About working full time with young children

[lemonadeandstrawberries]

My partner and I have a seven month old. Before I had her I had a pretty demanding senior role in a school. It was also over an hours commute. Went on maternity leave and handed in my notice. I applied for teaching roles without any additional responsibilities and was successful a few months ago. Due to start in September.

Since it’s a new role and not returning to one it’s full time. Not really ideal but my plan was to work full time and also to hopefully have another baby, then request more flexibility. Ideally a three day week.

I suppose what I’m wondering is once I’ve got this if it’s reasonable to maintain it long term. To be honest I’d prefer to. I’d like to do primary drop offs and pick ups and be available for some assemblies and so on.

But I’m also conscious that life isn’t cheap, my children will need help with house deposits and so on. Is it better to invest in their future?

I’m just looking for views on this I suppose.

What's best will vary from one family to the next, and I don't think strangers on the internet can help you decide

Being off work during school holidays would be great for you and your family

So this will be unpopular- if you honestly want the best for your DC then don't put them into full time nursery when they are young babies - take the time to care for and nurture them yourself. You don't want to hear that, though, do you?

Dh and I both worked FT from when DD was 9 months old, she went to nursery FT and it was expensive but our salaries meant that we were financially better off even with that cost.

Returning FT also meant I could progress in my career which has made us more financially secure.

When I first returned from mat leave I was on £28000 and DH on £18000 so with £1000 nursery fees it was tight but doable.

7 yrs later I'm on £80000, fully WFH so I can do drop off and pick up, so it has been beneficial.

Childcare is a lot harder when they start school. Nursery is easy, you take them in at 8am, pick them up at 5pm and have year round coverage.

School is 9am -3pm and you have 13 weeks of holidays a year. It's a major juggling act trying to sort out pickups, annual leave to cover as many holidays as possible, holiday clubs and/or family for the gaps. Then in non-COVID times you have school plays, trips, special assemblies, parents evening at 4pm and so on.

It’s not a question of not wanting to hear it but it’s going to happen, because the benefits to my working supersede the benefits to me not working.

I found it more exhausting when DD started primary school. We had the logistics in place like childminder for before/after, lots of holiday clubs but I found it hard to have the energy to deal with homework/reading/spelling etc after work and how everything was crammed into the weekend.

I very much. preferred my 3 or 4 day PT.

Baby - School age was great, DD loved the nursery, we had nothing else than play, relax and dinner to worry about.

I work for me, not to give DD a jump start for the future. Obviously we save for college and invest for her but I don't see my income as a way to pay for them above that. I work because I want a decent pension, a nice house, holidays, possibility to access good healthcare.

I'm secondary working 4 days. I've a DS about to start school and a 1yo DD. No TLR but I do have an hour's commute.

It works well for me. I have to leave the house at 6.30am so DH does all the drop offs which is a mix of GP and nursery. With no other responsibilities I can usually make sure i'm out the door of school by around 3.40pm (unless it's a parents evening) in order to get there in time for pick ups from nursery and after school clubs. I then work on what I need to after bedtime. Department meetings and INSETs can more often than not be caught up on later. It's tiring, but possible.

I'd like to go back full time in the future but the day off helps me with workload as well as enabling me to be involved in the school run once a week.

I would second @reluctantbrit. I was teaching full time when my first was at nursery and dropped to p/t after my second which also coincided with my first starting school.

Nursery is all in one place and nice long hours so I felt she was settled and got as much work done in term time as I could so as to enjoy every second of the holidays. Once they are at school, there are clubs and activities, homework etc plus the day is so much more 'bitty' with before and after school clubs. We do use them and they are great but I think the children just seem so much more tired after a school day then a nursery day.

They are both at school now and enjoy being able to drop off/ pick up twice a week plus there is always a chance that school events might fall on my days off so I can go as there is no chance as a teacher otherwise.

I think it's tricky to make friends with other school parents if you never do any drop offs too. I'm sure others will have different opinions on that but that was my experience.

Part time means much less paid into your pension. You say partner not DH. If you go part time him stay full time then split in 20 years you have no right to his pension. Married his pension would be split as part of divorce. Lots of women get stuffed in this way.

This. Marry him OP before you get pregnant with your second child. Then think about going down to PT. I went back FT after my 1st Mat leave, used a childminder and split pick up/drop offs pretty 50:50 it was fine. Tried it again after DC2- disaster despite FT nanny. DH then had some time as SAPH (I was the higher earner at that point), then we did 3/4 days each for the entireity of the primary years. I would highly recommend it, I think everyone was happy and fufilled and the children always had someone at assembly/sports day/ nativity. I took a very local, flexible ft job when DC1 was 11 and DC2 nearly 9. DH now also works FT Dcs are 14&17.

I also definitely felt like my day at home with the kids was much harder than a day at work, especially once DC1 started school- we were rushing the whole day and DP worked until 11pm that day so I had to do bedtime alone. A school day is very short. I was looking forward to an off day once they both started school, but alas it has not come to pass.

What was best for our family (refer above poster) was us both working for sanity. DP is ok as a sahd temporarily now as they are both in school, so he gets down time, and he looks after everything else. Honestly I think DC1, who has asd, would have been happier if one of us was home all day. DC2 definitely not. But we don't make decisions based on what's best for one person in the household, it's all of us.

My children are preschool/primary age. This year I have done 0.6 over 4 days allowing me to do drop offs & pick ups. I can't say I've enjoyed it. Timetabling wise it works fine as I'm secondary. For me, it's not great. I arrive at school late, I leave early. I miss all meetings, I don't get important messages & I don't feel part of the team at all. I can't wait for September when my children will be in breakfast club/after school club for 3 days a week & I will be back working/teaching 3 days. I will do drop offs/pick ups on the other 2 days, complete my school work one day & clean/do whatever else on the other day meaning I won't have to work evenings/weekends. I'm not productive then anyway as am so exhausted.
I genuinely thought doing all drop offs & pick ups would be wonderful. It hasn't been & just adds another layer of stress to the start & end of every day! I feel like my life needs to be organised with military precision (more so than before/when I had childcare help pre Covid). Hope that helps & good luck!!

I can quite see that ru

I’d like clear set days off, not a snatched hour here or there.