About working full time with young children

[lemonadeandstrawberries]

My partner and I have a seven month old. Before I had her I had a pretty demanding senior role in a school. It was also over an hours commute. Went on maternity leave and handed in my notice. I applied for teaching roles without any additional responsibilities and was successful a few months ago. Due to start in September.

Since it’s a new role and not returning to one it’s full time. Not really ideal but my plan was to work full time and also to hopefully have another baby, then request more flexibility. Ideally a three day week.

I suppose what I’m wondering is once I’ve got this if it’s reasonable to maintain it long term. To be honest I’d prefer to. I’d like to do primary drop offs and pick ups and be available for some assemblies and so on.

But I’m also conscious that life isn’t cheap, my children will need help with house deposits and so on. Is it better to invest in their future?

I’m just looking for views on this I suppose.

You'll have school holidays to worry about so your partner can use his leave during term time? What are your partners plans re school drop offs etc?

Who will be having your LO whilst you work? Mix of GP and nursery?
I think whilst you only have one child right now I don't see the harm in working full time and drop hours when the next one comes along.
School drop offs etc are a long way off yet.

@PurpleyBlue

You'll have school holidays to worry about so your partner can use his leave during term time? What are your partners plans re school drop offs etc?

I don’t wish to sound rude but I have no idea what you are talking about!

Apples - nursery FT.

Me and dh have both worked full time since having our kids - I returned after mat leave at 8m and 6m respectively with both our dcs (now nearing 10yo).

It's been no great hardship aside from childcare costs.

Honestly, it's whatever works for you and your family at the time. I work full time with three young ones (one at primary, two pre-school) and would also like to drop hours in the future. But right now we want to move for more space and that requires me to stay full time. So that's the priority for now.

I think where you might struggle more is potentially lack of flexibility in teaching- I can stagger my hours, take odd days off etc., which I understand is harder in a school setting. Going part time when your children are in primary isn't something to feel guilty about, if that's what you want to do - plenty of time once they hit secondary to up your hours and income again.

See how you go. I worked full time when DS1 was small. For various reasons I had to. When I came back after DS2 I was able to drop to 4 days. I find that a great balance tbh.

Working full time is totally feasible if you want to, but hard wrk, need to stay organised etc. You’ll be able to enjoy school hols with your kids too. You need to make sure your dh is on board with helping out - the pp meant, your dh can help with drop offs to nursery/school, parent-teacher meetings, school events.

You can host play dates at weekends, do dentist in school holidays, it will work out brilliantly.

Your plan is pretty much what I have done and I am a teacher too - full time until 2nd was born and now I work 4 days. Also have taken a step back from responsibilities. My kids are now 5 and 3, I think I will carry on as I am for maybe 5 or 6 more years, then I will continue to progress in my career - I have a lot of experience behind me and am confident I could apply for a senior role and be successful when I'm ready despite having plateaud a bit for a few years. I will be earning more money then so will be able to contribute more savings. It works for us as my dh has a job which already has a lot of flexibility, so he can work full time from home but also do 2 or 3 school runs a week. I can't do that in my job as it isn't as flexible, so this way I get to do a school run per week.

I don’t wish to sound rude but I have no idea what you are talking about

What purpley was trying to point out was that your OP was very much how you were looking to fit your career around having DC, with no mention of what part your partner plays in this plan. Plus teaching is very full on in term time, with the balance being that you have some/all of school holidays free, which is obviously a big help when they're at primary school.

You'll really struggle to do pick up and drop off for DC and get to work on time as a teacher - even if you work in their school, presumably you'll have to be there slightly longer than the school day. Plus also taking time off for their sick days will be massively disruptive, so you should be looking at it that their father does either pick up or drop off and is the primary contact for sick days during term time, so it's not all on you.

Focus on making a great impression in your new role, make them want to keep you happy, then they are very likely to give you 3 days after 2nd child. In my experience I find schools to be very amenable to this and haven't known anyone be turned down - several parents I work with, both mums and dads, are part time either 3 or 4 days per week. They are talented teachers and so it made good sense for the school to support them by letting them be part - time for a while. Good luck!

Apart from a year using a voluntary redundancy payout to have off with ds I have worked full time since he was 2.5. Generally I drop off, dh picks up. But both have some flexibility in our roles eg to go to sports days etc

I’m a teacher too and I went down to 3 day after my first was born. I actually found it really hard work. I disliked sharing classes, I felt it was a long day for my baby and I felt very out of the loop after my days off. The following September I asked for 4 short days and that suits me so much better.

I finish before lunch each day (around 1pm) and I have a Friday off.

My son is starting school in September and my husband wfh in the morning so can get him ready and take him and I can be there at the school gate every day for pick up.

I have dc2 as well now so will likely make this a permanent contract change. However I teach a very in demand subject so I know I can increase my hours or get a full time job in the future to take that decision.

I plan to do these hours until both children are in full time school (so at least 4 years) but if we can afford to I’d like to continue indefinitely as I think it is the right work life balance for my family.

I wouldn’t be able to do pick ups and drop offs on the days I’m in work barbara, I do know that! That’s why I want to go part time. In any event, I’m secondary so them going to my school wouldn’t work.

To be honest, I’ve no interest in progressing up the career ladder any more. I did once but now it just doesn’t interest me.

What I do want though is for DD and any future children to have the best possible life and I’m wondering how best to manage this.

You need to be very organised but it's perfectly possible. I had my DDs before it was normal to be allowed flexible/reduced hours and I always worked full time - both were in nursery from 6 months. I did miss out on some things like school fairs and sports days, but always managed time off for the Nativity and schools held parent evenings in the actual evening.

Your career does matter - because I always worked full time, I was able to develop mine and so when my marriage exploded and I ended up a single parent, I could take the hit.

Just an aside, be sure to check your maternity pay. Some places if you’re public sector need you to pay back maternity pay if you’re not returning to your job. Maybe it’s different if you’re still going to be employed albeit elsewhere. Just something to consider if you haven’t already done so. I know people who have been caught out by this.
Don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I returned at six months full time with both of mine. Had to juggle mine and dh leave to cover holidays etc and abused Used for I time to cover nursery and school pick ups and drop offs etc. It can be hrs going and rather stressful and full on at times but you just have to keep those plates spinning any way you can. It works differently for everyone

I know it’s possible, but I’m wondering what’s best long term - sorry if that wasn’t clear.

Obviously if we lost a job or needed money badly we’d both have to work FT and that’s fine.

But if one of us can go PT fairly easily that seems to give more time to the children. Or is it better to work FT and use the money to invest in their long term futures.

Thanks , thanks - I know, I went on maternity leave some nine months ago anyway.

I think it’s best to be happier and work part time and have a good work life balance if you can. More money would be nice to set aside for the kids future, as it happens I always worked full time and only managed to put away a small amount each month anyway. Who knows what the future will bring. I think if you can make it work and be there for your kids and offer them the support of being home more often, why not? As they get bigger they will want/need you around less anyway, and then perhaps that’s the time to go back into full time work anyhow? If nothing else you’ll probably need to in order to afford the food bill anyway 😂

I really think some are totally misunderstanding me, and I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear. I’m not saying ‘is this possible’ or ‘is this doable’. Obviously it is.

What I am asking is whether it is best. Bearing in mind we have no family to help.

Thanks again thanks. It is just a weighing everything up job, really!

There's no right answer here, it's up to you to weigh everything up. I always worked ft but I was not suited to be a sahm. I don't think it would have been better for the children to be at home with me. Maybe they would have been happier at the time, but longer term they benefitted a lot from me staying in work and advancing my career.

Many many people work FT with small children. Many people can't afford to or can't work PT.
But yeah, if you want an easier life and lower childcare costs then PT is great.
I was a teacher and turned down PT when DD was small, but that probably isn't representative of others. All schools are different.

Just seen your update. No family here either.
My personal story -
Worked FT (++, retraining) from returning from mat leave. 7 years later can afford to go PT so I'm doing that. I would have gone PT in a heartbeat sooner if possible within my job/income/retraining requirements.
For me, PT means:
Preschool

• unhurried days spent 1:1 with child
• can join groups/build a social network in your area
• can take baby to activities eg.. Swimming etc
• can meet existing friends for lunch etc

Once children in school :

• options for other PT/freelance options/projects as they come up (depends on your job)
• time to pursue hobbies
• time to clean/tidy/life admin so weekends are for kids/family
• time for R&R

lemonadeandstrawberries sorry I was trying to work out where your partner fits into this. If he is planning to go part time then you might find it makes more sense for you to financially go full time but then you will miss out on time with your children. It's all about the family income I think here. If as a family you can afford the lifestyle you want (including savings) with you working part time then yes it's sustainable. If I had the choice I'd go part time while they are young and see how it goes but as a teacher you have school holidays off even if you are full time I think? So you'll have lots of time to spend with them either way.