To feel like looking 'average' these days is bloody hard work?

[JustGiveMeGin]

Disclaimer: I had a similar thread in style and beauty when I wasn't feeling my best. I have definitely made peace with how I look and this is NOT a woe is me thread 🤣
To even look average I have to dye the greys out of my hair, have my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted (did I mention greys?) Remove hair from underarms, legs, bikini area. Spray tan couple of times a week, moisturise after every shower (daily). Wash, conditon and blow dry hair daily. Anti wrinkle face cream twice daily after cleansing. That's just the basics....I can and do go out without makeup bit I feel better with: cc cream, face powder, bronzer, blusher, eyebrow pencil, mascara and lipstick.
To me I feel like I should look like a fucking goddess after all that effort but sadly I still sit in the firmly average camp!
Does anyone get what I mean or have I finally gone off my rocker for good?

@Silvercatowner

Good grief it all sounds exhausting. I don't do any of that and feel fine about myself.

Doesn't fake tan just feel all sticky and generally yuk???

No.

*Looking average is hard work if you are comparing yourself against an unrealistic sample group, such as to be found on social media.

To get a more authentic idea of reality, better to go into a supermarket and have the full 3D experience of ordinary people under ordinary lighting conditions and with no filters.

I don't think you would feel you were falling so short of a perceived standard.*

Agree with this. What you see on social media and what you see in your own area is usually completely different. Plus, people choose who they follow on social media and it is usually people they like and/or aspire to be like and after awhile whomever those people are, the person choosing to follow sees them as the standard when they really aren’t.

You know the top layer of your skin Isco stanly wearing off, right? Moisturising it won’t do anything.
As someone with eczema and rosacea that has only been helped by the right combination of creams I have to refute this. A good moisturiser is actually life changing!

@Yepyes

I don't do ANY of that shit and I feel fine about myself.

I'm nothing special but I don't think any of that stuff makes a person look younger. I look much better after growing out the grey because I don't have the very ageing stripe after two weeks.

You need to work on your self esteem not your beauty routine.

Self esteem dont be daft, the OP just wants to look good

The thing I find is a full on routine is quite time consuming not too much expensive. I just don't have the time so this is mine.

Hair: highlights & balayage every 4/5 months. Root spray in between.

Eyebrows & eyelash: tint & shape maybe every 3 months or before an big event.

Pedicure: only during summer.

Facial: 1 every 6 months.

This is all pre covid. I've done none of this except for 1 haircut/colour.

I wash my hair every 2-3 days & don't blow dry as it's naturally wavy.

Hair removal: always shave underarms, only legs when need too & bikini when I remember but I am fair.

Fake tan: can hardly be bothered, some times use the St Tropez gradual tan stuff.

Moisture: hardly ever but find Khiels body stuff lasts a while.

Face: moisturise & serums aim for daily.

Make up: most days wear bronzer & blusher. Sometimes mascara.

[quote FlaminEckVera]@Sarahlou63

Gave myself a no. 5 buzz cut this morning. Job done.

99.9% of women will never do that. EVER.

Mostly because the vast, VAST majority, would not suit that look.[/quote]
I didn't think it would suit me, but my lockdown bleached bob had to go! I love it now.

I'm 58 in a couple of months and my hair is now a lovely salt and pepper and (what's left of it) is in lovely condition. Very average looks otherwise.

@stayathomer

You know the top layer of your skin Isco stanly wearing off, right? Moisturising it won’t do anything. As someone with eczema and rosacea that has only been helped by the right combination of creams I have to refute this. A good moisturiser is actually life changing!

That’s medical. Completely different

I don't have insta gram or anything like that...I wouldn't have a clue how to follow someone on social media. I do go to the supermarket and see other women there, I assume that's where I am getting my average from (out and about in general, obviously not just the supermarket!)
I think I said in my OP this isn't a woe is me thread but I guess that got a little bit lost on some people 🤷‍♀️

There arecso many people with hair extensions, fillers, botox and proper make up (contouring etc) who look perfect

It's interesting to hear that some people consider this look to be 'perfect'.

When I see someone with the above, I don't think they look 'perfect'... I think they look extremely made-up. It's always obvious, and it appears unnatural to me. I don't aspire to that look.

Instead I want to look natural and human - to me a perfect face is a natural one, with a healthy glow from being nourished and fit rather than from a tan.

So maybe it's a question of what you see as aspirational? The people who do very little in terms of a beauty regime are aspiring to something quite different. I spend a fair bit of time on keeping fit and eating well, but I don't even own any make-up.

Oh & I think I look good & like to look nice I just don't think nice equals heavy makeup, contouring, fillers etc.

OP I think you're talking to the wrong audience here. There seems to be a trend on MN where beauty regimes are looked down upon
I don't think MN is full of people looking down on beauty regimes.
I do think MN has a lot of women who are willing to challenge why some women put themselves through beauty regimes they don't enjoy, that make them feel crap about themselves, and challenge the idea that endless beauty regimes are essential for women to look nice/look average/feel good about themselves.

There's a big difference between doing something because you feel nice doing it, you enjoy the pampering etc and subjecting yourself to treatments and beauty regimes you don't enjoy purely because you think you're unattractive without it/require it to look passable

You know the top layer of your skin Isco stanly wearing off, right? Moisturising it won’t do anything.
There speaks someone who has no idea of the actual pain dry skin can cause!

[quote JustGiveMeGin]@Scaredycatmoo76 please elaborate!
I wouldn't say I don't enjoy it as such....like I said this was meant to be a lighthearted look at the efforts some of us put in vs the results we get!
I can shout from the hills that my self esteem is fine but I won't convince everyone I guess
With regards to how interesting I am as a person...I have friends, my own family and work colleagues that seem to enjoy my company, we always have plenty to talk about so I guess I must be okay on that score but who knows.[/quote]
Would be like throwing a grenade, trust me!

It's interesting to hear that some people consider this look to be 'perfect'.

When I see someone with the above, I don't think they look 'perfect'... I think they look extremely made-up. It's always obvious, and it appears unnatural to me. I don't aspire to that look.

I agree. I think it depends on where you live too and which social demographic you fall in. I know this sounds really snobby but to me, the Botox/fake tan/microbladed eyebrows/hair extension etc look is very..erm...chavvy (sorry, I can't think of a nicer word).

I am the same. I do all sorts but every day I still feel dumpy.
I have long hair which is easy to manage as I have it in bun most days but my grey roots appear too quickly.
I am worried about being mutton dressed as lamb but if I go down the relaxed route I may end up looking like a bag lady because I am getting on a bit.

I'm a ' stout ' woman now ( mid 50s)
I wore a summer dress once that my son said resembled a ' duvet cover ' !
I do have a few beauty treats now and again but it makes little difference to my looks to be honest. I've never been beautiful and never will now. C'est la vie ( or whatever)
I hear you op (although I'm sure your better looking than me. )

@Doublestar

It's interesting to hear that some people consider this look to be 'perfect'.

When I see someone with the above, I don't think they look 'perfect'... I think they look extremely made-up. It's always obvious, and it appears unnatural to me. I don't aspire to that look.

I agree. I think it depends on where you live too and which social demographic you fall in. I know this sounds really snobby but to me, the Botox/fake tan/microbladed eyebrows/hair extension etc look is very..erm...chavvy (sorry, I can't think of a nicer word).

Where you live probably does play a big part.

I live up north, in a rural area but relatively near a market town. The area is mixed WC/MC and I do see young women who are made up like that in town, but I also see plenty of people who just look natural.

I used to dye my hair and eyebrows & lashes, every 6 weeks. Put a st tropez on once once week after I exfoliated and moisturised my body. I had nails done every 2 weeks. Full face of make up every day. I felt that was my normal. When I bought a house and had children, I could afford.nor had the time for that level of self care. Afterwards I felt like a total wreck. When child no 2 arrived, I became used to my pale skin, roots and lack of make up. I've just bought some new clothes to cheer myself up, I will dye my lashes and brows tonight. I think its important to treat yourself but not to the level where its high maintenence.

I actually age is probably a big factor - young women now do far more in terms of grooming/make-up than I did in my teens and early twenties.

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand

There arecso many people with hair extensions, fillers, botox and proper make up (contouring etc) who look perfect

It's interesting to hear that some people consider this look to be 'perfect'.

When I see someone with the above, I don't think they look 'perfect'... I think they look extremely made-up. It's always obvious, and it appears unnatural to me. I don't aspire to that look.

Instead I want to look natural and human - to me a perfect face is a natural one, with a healthy glow from being nourished and fit rather than from a tan.

So maybe it's a question of what you see as aspirational? The people who do very little in terms of a beauty regime are aspiring to something quite different. I spend a fair bit of time on keeping fit and eating well, but I don't even own any make-up.

Agree. Each to their own but that supposed 'perfect' look is of no interest to me. I find humans attractive in all their supposed imperfections, I love body hair (on men and women), love people's natural smell, grey hairs, laughter lines - it's beautiful!

@cupsofcoffee

I moisturise feet every single day or they become hideous, and pedicure properly once a week

I've never once put moisturiser on my feet

I wonder if a lot of it is self-perpetuating in a way. So you moisturise, so your skin is used to it and dries out quicker, so you have to keep moisturising etc.

I inherited my mums feet. They crack and bleed at the sight of fresh air. Its awful!

I think the real issue is about what has become 'normal' levels of grooming for women these days. I feel and look like shite a lot of the time. I am a widowed single parent approaching 50, money, time and lock down has hugely impacted on my 'self care'. However things have gone beyond a nice haircut and make-up.

I also work with young people and also have a lot of young team members. Looking back I was attractive at their age and looked after myself. However, now it is crazy. I remember a colleague years ago joking we just did not have so many grooming products. It is off the scale now. I work with mums in their 20s who feel the need to have lip fillers, nails, teeth and tanning etc who really cannot afford it. Young team members who are naturally very attractive are the same. It is just so normal. I feel very old but it scares me that we seem to be going backwards and my own opinion is they often look a lot older and very 'false'.

I have noticed that my make up needs to be a bit darker now.Even though I have fair skin ,my old translucent powder, and pale blusher have now made way for a medium powder ,and more pinky blusher .Seems to work a bit better now ! I am a bit older than you and agree its v hard work!

I've found one of the most liberating things about getting older has been no longer giving a s**t about any of that stuff. So for me, if anything looking average is now much easier, but my opinion of average has adjusted. I shave my legs and underarms when necessary, put a tiny bit of makeup on for work (so I don't look so exhausted, because without it I just do, probably because I am!), wash my hair a few times a week, shower every day, brush my teeth, and that's it. I don't do my bikini line unless I'm in a swimming costume (rarely), I never fake tan, never do anything to my eye brows or eyelashes bar mascara, don't wear makeup apart from a bit of concealer, powder and mascara. I don't have the time in my life for all that grooming, and I don't think it is necessary to look smart and presentable at all.

Well I do none of those things. I shower and brush my teeth and I brush my hair. That's it.
How fucking awful must I look?!
I have a whole face covered in freckles so make up looks stupid on me. I used to wear mascara but I've given up on that now too.
I dread to think what people must think of me!

Me too!

I feel above average inside my head - that’s all that matters.