To feel like looking 'average' these days is bloody hard work?

[JustGiveMeGin]

Disclaimer: I had a similar thread in style and beauty when I wasn't feeling my best. I have definitely made peace with how I look and this is NOT a woe is me thread 🤣
To even look average I have to dye the greys out of my hair, have my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted (did I mention greys?) Remove hair from underarms, legs, bikini area. Spray tan couple of times a week, moisturise after every shower (daily). Wash, conditon and blow dry hair daily. Anti wrinkle face cream twice daily after cleansing. That's just the basics....I can and do go out without makeup bit I feel better with: cc cream, face powder, bronzer, blusher, eyebrow pencil, mascara and lipstick.
To me I feel like I should look like a fucking goddess after all that effort but sadly I still sit in the firmly average camp!
Does anyone get what I mean or have I finally gone off my rocker for good?

I guess it depends on what you call average.

Hair removal is a 5 min job, once a week.
You don't need to wash hair and blow dry every day, and you could go grey gracefully.
I suppose you'd look average doing none of this, but if it makes you feel better to go the whole mile, then you should do it.
But I bet you look far more than average
I didn't see your other thread, but so glad you confidence has improved.

I have a beautiful daughter. She is stunningly beautiful even if I say so myself, but she really is. I wish I could show you a photo and you would agree. She is also a nice girl to boot but she like all her peers is high maintenance.
When we go out together people look at her. It's quite normal for this to happen, and has been since she was a little girl. We have been approached by people looking for models etc when we are shopping but we have never done anything about it as she is not interested.

She could no nothing and would still be perfect but she... and in no particular order......

Fake tans regularly despite being of mixed race :) It's a thing :) :)
Has fake eyelashes
Has gel nails both hands and feet and has regular pedicures/manicures
Never has body hair...........
Moisturises everywhere
Has her hair done regularly. Gets highlights in summer
Looks after her skin almost clinically
Wears make up even on sunny days when it doesn't seem necessary
Always looks immaculate whatever she is wearing paying attention to colour and style.

She is not fussy or vain. It's just what she does in order to feel and look her best.

I on the other hand have given in to the grey and am a curly girl these days. I cut my own hair too.
I get rid of body hair only when I feel like it or am off on holiday and I haven''t had a holiday since 1943 :)
I only wear make-up if I am going somewhere other than the usual - dog walking does not require lipstick :) Or shopping either come to think of it
What I do is to look after my skin well and try to dress appropriately using colour to enhance my own skin colour
I also look after my nails and feet. I rarely wear nail varnish.
I don't want to look amazing, this would not be possible anyway, I simply want to look like everyone else so people do not stare for the wrong reasons

[quote JustGiveMeGin]@Scaredycatmoo76 please elaborate!
I wouldn't say I don't enjoy it as such....like I said this was meant to be a lighthearted look at the efforts some of us put in vs the results we get!
I can shout from the hills that my self esteem is fine but I won't convince everyone I guess
With regards to how interesting I am as a person...I have friends, my own family and work colleagues that seem to enjoy my company, we always have plenty to talk about so I guess I must be okay on that score but who knows.[/quote]
This isn't intended to be a dig, but if your self-esteem was fine you wouldn't need to do all of that just to feel 'average'.

You're not doing it because you enjoy it, you're doing it as a chore because you feel you aren't 'half-decent' without it.

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand

Wow!

I'm 40, and out of your list I do the following:

• occasionally remove hair from legs and underarms; nothing more than the odd trim for my bikini

• take regular showers
• cleanse, acid tone and moisturise (plus SPF if going out as I'm fair skinned)
• brush my hair

The trick is to realise that everything beyond basic cleanliness/hygiene is optional. A massive industry spends ££££s trying to convince you that you are hideous so that you'll spend money on this crap, but it's all bollocks!

You almost certainly look fine without the regular spray tan and lashings of makeup.

Completely agree

I'm lucky enough to have above average looks facially, but my body is ugly because I'm fat.

No amount of hair dye, makeup or fake tan can accommodate THAT level of social faux pas. Still, all the people I have Zoom calls with from the neck up think I'm hot.

What are you on about?
I am distinctly average-looking, and the only grooming thing on your list I normally do is the moisturising. Bath daily, obviously, and wash hair twice a week. I think overly-plucked, shaved and tinted people look a bit plastic, to be honest. But I move in fairly down-to-earth circles.

I don't do most of what you do.

What I have found interesting is how many women went grey over lockdown, as they stopped dying it. I was amazed how many were dying their hair!
I am 54 and probably lucky that I only have a few stray greys still.

But most of those women, having been forced to go grey, have stayed grey, and they look great!

[quote JustGiveMeGin]@Scaredycatmoo76 please elaborate!
I wouldn't say I don't enjoy it as such....like I said this was meant to be a lighthearted look at the efforts some of us put in vs the results we get!
I can shout from the hills that my self esteem is fine but I won't convince everyone I guess
With regards to how interesting I am as a person...I have friends, my own family and work colleagues that seem to enjoy my company, we always have plenty to talk about so I guess I must be okay on that score but who knows.[/quote]
you sound lovely x

Eh, out of your list I only shave (not daily), shower daily, wash my hair a couple of times a week and chuck some moisturizer on my face.

As long as I'm hygienic and don't make the children cry Idgaf, tbh.

I wouldn't give it too much headspace really. Nobody else actually thinks much either way about what you look like ime.

I know what you mean. I feel like I’m running to stand still these days.

Thats quite a lot of intense grooming youre doing there, especially if you still arent even that pleased with the results.

The trick is to realise that everything beyond basic cleanliness/hygiene is optional. A massive industry spends ££££s trying to convince you that you are hideous so that you'll spend money on this crap, but it's all bollocks!
I totally agree with all of this.

I wear mascara because I like how I look in it, but it isn't required to look half decent. People have been advertised at and socialised socialised think they not look OK if they don't wear mascara.
If people enjoy dying their hair, me included, then that's great, but it isn't required to look average or passable.

Nobody needs a spray tan to look average. The industry has done a number on women by telling us that a tan is healthy, it's good to have a glow, you'll feel happier with a tan, your clothes will look better with a tan, others will think you look prettier with a tan etc.

It's all about an industry making money out of women's insecurities.

OP I think you're talking to the wrong audience here. There seems to be a trend on MN where beauty regimes are looked down upon.

For what it's worth I do a fair few of the same things as you and yes, I'd say I look only average.
I have a colleague who doesn't wear make up and only washes her hair twice a week. That's because she's beautiful, with beautiful olive skin and thick lovely hair. I don't have those genes, so I have to put in some effort.

If I don't wash and style my hair it looks truly awful. I choose to only wash it on alternate days, but it does look shit on non wash day (and before anyone suggests training it by washing it less often, I did that during lockdown). Literally a whole year of only washing it every three days and literally a whole year of greasy gross hair

Not gonna lie, if you'd drop the fake tan routine you'd most likely look better! No one likes the fake tan look so if it's such a hassle - don't.

Moisturising your whole body after showers is also not "basic" - neither is washing, conditioning and blow drying your hair daily.

So much of this is self inflicted based on your own standards - no one else gives a damn

Try having a genetic college deficiency I'm 33 and my neck looks like a saggy ball-sack.

Tbf moisturising is basic for a lot of people.

To even look average I have to dye the greys out of my hair,

I do the roots every 6 weeks and a full head maybe twice a year.

have my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted (did I mention greys?)

Never done that. I'm ginger and grey. People can deal with it.

Remove hair from underarms, legs, bikini area.

I may or may not do my legs and underarms depending on if I CBA. Never do bikini line. I don't wear bikinis and my partner never comments.

Spray tan couple of times a week

Gott in himmel no. Ginger, pale, deal with it. I'm not painting my legs orange to go with my hair.

moisturise after every shower (daily). Wash, conditon and blow dry hair daily.

Shower daily, don't bother moisturising. Wash my hair maybe 2x a week. Don't even possess a hair dryer.

Anti wrinkle face cream twice daily after cleansing. That's just the basics....I can and do go out without makeup bit I feel better with: cc cream, face powder, bronzer, blusher, eyebrow pencil, mascara and lipstick.

Don't even possess any of that stuff. I put a mix of shea butter, aloe vera and olive oil on my hair, since it's very dry, and then use some of that as a face moisturiser.

I'm nearly 50. I can look very stylish, or I can look like a car park attendant at a rained off Glastonbury. I don't really care. What's important to me is I'm fit and healthy.

@Ellpellwood

Nobody notices whether you fake tan or not. Nobody. Ever. I promise.

Not true. People notice.

Anyway, it's not necessary to have a spray tan all the time. I use the M&S drops for the face in my moisturiser and wear clothes on the rest of my body. Much simpler.
I might do a spray tan for a special occasion, but not all the time.

I don’t know as I’m not someone who wants to look average. I don’t wear make up, I wear clothes that are usually brightly coloured or quirky,I shave my arm pits when I can be bothered, dye my hair when I feel like it (at the moment it purple), I’ve never plucked my eye brows or used fake tan. I wouldn’t want to look like everyone else, it sounds like way too much effort to me anyway 🤣

It sounds like your idea of average is very different to my idea of average.

Same. I always thought I was a bit vain but I hardly ever spray tan or blow dry even as a looks obsessed teen/young adult.

What do people with high maintenance beauty regimes think of women who don’t wear make up etc? I’d love to know!

I do similar to you OP, my hair needs washed every day and dried and straightened to look smart at work- I’ll leave it to dry and put it up in summer if I’m not working. If I don’t wash my hair it goes a fantastic combination of frizzy and greasy and really does look awful.
Those saying pale legs look fine- yes, if you have smooth pale skin it looks great. If you have very translucent veiny skin that bruises if you look at it, not so much. I’m not great with fake tanning so usually don’t show my legs, but trying some new ones this summer as I’d love to wear shorts more.
I prob wear similar make up to you most days but it takes literally 2 minutes to apply it and makes me look/feel much more rested and awake.

I love the assumption that op is maintaining bright orange skin!
Fake tans are nothing like the crap from the 80’s these days.
if someone is tango-ish it is user error.
This is a funny thread - it’s like a race to prove how little some of you do!

" I meant novody ever looks at a woman and thinks she'd look so much better if she was orange-r."

There is evidence that people perceive less pale people as more attractive though. I remember it being shown in this programme: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0791nhx

And fake tan is probably a healthier option than a real tan. Normal spray tan doesn't look that orange - I'm not sure how Trump gets to be that colour.

Also… some of you sound quite cross too!