Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband not been paid/lying to me.

111 replies

thenewduchessofhastings · 29/06/2021 20:35

You nest of vipers are usually great when someone is frustrated and struggling with a situation.

DH is paid on the 28th of each month.He's been paid on that date for the past 3 years.The bills especially the big ones are scheduled via DD on the 28th and 1st.

He's not been paid;it's the evening of the 29th.

The MD pays everyone via bank transfer;DH is the next senior member of staff.He knows what goes on with the finances/what's been paid/what's not.

I strongly suspect the company is owed money by clients and the reason DH hasn't been paid is because the money isn't there to pay him.Unfortunately the bank and the bills aren't going to care that the company can't pay him.

At present the joint account and my account are empty;I've not only had to empty my account to pay yesterday's bills,I've also had to use the money I've been given for my birthday by family too.

There won't be enough money there to pay the rest of bills on Thursday unless he's paid.If the direct debits are returned by the bank my credit score will also be affected.

So currently I'm skint,have had to hand over my birthday money,might have my credit score take a hit and won't have bills paid on Thursday and will have to go through the humiliating process of having to call companies if my DH ever gets paid to pay those missed bills.I feel this is very unreasonable and I have a right to pissed off.

I'm actually very stressed about the situation and lost my cool with my DH tonight.

The other reason I'm so angry is because I know my DH is lying to my face and he knows I know he's lying too.

He knows why he's not been paid but he's lying to me;he's so obviously when he lies,he becomes shifty,gets physically agitated,he hands don't stop moving,he won't look me in the face let alone meet my eye,he gives short flimsy answers,keeps changing his story and tries to change the subject.

If I press him he gets really agitated,gets angry,aggressive,raises his voice and will storm off to avoid having to actually tell me the truth.

Thé being lied to is just as bad as the position I'm currently in.

Quite frankly if we had a spare room I wouldn't be sharing a bed with him tonight I'm so annoyed.

OP posts:
LawnFever · 29/06/2021 20:37

What is he saying is happening? How is he planning to resolve it?

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 29/06/2021 20:37

What is he giving as the reason? Seems an odd thing to lie about.

Unless... he's lost his job and doesn't have the courage to tell you...

Starlightstarbright1 · 29/06/2021 20:39

Has he been sacked?

Palavah · 29/06/2021 20:40

Call the bank and arrange an overdraft - it's better than bouncing payments.

Clearly you need to have it out with him about what's going on, though.

Unanananana · 29/06/2021 20:41

Sounds like he has been sacked tbh.

cupsofcoffee · 29/06/2021 20:41

Are you sure he's still working?

lolacola77 · 29/06/2021 20:42

He's been sacked. Even if business was bad, he wouldn't have just not been paid without any discussion or warning! You're married ffs - talk to him and find out what the hell is going on!

sadmummy12345 · 29/06/2021 20:44

F

Original poster
thenewduchessofhastings · 29/06/2021 20:44

No not been sacked;he got a positive LFT yesterday and is waiting on the results of a PCR test so we're self isolating and his MD dropped his stuff on the doorstep today so he can WFH.

OP posts:
worriedandannoyed · 29/06/2021 20:44

As a precaution can you apply now for an overdraft (on the joint account or his office possible!) so at least your bills will be paid on Thursday?

SmokeyDevil · 29/06/2021 20:45

It does sound like he's lost his job. The business couldn't not pay its workers, unless it's a very shoddy business.

Youdoyoutoday · 29/06/2021 20:46

What is DH lying about though? Is it just not being paid or actually losing his job? Strange situation

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/06/2021 20:47

@thenewduchessofhastings

No not been sacked;he got a positive LFT yesterday and is waiting on the results of a PCR test so we're self isolating and his MD dropped his stuff on the doorstep today so he can WFH.
Did you hear him say that?
Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 29/06/2021 20:47

Is he scared of your reaction if he tells you the company is having cash flow issues?

Youdoyoutoday · 29/06/2021 20:48

Sorry just saw your update, just tell him you know he's lying and you need the truth to help fix it.

cupsofcoffee · 29/06/2021 20:48

@thenewduchessofhastings

No not been sacked;he got a positive LFT yesterday and is waiting on the results of a PCR test so we're self isolating and his MD dropped his stuff on the doorstep today so he can WFH.
Are you sure it's so he can WFH and not because he's been fired?
CopperBear · 29/06/2021 20:49

What reason has he given you for why he hasn't been paid?

Northernlurker · 29/06/2021 20:49

It doesn't sound like he's been sacked, it sounds like they are going bust. This happened to us 15 years ago. Company went bust mid month so no salary, no notice pay, no holiday pay. There is a government scheme you can claim from. It was very stressful to say the least.

Tohaveandtohold · 29/06/2021 20:50

Another one wondering why he’d lie.
What reason is he giving you. Maybe he has done something wrong like messed up an invoice and he has been told this will be deducted from his salary.
Or maybe he has some secret debts that the repayments has to be made.
I mean the bills are joint so he should be worried too so I don’t know why he’d be lying

Aquamarine1029 · 29/06/2021 20:51

If he hasn't been sacked, then what possible reason could it be that he hasn't been paid. You aren't being very clear.

Original poster
thenewduchessofhastings · 29/06/2021 20:51

The account the bills go out of doesn't have an option for an overdraft facility to be added.When we opened this account they informed us of this but I never thought we'd need one on it.I can't believe we're in this position.

And I don't think business is bad I think they've got too many companies who haven't paid up yet and there's a cash flow issue;a couple of months ago my DH use the savings we had for something and loaned it temporarily to the company for about a week.

OP posts:
Horst · 29/06/2021 20:51

Even if he had just been fired he would still be owed wages for the month worked.

Original poster
thenewduchessofhastings · 29/06/2021 20:52

@MrsTerryPratchett

I was in the room with him when he did the LFT and saw the results stick thingy.

OP posts:
Terminallysleepdeprived · 29/06/2021 20:53

Actually if it is a small company and he is senior/director then unfortunately this is quite a common practice. A friend who used to work for his dad as an ops director used to have the same issue. His dad would prioritise the main workforce and leave his son with nothing.

Strongly suggest your dh calls the bank tomorrow, explain the situation and asks for an emergency overdraft. Then your dh needs to speak to his boss about how they resolve this.

Jmaho · 29/06/2021 20:53

Do you have access to any other forms of credit. Credit card etc? If the dds bounce they may try again in a few days and only mark it as missed on your credit file if not paid within so many days