To feel like looking 'average' these days is bloody hard work?

[JustGiveMeGin]

Disclaimer: I had a similar thread in style and beauty when I wasn't feeling my best. I have definitely made peace with how I look and this is NOT a woe is me thread 🤣
To even look average I have to dye the greys out of my hair, have my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted (did I mention greys?) Remove hair from underarms, legs, bikini area. Spray tan couple of times a week, moisturise after every shower (daily). Wash, conditon and blow dry hair daily. Anti wrinkle face cream twice daily after cleansing. That's just the basics....I can and do go out without makeup bit I feel better with: cc cream, face powder, bronzer, blusher, eyebrow pencil, mascara and lipstick.
To me I feel like I should look like a fucking goddess after all that effort but sadly I still sit in the firmly average camp!
Does anyone get what I mean or have I finally gone off my rocker for good?

Flipping heck! I don’t do anything beyond showering and brushing my hair! Mind you, even when I tried to make an effort I still looked unattractive so I just gave up - being single helps with that...

I do about the same amount of self-maintenance as my husband.

Keep hair and skin reasonably clean.
I shave underarms and legs, he shaves his face.
We both use moisturiser on our faces occasionally.

That's about it. I'd say we both look average-to-OK.

The standards set for women just get more and more ridiculous - I blame porn and women's magazines - most men I see in the street can't even be bothered to wash, comb their hair or put on clean clothes - women need to all calm down with this oppressive nonsense

2 x showers a day, hair washed and blow-dried daily, have embraced the grey, its a lovely colour. Shave pits and bits regular. Face cream and moisturise daily after shower. Brows every 8 weeks, haircut every 4! Make up never, it makes me feel grubby

@AuntMargo

2 x showers a day, hair washed and blow-dried daily, have embraced the grey, its a lovely colour. Shave pits and bits regular. Face cream and moisturise daily after shower. Brows every 8 weeks, haircut every 4! Make up never, it makes me feel grubby

At least OP doesn't waste as much water as you.

@Mamanyt exactly
Off to NC after this but this is me. In BOTH photos. One is shit light, no makeup and hair that should have been washed, the other is makeup, hair, and a ring light
Ignore the ridiculous pout, I was proving a point to someone when I took the pic!

Have you read Nora Ephron 'On Maintenance' OP?

www.oprah.com/spirit/nora-ephron-on-maintenance-remembering-nora-ephron

Brilliant!

All that work is not average for me! I shower, wash and condition my hair, shave occasionally when I gross myself out and that's it! Don't worry OP, I guarantee standing next to me will raise you to Godess standard

I don't find it that hard but I don't wear any make or fake tan. I do mosturise my skin, keep body hair tidy and wax/shave only when my legs are on show. Mainly during summer. I think I look OK.
My hair is just starting going grey ( lucky genes I am 51) and I am considering if I will colour it. So all my routine is done at home after shower and before bed. But I know that depending on your job you might feel more pressurised to wear make up and that would be hard for me. The whole applying and taking make up off everyday is a pain.

Perhaps, starting to actually like yourself for who you are. See the beauty of who you are and what you do. Not worrying about looking a certain way. I am not even sure what you want to achieve. Own who you are and rock whatever you do.

@Lweji

I would still wear make up and tan even if I was on a desert island as I like the way look with it on.

I find that very hard to believe, if there was nobody there to see you, or for you to compare yourself with.
If you lived in a society where tanned skin was frowned upon, you wouldn't be having any fake or real tan. You'd be proud of your white skin.
And if you lived in a society where only men wore make up, and it was frowned upon on women, I very much doubt you'd be wearing any.
And you'd proclaim that is how you liked it, your choice, and your identity.

But we don't live in those societies do we 😒 what a pointless argument. Why do you find it hard to believe? I like that look for me, so I would continue that look for me. I always feel that the underlying tone of women bashing and belittling other women for enjoyment and effort in their appearance is really patronising and offensive. People enjoy spending money on things they get pleasure from. Some get pleasure from beauty products and routines. What's the issue. The OP states it was a light hearted thread. Some may be happy being hairy and make up free and that's great but it's not for me

Wow! I daily shower, clean my teeth, moisturise my face and legs, and wash my hair once or twice a week and shave my armpits and legs. That's it, and that's all I've done for most of my life. I can't be faffed with the rest of it. Honestly OP, if you don't want to do all that stuff then don't. People care about what others look like far less than you think - and anyway, who cares what others think.

[quote PawsQueen]@Mamanyt exactly
Off to NC after this but this is me. In BOTH photos. One is shit light, no makeup and hair that should have been washed, the other is makeup, hair, and a ring light
Ignore the ridiculous pout, I was proving a point to someone when I took the pic! [/quote]
What point are you making? You look much, much better in the non-made up photo. Like an actual person I'd enjoy spending time with.

@Yepyes that what you see in magazines etc doesn't match how people look in RL but I'm a real person in both and I like being able to swap between made up/hair done and not
I love wearing makeup and it's part of my job so it's fun seeing how hair, makeup and lighting can change stuff but it's all manipulated

I was just about to say the same as Yepyes. I much prefer the non-made up you,

I guess my point is I'm both! It's possibly not a photo that people would prefer as such but I was paid to wear that specific makeup/style, same with other images
(My dad is always "I don't like that one" and I'm "dad, it's not designed for you to like it)

Ultimately the only person who cares is you. If you genuinely enjoy doing it all then fair enough, but if you are doing it because you're worried what others think, don't bother because they don't actually care.

Oh and read the book 'More than a body', it'll change your life.

Same as you OP and I look average/clean!

Im average and paler than a ghost and dont do any of that stuff - If I did I certainly think I would be above average because no one I know does stuff like that just as 'average'.

Certainly never suffered for not doing that, people dont recoil in horror and plenty of men have been interested in me over the years.

But my appearance is part of me and I have observed being treated very differently depending on how I present myself. Not so much by family but even them a little bit. Aesthetics is deeply routed in our subconscious somehow.

Yes, as someone who's been obese and not obese, I know we get treated differently because of how we look. I still prefer the not giving a fuck option.

I'm not crazily high-maintenance by any stretch but the stuff that I do do (make up, hair straightened, legs and arms shaved, clean, moisturised etc) leaves me looking distinctly average.

Crucially, though, I think some people can get away with doing a lot less than me to look 'average' (I mean, some lucky fucks get away with doing a lot less and look bloody amazing. But I'm going to ignore those fuckers people for now ), so the people on this thread that are saying 'I don't know why you do that much, I don't' probably don't NEED to do that much to look vaguely acceptable.

@SixesAndEights, well, I just think that knowledge can be power. I know I can alter my looks to my choosing if I so wish and how. All I do is use that knowledge occasionally to my advantage.

Part of cultivating a low effort routine is paying attention to fitness and diet. It improves skin, muscle tone, strength, posture, mobility and makes a healthy weight maintainable. It helps with mental health and confidence too.

Christ alive @CheeseIsATypeOfMeat calm down! I said for me, spending time making myself feel good, is self-love. I couldn't really give a fuck what anyone else (or their dd) does to feel happy.

If you'd stopped over reacting for a moment and read my post properly, you'd notice I am a full time carer for my disabled son.

For many years I got no sleep and life was very hard. I now make an effort to spend time on myself because I can't have a fucking job, I can't afford to get my hair cut and coloured at the hairdressers and it is the one thing I get to do for myself, hence the self love.

You should be ashamed of yourself calling me a 'nasty woman'.

And the other poster who accused me of promoting eating disorders in young girls...ffs.

How bloody rude.