To be worried about leaving dc for the night?

[Rainbowbrite85]

I’ve two dc, aged 13 and 5, this will be the first time I’ve left the 5 year old overnight and only the second time I’ve left the 13 year old.
I’m planning on going to an outdoor concert and then staying over and doing some shopping the next day with my best friend.
They’ll be fine, right? I feel really anxious about it and I know they won’t be very happy either (not broken it to them yet). I’m considering cancelling because I’m already catastrophising and I’m not even there yet.

I feel really sorry for you OP, no one seems to think you deserve a break.or some time off from being mum.

Unfortunately you can't change your parents' minds but as lots of posters have said it is your DH who needs to step up and actually be a parent.

Guilt is a habit. Don’t use it as an excuse for not doing things. It’s almost a get out of doing things if you fall back on guilt the whole time. E.g I can’t get a job as I would feel guilty, can’t go out as I would feel guilty. Where are your friends in all this? We have a friend who claims she can’t come out as she needs to settle the kids to bed. They are 9 and 11. We just laugh and tell her she is crazy and don’t give her any leeway. Kids that age don’t need mummy to settle them. It’s an excuse as she doesn’t want to go out. And it’s not an excuse that works with other parents as they can see through it. What do your friends think? Don’t they say anything to your husband?

@Rainbowbrite85
I don’t think you understand what I meant

What are you going to do when they leave and your DH finds another way to control you. Because the current excuse is easy for you to buy into. “Mum guilt”
So how will you deal with him controlling you and there is no reason for it? Because that might be hard to deal with.

You’re being abused.

What do your friends think? Don’t they say anything to your husband?

I'll be honest, I wouldn't exactly be in a rush to pick a fight with someone else's crappy abusive husband.

I don’t mean pick a fight. Don’t you make him aware of what the other dads do with their kids?

So everyone makes you feel guilty yet it’s perfectly fine for your DH to go away? Why?

Let me guess, your DH is included in the ‘everyone’.