To feel like looking 'average' these days is bloody hard work?

[JustGiveMeGin]

Disclaimer: I had a similar thread in style and beauty when I wasn't feeling my best. I have definitely made peace with how I look and this is NOT a woe is me thread 🤣
To even look average I have to dye the greys out of my hair, have my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted (did I mention greys?) Remove hair from underarms, legs, bikini area. Spray tan couple of times a week, moisturise after every shower (daily). Wash, conditon and blow dry hair daily. Anti wrinkle face cream twice daily after cleansing. That's just the basics....I can and do go out without makeup bit I feel better with: cc cream, face powder, bronzer, blusher, eyebrow pencil, mascara and lipstick.
To me I feel like I should look like a fucking goddess after all that effort but sadly I still sit in the firmly average camp!
Does anyone get what I mean or have I finally gone off my rocker for good?

There's a big difference between doing something because you feel nice doing it, you enjoy the pampering etc and subjecting yourself to treatments and beauty regimes you don't enjoy purely because you think you're unattractive without it/require it to look passable

Yep. "Oh I need fake tan. No, no you don't.

‘Maybe because they might prefer the feel of their bikini line done.
I shave everything every day, take me 10 mins in the bath and it's only for me as I cannot stand the feel of hair or stubble.
Doesn't make me ridiculous or stupid’

But this is a thread about trying to look average not about how you feel.

@felulageller to be fair I've had horses all my life and still put makeup/SPF/perfume on to muck out and ride! Habit I guess
Stuff like fake tan/false nails/waxing I've never done but makeup is a huge thing for me because it's like a hobby as well

Oh and take selfies of different pared down looks. I have found it really helps me decide what makeup looks best on me and has encouraged me to pare my makeup right down when I see a comparison side by side.

Yeah I dont do all that. I'm probably pretty average. I dont tan (I'm pale), I don't wear make up, I dont dye over my grey hair (I have quite a few and am in my 30s), font tiny lashes or brows. I shave the bits that might be on show and pluck hair out my chin but that's about it! Dont know how anyone can be arsed to do more really

Regards tanning I think it makes a difference with what you like wearing. I am very fair and tend to cover up a bit to save on sunscreen which I find a faff. So a higher neck, trousers, jeans or longer dresses and skirts, and longer short sleeves rather than strappy tops. I find clothes like this cooler and also acres of pale skin which is prone to sensitivity and blotches is not exposed. And as it happens there are plenty of fashionable choices that fit my brief.

Without meaning any offence some people have to work harder to look ‘average’. I know people who don’t do any of the stuff you do but look incredible all of them time. But I also know people who everyday wear hair extensions, fake eyelashes, lots of make up, have Botox etc to look good.
I always feel more sorry for those that make a big effort as they can’t just nip to the shops with no make up on as they’d look completely different and they must be insecure with how they look naturally which is a shame.

@toocold54 I think you get what I mean, there are the naturally blessed and then there are those of us that choose to try and improve what we have.

@JustGiveMeGin, I would really suggest trying selfies of a pared down look. You might like the result!

Know what you mean, I look awful if I don't "do" my hair, a bit of make up etc whereas other people I know my age just have better colouring / skin

"Not gonna lie, if you'd drop the fake tan routine you'd most likely look better! No one likes the fake tan look so if it's such a hassle - don't."

You haven't even seen her so you can't say this. And you probably haven't gone through life fielding questions about whether you're ill or tired because you're so pale.

"As someone with eczema and rosacea that has only been helped by the right combination of creams I have to refute this. A good moisturiser is actually life changing!

That’s medical. Completely different"

No, not completely different. The KP (red spots) that loads of people get on their arms and legs can be considered a form of eczema. What is good for eczema is quite often also good for dry skin. People with eczema etc. are also human, not a different species.

"I inherited my mums feet. They crack and bleed at the sight of fresh air. Its awful!"

I don't walk 'properly' so I get extremely hard skin on my feet. I've only had one medical pedicure and that was so painful, I never went back. Putting cream on my feet is the least I can do!

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand

There arecso many people with hair extensions, fillers, botox and proper make up (contouring etc) who look perfect

It's interesting to hear that some people consider this look to be 'perfect'.

When I see someone with the above, I don't think they look 'perfect'... I think they look extremely made-up. It's always obvious, and it appears unnatural to me. I don't aspire to that look.

Instead I want to look natural and human - to me a perfect face is a natural one, with a healthy glow from being nourished and fit rather than from a tan.

So maybe it's a question of what you see as aspirational? The people who do very little in terms of a beauty regime are aspiring to something quite different. I spend a fair bit of time on keeping fit and eating well, but I don't even own any make-up.

I think this is an even worse 'ideal'. You're basically saying women should be beautiful, but it should be natural. Something even harder to aspire to! It's a bit like those people who say they like thin women, but not those who avoid big meals.

And you probably haven't gone through life fielding questions about whether you're ill or tired because you're so pale.

Well I'm ginger. I'm more blue than white at times. I don't GAF though. 200 years ago it was considered vulgar to be tanned, because it meant you had to work outdoors and so were poor. Oddly we started to think tanned skin looked healthy when x-rays were discovered and before their negative effects were understood, and their tanning effect was praised. I've spent a lifetime being mocked for being pale. I'll remain pale though. I don't see why I should change just because some very narrow minded and frankly stupid people have an opinion on how they think I should look.

Missing the point here but shouldn't a spray tan last longer than needing two a week?

"I used to work in the health & beauty business and you really shouldn't wash your hair everyday, it strips all the good stuff from your hair."

It's different for people with very greasy hair.

Missing the point here but shouldn't a spray tan last longer than needing two a week?

For that, you could just wipe teabags over your legs.

"Well I'm ginger. I'm more blue than white at times. I don't GAF though. 200 years ago it was considered vulgar to be tanned, because it meant you had to work outdoors and so were poor."

Yes, and this is still the case in some poor countries now, but totally irrelevant to OP. As I mentioned earlier, there is research evidence that tanned people are considered more attractive so it's not in OP's head.
As you know yourself, there is even some stigma around being pale, probably because we get paler when we're ill. It's silly to have to feel bad about being very white when living in a country where the natives are very white, but that is they way it is.
Of course there are some people who really suit the pale look, that's a different thing.

I use fake tan drops on my face because I have permanent and genetic dark circles. The fake tan helps a little bit to stop the 'are you tired?' questions though not completely.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Missing the point here but shouldn't a spray tan last longer than needing two a week?

How long do you think it should last? The reason why I would only do a spray tan for a special occasion is because it looks awful while fading off and that does happen after just a few days.

@BertramLacey

And you probably haven't gone through life fielding questions about whether you're ill or tired because you're so pale.

Well I'm ginger. I'm more blue than white at times. I don't GAF though. 200 years ago it was considered vulgar to be tanned, because it meant you had to work outdoors and so were poor. Oddly we started to think tanned skin looked healthy when x-rays were discovered and before their negative effects were understood, and their tanning effect was praised. I've spent a lifetime being mocked for being pale. I'll remain pale though. I don't see why I should change just because some very narrow minded and frankly stupid people have an opinion on how they think I should look.

I agree, I'm fair skinned too

I would have thought you'd get a week out of it.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

I would have thought you'd get a week out of it.

If I remember correctly, I looked a bit Ronsealed the first day, like that old wooden character in the ad, still not orange, and then it would be very patchy by the 4th day and look worse than nothing. I'd then either have to use a tan remover or exfoliate it off or look really weird for a while. That's why I realised it's a special occasion thing. I suppose if you do it twice a week, you never have to go through the patchy phase.

Oh blimey I couldn't be bothered with that malarkey.
It must cost a fortune too.

Cor this thread has the potential for getting heated..
It depends on so many factors, where you’re from, where you now live, how you feel about yourself, needs of your feet, hands, skin, hair, weather you enjoy pampering yourself or not.

I worked in the beauty industry, so I’m so used to applying products and working with women who loved using them. So to me creams and makeup are the norm, and I think (tin hat on head now) all women look better with makeup. And I would go as far to say that those that don’t bother doing anything, it looks like you’ve just crawled out of bed, and I can’t stand that look unless you are naturally very beautiful then you’d probably get away with it.

So op, I bet you do look better than you think, don’t stop, don’t let yourself go, 💐