their wedding anniversary, just cancel, let them go out as a couple and do something with them the next day. I would probably think differently if it were a special birthday. Make a cake and get them round Sunday afternoon for some cake and fizz.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 01/07/2021 12:47

I have to say I’m quite surprised by how rude some people are with their comments!
But you think the height of decorum is putting a football match as a bigger priority over your parents celebrating an anniversary. Your poor parents.

Terhou · 01/07/2021 12:54

but OP didn't say she'd rather watch the game, she said she'd rather do BOTH! what's wrong with wanting to do 2 things instead of one, if all it takes is a little flexibility?

I think the point is that, even with a 30 minute earlier start, everyone will be aware that OP and her husband are clock watching and itching to get away. It'll ruin the evening.

LonginesPrime · 01/07/2021 12:55

I’m so angry they they can’t be more flexible to allow us to watch just part of the England game in the quarter finals

You committed to plans for your parents' anniversary, and now you want to change them - why are you so angry at them? They've done nothing wrong!

If I were on the receiving end of your request, I'd feel insulted, mainly because you didn't care enough about the football to check when the quarter finals were being played (in case England got through) before booking the meal, but suddenly, the game is more important than honouring commitments you've already made.

So it sounds like a blatant excuse to cut the meal short because if the football really were that important to you, you'd have factored it in and checked the match schedules before booking the meal a week ago.

JudgeJ · 01/07/2021 13:00

@Lalliella

Record it ffs. And cancel the cheque.
Good luck with recording it, I'm not allowed to watch England play but I certainly know when/if they score by the noise locally! Many years ago when we lived abroad and got Match of the Day on Monday a friend determined not to know the score of the Cup Final and he managed it, the programme started at 8pm and the opening shot was the winning team with the trophy!
RaininSummer · 01/07/2021 13:16

I think you a very unreasonable and in your parents shoes would be quite pissed off with you. It's a bloody football game. Not sure if an earlier poster was joking but I would not be happy to go out to dinner and find the football was on in the venue.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 01/07/2021 13:25

@Terhou

but OP didn't say she'd rather watch the game, she said she'd rather do BOTH! what's wrong with wanting to do 2 things instead of one, if all it takes is a little flexibility?

I think the point is that, even with a 30 minute earlier start, everyone will be aware that OP and her husband are clock watching and itching to get away. It'll ruin the evening.

if it's ruined anyway then why bother at all?

I wonder if these are the same parents who swear that they would do anything for their children, they would betray their country and die for them - but no, can't rearrange a bloody meal

🤣
oh well

NeverForgetYourDreams · 01/07/2021 13:31

Postpone the meal and watch the footie.

Engerland Engerland Engerland

bendmeoverbackwards · 01/07/2021 13:46

OP you’re in the wrong here.

Your parents won’t be around forever but there will always be another football match to watch.

bendmeoverbackwards · 01/07/2021 13:50

How sad that family relationships play second fiddle to a football game.

I note that lack of pride to be English/British shown by some people seems to have been forgotten about now the football’s on. Where are all these people who hate England??

Deadpoet1 · 01/07/2021 14:12

My DH wouldn't be going as there's no way he'd miss the game ( we had an England game on screens at our wedding too) I wouldn't want to miss the game either. My parents would've cancelled the table and got a takeaway for everyone so we could watch together but we're all football fans.
I understand not everyone loves football and YNBU to want to eat 30 minutes earlier, especially if there's plenty of availability at the restaurant. I honestly don't see why it would be a problem. If your DH is now saying he'd rather not go then it's probably not going to be a very happy meal ( especially if England win and you miss it)

sweeneytoddsrazor · 01/07/2021 14:13

Ffs the whole point is the meal was booked last week. At that point unless OP was living under a rock they would have known the quarter finals take place this Friday and Saturday so they should have said we can't make that day not agree and then try to get things changed around.

ChloeCrocodile · 01/07/2021 14:19

How sad that family relationships play second fiddle to a football game.

In my family we care enough about each other to be flexible and make minor changes to accommodate things which are important to others. A 30 minute change to a dinner reservation to allow your child to do something which makes them happy is an absolute no brainer for me.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 01/07/2021 14:34

@ChloeCrocodile

How sad that family relationships play second fiddle to a football game.

In my family we care enough about each other to be flexible and make minor changes to accommodate things which are important to others. A 30 minute change to a dinner reservation to allow your child to do something which makes them happy is an absolute no brainer for me.

@ChloeCrocodile

same

OP & her DH either didn't realise it's this weekend or forgot or just didn't think England would play - so what? people fuck up.
I'm so tired I keep getting days & weeks mixed up. I have double booked stuff and then had to cancel or postpone things.
and we have so much on this next last few weeks before kids break up (4 birthday parties to start with, anyone?) that I'm hanging by a thread.

shit happens. not everyone is super organised. people are busy, distracted, forgetful.
but if your own family isn't willing to have your back and make changes when you drop the ball then who can?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/07/2021 15:15

I think the point is that, even with a 30 minute earlier start, everyone will be aware that OP and her husband are clock watching and itching to get away. It'll ruin the evening.

Exactly this. If it’s a celebration someone might fancy pudding or coffee or say “shall we have a liqueur/ another drink” etc

If someone is itching to get off, it’ll be more “oh, no thanks, let’s just get the bill shall we?” And it’s just not the same!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/07/2021 15:17

Oh btw I do like football! But as a pp has said, it’s just about honouring a commitment.

Original poster
CityMumma78 · 01/07/2021 15:18

Wow mumsnet is brutal Grin LOL
OK so a little more background - my husband and I work full time and have 3 very active kids so at the point of making arrangements the Euro fixtures didn’t cross our frazzled minds. The table which has been booked has a time limit and our parents will not want to meet for pre-meal or post-meal drinks so the dinner won’t be needlessly rushed as we have a time slot. I made the request to bring the booking forward by half an hour so I along with my husband and sons can enjoy England play.
My parents are quite self absorbed, stubborn and difficult and generally make zero effort with us or the kids and all family gatherings over the last 15 years without exception are always arranged and hosted by us, the meal on Saturday is the first thing they have ever arranged. Without going into details it’s very much a one sided relationship!
Thanks again for all your comments… some great, some interesting and some awful!

OP posts:
lastqueenofscotland · 01/07/2021 15:22

I LOVE football, have a season ticket, go and see a game any time I’m abroad etc, but I would miss a game for a special event. I can see why they’d be annoyed

AlecTrevelyan006 · 01/07/2021 15:36

The restaurant will likely be empty because everyone will be watching the footie so there won’t be much ambience…

ForeverAintEnough3 · 01/07/2021 15:38

Huge drip feed there @CityMumma78

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