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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS split from rest of friends in school

128 replies

Melmanmartygloria · 29/06/2021 10:41

New classes came out on Monday for next year, my child has a group of 3 friends who he sees regularly on weekends and play dates and they've been in the same class since reception, the other 3 will be in the same class and he has been changed to the other class, he came home in floods of tears has been upset all night and this morning has refused to go to school would not get out of bed crying hasn't eaten breakfast saying why have I been changed. I took my other 2 to school and spoke to his teacher and the head and got met with the same response which was basically suck it up we won't be changing.
He attended school throughout lockdown as I was a key worker and adjusted really well with new people but still only wanted to see his regular friends when allowed again they do have a really special bond especially with one of them. Hes fantastic at his school work I never have to even tell him he will do his work before any type of play, never been in any trouble at school and always does extra work such as competitions.
What shall I do?
Headteacher was very short with me this morning saying there's no changing.
He went to school yesterday as a happy child and literally over night has turned in to a anxious worried child thinking they've done something wrong and fully refused to go. The only way I could of gotten him to school would of been to drag.
I'm at a loss please any advice

OP posts:
Nocutenamesleft · 29/06/2021 16:10

I am totally with you on this. I think it’s a little mean when they all get on so well

I really understand the school refusal too. I had a child with severe school refusal and in the end I took them out and home educated.

Best decision we ever made. I wish I had a better way of dealing with it.

1starwars2 · 29/06/2021 17:04

School lesson time is for learning and he will be fine.

You need to lead with this though. Explain how they will still be his friends and they might change it again the following year.

When I was 8 the 5 oldest kids were moved up a year for class size readjustment. I was moved into the class above with none of my friends. It was fine, and I made new friends for the next 2 years. Then we went back to our previous year group.

Don't let it be a disaster, by being calm, empathetic and unruffled.

whatthejiggeries · 29/06/2021 17:38

Yeah he will be fine - this has happened to my kids and it feels like a big deal but it won't be. It's good for them to learn to mingle with others and he will keep his old friends and make new ones. Friendship groups change a lot anyway. Plus you don't know the dynamics in the school between the four of them and why this may have been done which may not be apparent to you. You will have to suck it up because they can't change his class without changing anyone else's. You are fighting the wrong battle here - be positive with him

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