To feel like looking 'average' these days is bloody hard work?

[JustGiveMeGin]

Disclaimer: I had a similar thread in style and beauty when I wasn't feeling my best. I have definitely made peace with how I look and this is NOT a woe is me thread 🤣
To even look average I have to dye the greys out of my hair, have my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted (did I mention greys?) Remove hair from underarms, legs, bikini area. Spray tan couple of times a week, moisturise after every shower (daily). Wash, conditon and blow dry hair daily. Anti wrinkle face cream twice daily after cleansing. That's just the basics....I can and do go out without makeup bit I feel better with: cc cream, face powder, bronzer, blusher, eyebrow pencil, mascara and lipstick.
To me I feel like I should look like a fucking goddess after all that effort but sadly I still sit in the firmly average camp!
Does anyone get what I mean or have I finally gone off my rocker for good?

@Classicbrunette yay! Someone that agrees with me! Although I believe each to their own but if it helps it helps

@Classicbrunette

Cor this thread has the potential for getting heated.. It depends on so many factors, where you’re from, where you now live, how you feel about yourself, needs of your feet, hands, skin, hair, weather you enjoy pampering yourself or not.

I worked in the beauty industry, so I’m so used to applying products and working with women who loved using them. So to me creams and makeup are the norm, and I think (tin hat on head now) all women look better with makeup. And I would go as far to say that those that don’t bother doing anything, it looks like you’ve just crawled out of bed, and I can’t stand that look unless you are naturally very beautiful then you’d probably get away with it.

So op, I bet you do look better than you think, don’t stop, don’t let yourself go, 💐

Oh dear god...

I just feel sorry for you to be honest

Just my opinion, but you crack on 😁

Classicbrunette
Do you ever stop to wonder whether being in the beauty industry has warped your view of what just rolled out of bed looks like, or whether you're so used to seeing lots of fakery/additional polish to create an impossible ideal that it's distorted your view of what normal human women look like?

When you say about doing nothing only being good look on people who are naturally beautiful, what do you mean by that? Perfectly normal women, or the rare woman who happens to be the walking vision of the beauty standards your industry have decided other women must aspire to and conform to?

Most men manage to get by without using fake tan & make up & looking "natural".

all women look better with makeup. And I would go as far to say that those that don’t bother doing anything, it looks like you’ve just crawled out of bed, and I can’t stand that look unless you are naturally very beautiful then you’d probably get away with it.

Whether I look better or not, I still have a PhD. I can still ride a fit hunt horse and lead another alongside, in walk, trot and canter. I can sing in a choir, play musical instruments, write publishable articles. I cannot imagine a group of men having a conversation in which they discuss whether or not they should be spending hours a day on a beauty routine. Yes, sure, men are under some pressure regarding their appearance. But there just is no equivalent to this conversation.

Can you imagine how freeing it would be not to be preoccupied with this stuff all the time? How much time and energy would you have to do other things if this wasn't taking up your head space? My OH's daughter is often distraught because of the way she is judged for her appearance. I spend a lot of time reassuring her that she is so much more than how she looks. Yes, she looks lovely and yes if she wants to she can spend time on hair, makeup and clothes. But she is much, much more than her appearance. We all are.

@Classicbrunette

Cor this thread has the potential for getting heated.. It depends on so many factors, where you’re from, where you now live, how you feel about yourself, needs of your feet, hands, skin, hair, weather you enjoy pampering yourself or not.

I worked in the beauty industry, so I’m so used to applying products and working with women who loved using them. So to me creams and makeup are the norm, and I think (tin hat on head now) all women look better with makeup. And I would go as far to say that those that don’t bother doing anything, it looks like you’ve just crawled out of bed, and I can’t stand that look unless you are naturally very beautiful then you’d probably get away with it.

So op, I bet you do look better than you think, don’t stop, don’t let yourself go, 💐

What a sad view of the world.

I'm glad I don't place that much importance on something so superficial :)

Interesting question Lolasmiles. I mean just take some pride in yourself, comb your hair, do something about the spotty skin, or the disgusting manky dirty toe nails that stick out of those god awful sandles, you don’t have to be polished or create yourself into a Barbara Cartland but just remember that others have to look at you all day.

but just remember that others have to look at you all day.

Say what now?

And having a PHD or managing to do multiple interesting things has nothing to do with also looking good. That’s not what the thread is about.

@JustGiveMeGin, perhaps you’re in a rut?
Have you tried a different style (clothing/haircut)?

And having a PHD or managing to do multiple interesting things has nothing to do with also looking good. That’s not what the thread is about.

You're missing the point. I find it rather sad that this thread is entirely about women's efforts to look good when we are capable of so much more. Sure it's fine if that's what you want. But women don't have to focus entirely on their appearance - they can think about what they can achieve that goes well beyond their appearance.

Interesting question Lolasmiles. I mean just take some pride in yourself, comb your hair, do something about the spotty skin, or the disgusting manky dirty toe nails that stick out of those god awful sandles, you don’t have to be polished or create yourself into a Barbara Cartland but just remember that others have to look at you all day
Someone I know was on roacutane for their spots. They had to be monitored regularly for it. In the end it wasn't worth the ups and downs. Their skin cleared up over time. Based on your attitude she's a mess and other people are subjected to her spotty skin. She needed to take more pride in her appearance.

Girls with that attitude kicked her self esteem into the floor and made her feel self conscious.

It's sad that there's women out there who want to promote ideals that are based on a fantasy of what women should look like, and not content with signing themselves up to that standard, they seek to belittle others who don't conform. This standard is also, interestingly, based largely on what men find attractive, so what we have is a group of women telling other women they need to work a bit harder to look hot for men (but it will be dressed up in the name of empowerment, without a hint of irony that women claiming female empowerment kick other women down for not looking a certain way).

Women are not objects for others to stare at, rate, or judge based on whether they uphold some narrow beauty standard that a whole industry makes millions of pounds a year promoting.

I had a spray tan done before going on holiday once, but wasn’t that impressed. Use gradual tanning lotion when I can be arsed. Hair cut and colour every six weeks. Wash, blow dry once a week. Shower every day, anti wrinkle cream twice daily. Rarely get my nails or eyebrows done. Don’t wear makeup. Don’t shave legs or pits unless going to gym/swimming. Quite happy with how I look really.

But we are capable of looking good whilst we can do so much more. It takes 5 minutes to look decent with practice.

Oh I forgot - do paint my toenails in summer as I wear sandals a lot.

I actually think it's sad that women on here believe that because I make an effort with my appearance there is nothing else to me.
Apparently I mustn't have had any time to cultivate a personality.

LolaSmiles at least the girl tried to do something about her spots. Acne is something that’s hard to control, it’s often something that one grows out of, I know from personal experience.

They're probably just jellusssss OP

No JustGiveMeGin women can have it all 😁

LolaSmiles at least the girl tried to do something about her spots. Acne is something that’s hard to control, it’s often something that one grows out of, I know from personal experience.
She had to because her doctor agreed it was a big issue.
Unfortunately enough girls of her age had similar attitudes to you about people needing to sort their faces out, do something to look better for everyone else's benefit etc that her self esteem was ruined for a while.

I wouldn't be surprised if many of the girls who had unpleasant attitudes also had mums at home who were obsessed with their looks, talking about how awful and disgusting their single pimple is, agonising over whether their skin is the right mix of flawless and radiant, and generally making it quite clear to their daughters that women must look a certain way at all times in order to be acceptable.

@Classicbrunette

Out of curiosity, do men look like they’ve just crawled out of bed without styled hair and a full face of makeup? Or is it just women?

I know what you mean OP. But recently I've just accepted me.

I embrace my Celtic pale skin, my wild Auburn locks. I shower daily, blow dry my hair, I wear some mascara but not much more on a day to day basis.

To be honest though I haven't got the money time or patience so I had to accept it 😂

I feel you are getting a hard time op.

I do too spend time and money on my appearance and look average for it.

I've been cursed with thick frizzy hair that needs washed daily and dried then straightened too.

I could never just get up and go!

I also spend ages doing my teeth daily, brushing, flossing, water flosser etc yet my teeth look average.

I dye my hair, eye brows and lashes myself.

I shave daily too and paint my nails a few times a week. I also put on moisturiser all over my body every night.

It's spread out so doesn't feel a lot but I do all these things for me to feel comfortable in who I am.

I am also a professional and work full time, I have children, I have hobbies and a full social life.

Some people are lucky and have easy to manage hair or nice features naturally and others like me need tweaks.

Kanola would you go out with a man who smelled and never changed his clothes ?