Soft play. Lack of supervision

[mysterytoddler]

I take my 19 month old DD to soft play most weeks since they’ve reopened. I’m 7 months pregnant with DC2.

I’m so sick of parents not supervising their kids properly. Today was a classic. Another mum with 2 boys, at a guess I’d say that the oldest was 7, youngest 3. Both really boisterous kids. The mum spent most of the time sat at her table on her phone. She checked on them now and again but mostly left them to it. At one point she even took the toddler to the toilet and left the older one completely unsupervised.
I took DD to the large bit of the soft play that’s recommended for older ones which is my own doing but DD is really headstrong and finds the baby bit really boring now. But they were running all over the place and she got knocked over twice.

I also don’t understand why the 7 year old wasn’t at school. Part of the reason we go on weekdays is because it’s quieter and usually full of toddlers. I wouldn’t go on weekends cos I accept that there will be school age kids there.

I’m just sick of it. I manage to clamber all over the equipment and supervise my toddler despite being heavily pregnant. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for others to do the same

Yanbu, i find the same but equally i stand up for my child and am now confident telling other children off and/or saying something to parents. Ive not had to yet but if neither of those worked id be making complaints to staff.

@TentTalk thats really shit. Imagine if someone took that attitude with your kids. How hard is it to tell them to be careful of little ones? It's a basic principal older kids need to learn.

Imagine if your kid strolled into a cycle path, would it be fair game for someone to knock your kid over on the principal your kid shouldn't be there.

[quote RealBecca]@TentTalk thats really shit. Imagine if someone took that attitude with your kids. How hard is it to tell them to be careful of little ones? It's a basic principal older kids need to learn.

Imagine if your kid strolled into a cycle path, would it be fair game for someone to knock your kid over on the principal your kid shouldn't be there.[/quote]
I wouldn't let my kid walk in a cycle path, because of the risk of them getting in a cyclists way.

My kids ARE little. I expect if my 2yo goes in the big bit of soft play she will get knocked over. And I'm not expecting a 5 or 7yo to be considerate of a 2yo in an area designed for them to run and jump without issue.

@HiHoSylvie

People who don't tell their 7 year olds that if they (even accidentally) knock over a 17 mo, they need to stop and apologise are utter scumbags imo. And my dcs are older (and go to softplay unsupervised). Now, clearly, the 7yo might not apologise and you'll be none the wiser, but if you know and go "so what? He was in the 5+ area wasn't he?", well, eeeew.

Yes, I'd expect that of a 7 year old.

However, the child who knocked over OP's child was 3. At 3 DC1 didn't yet realise DC2 was a permanent object, and frequently tried to walk through him...

No, op definitely said it was the 7yo.

@HiHoSylvie

I forgot to mention that the area the boys were in was an over 5s area. So the 3 year old (who was the one who knocked over my toddler)

The older play bit is for older children for a reason. YABU for all of your post, but mostly for taking a 19 month old in the older bit.

@mysterytoddler

I forgot to mention that the area the boys were in was an over 5s area. So the 3 year old (who was the one who knocked over my toddler) shouldn’t have been in there unsupervised.

It’s not an inset day in my town and i didn’t get the impression they were homeschooled. The mum looked very young maybe late 20s

Oh no, I stand corrected.

And I'm not expecting a 5 or 7yo to be considerate of a 2yo in an area designed for them to run and jump without issue.

This is scumbag terf though. Seriously 🤢.

And I'd still supervise my 3yo and he would stop and either he or I would apologise if he knocked over a baby. I'd be mortified.

And if I wasn't there to see it, I'm pretty confident my 6yo would stop and apologise or come and tell me if her little brother took out a tiny one. No matter where they are in the soft play.

I think this is one of those things that you might change your stance on when you have 2 OP.
I went to soft play last week, left my 3.5 yr old for a few minutes to order coffee, taking younger sibling with me. As others have mentioned, it's one of the few places he is not likely to hurt himself , and can't get out the building.
He can get round the whole thing himself, so I just check in with him occasionally. If I see him pushing etc I obviously stop him, but he is much quicker than me at climbing so it's not likely I'll even see it!

My youngest DC is 2. I mostly supervise him and have to let the others to it. I also (gasp) sometimes sit and periodically check he's still happy in his age appropriate structure with half an eye on my phone.

Our nearest soft play actually has three structures - one for under 2s, one 2-5s and one for 5+, so I don't need to take him into the big structure for thrills, but if he wants to go in (with me), it's my fault if he gets accidentally knocked over by an older child going about their play, not the child's, or the parent of a child old enough to be unsupervised. I also only ever do this when it's quiet, because big kids get priority.

This is scumbag terf though. Seriously 🤢.

Why? If kids can't be themselves and run about with abandon in soft play where can they? If they deliberately push over a child that's one thing, but accidentally running in to one? I wouldn't say anything to them or their parents.

Wtf. They were 3 and 7. You don't go round the soft play with them at that age. You sound like you don't understand how it works or are way too overbearing

Because anyone with basic human decency knows you apologise if you hurt someone more vulnerable than you are. Shrugging and saying "well you shouldn't have been in here then" as a reaction to your kid hurting a tiny baby is low standards. But they're your standards. You live with consequences, not me.

@HiHoSylvie

Because anyone with basic human decency knows you apologise if you hurt someone more vulnerable than you are. Shrugging and saying "well you shouldn't have been in here then" as a reaction to your kid hurting a tiny baby is low standards. But they're your standards. You live with consequences, not me.

Where did I say my child wouldn't apologise if they did it? I said I wouldn't expect another child to apologise if they did it to my child.

I think deliberate pushing or other violence is one thing and most parents would intervene if they see this. But it's not reasonable to expect a parent to follow their older child around the soft play just in case they hurt another child unless the parent knows they're prone to misbehaving like this. Accidental pushing or knocking over is to be expected since most children will be hurtling around at speed and that's why it's not a good idea to bring little ones into the older kids' section unless they can hold their own (so maybe a large 3 or 4 year old). A six year old sitting on a five year old is unlikely to cause much damage but the same cannot be said for an 18 month old being squashed by an older child.

@TentTalk

I’m sorry but you still have an obligation to check that your children are not hurting other small children. Soft play is not a childminding service.

There's a huge difference between allowing my child to hit others and allowing them to run around in a setting designed for it. If they run around and run past a child not supposed to be in that area and accidentally push them over in doing so (because they brushed past them) then I'm not going to chastise my child for that when it's unlikely that the same action would have knocked over a child of the appropriate age.

Ah right, so this was meant to say, "if my child accidentally knocked over a little one, they'd stop and apologise"? Because reading this and your subsequent; "And I'm not expecting a 5 or 7yo to be considerate of a 2yo in an area designed for them to run and jump without issue", maybe you see why I'm confused.

HiHoSylvie

That was in response to what I quoted. My kids are young, as I said I wouldn't expect a child knocking over my 2yo to apologise. What I would expect of my own children has no bearing on what I expect of others. And it would appear the majority of the thread agree with me.

I took my 3.5 year old to soft play last week and she went in the big kids area, on her own, whilst I had a coffee in peace and stared at my phone. If she needed me she knew where I was sat and is more than capable of coming back to the table to tell me what she needed. She also wouldn't dream of pushing, snatching or shoving another child. If you don't want your child to mix with the bigger kids keep them in the baby area 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ah I see. We only take one of your posts into account and ignore the others then.

In the post I quoted, you were responding to another poster who was calling your previous post "shit". Which I tend to agree with, except that you now say you actually think you would expect your child (when old enough) to behave decently towards a heavily pregnant mum and her very small (under 2yo) toddler, even if he didn't technically HAVE to.

To be honest, I think it’s less about the ages of your kids and more about their stages of development. I have a toddler about the age of your child and a 5 year old. I wouldn’t dream of following the older one round but equally I’d expect to remain in the baby area with the younger one throughout.

When we went a couple of weeks ago, there were children of maybe 2.5 or 3 in the baby area who were completely unsupervised - one came up to me crying and asking for a plaster but couldn’t tell me where his grown-up was (he gave the impression of being barely verbal). She was outside the play area having a coffee. Then another child, maybe 3, was struggling to let himself out of the play area, again in tears, couldn’t find his grownup. So if your child is independent enough to access the play area and tell an adult they’ve lost their mummy - fine, have a coffee and sit outside by all means. If not - maybe you need to be in there with them.

Oh, and it stands to reason that if your child has form for hitting/biting, you need to supervise closely at all times.

@mysterytoddler

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6366557/amp/Toddler-bitten-15-times-children-soft-play-centre-Seacroft-Leeds.html

This is horrendous

Well she was rediculous to let a 17 month d roam about unsupervised. I don't know what that has to do with a 7 and 3 year old? Are you saying one of them tried to hurt your DD because they were unsupervised?

I thought they just bumped into her by accident becuase you took a 1 and a half year old into the over 5 section?

'This is scumbag terf though. Seriously 🤢.'

Interesting autocorrect!

@BastardMonkfish

'This is scumbag terf though. Seriously 🤢.'

Interesting autocorrect!

Not an autocorrect, a misspelling. Is that ok with you, or will you be alerting the spelling police?

@HiHoSylvie That 'misspelling' is an offensive slur.