Soft play. Lack of supervision

[mysterytoddler]

I take my 19 month old DD to soft play most weeks since they’ve reopened. I’m 7 months pregnant with DC2.

I’m so sick of parents not supervising their kids properly. Today was a classic. Another mum with 2 boys, at a guess I’d say that the oldest was 7, youngest 3. Both really boisterous kids. The mum spent most of the time sat at her table on her phone. She checked on them now and again but mostly left them to it. At one point she even took the toddler to the toilet and left the older one completely unsupervised.
I took DD to the large bit of the soft play that’s recommended for older ones which is my own doing but DD is really headstrong and finds the baby bit really boring now. But they were running all over the place and she got knocked over twice.

I also don’t understand why the 7 year old wasn’t at school. Part of the reason we go on weekdays is because it’s quieter and usually full of toddlers. I wouldn’t go on weekends cos I accept that there will be school age kids there.

I’m just sick of it. I manage to clamber all over the equipment and supervise my toddler despite being heavily pregnant. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for others to do the same

I started leaving my DD to it around age 5. I felt a bit sad when she didn't need me anymore but it wasn't negligent she just went off and made a friend.

Don't forget some children are home schooled

Is being in your late 20s with DC classed as young these days? I had 3 DC when I was 28, married, with a good job and mortgage. Being almost 40 with young children does not make a better parent.

Strong willed = we don't say no? You're doing no favours letting your DD have her own way if so.

My DC are years past the soft play age, but when we did go, and they were old enough to (around 4) they'd go off by themselves. It taught them independence and they knew to come to me if there was any issues. I'd also make sure they were in bright tops so I could spot them while having cake and reading a magazine (I'm that old, smart phones weren't really a thing then).

I suggest you reread this thread when your DC are 7 and see if you still feel your DC need such close supervision.

Honestly, children don't NEED to be supervised at soft place.

at least that's what lazy parents tell themselves.

That's why you always find a kid stuck somewhere, in tears, but ignored by lazy mummy too busy on her phone, you have children screaming for some attention from their adult with no reaction whatsoever, little horrors bullying - or trying to bully - others.

Sadly some parents confuse being a helicopter parent holding hand all the way, with simple "supervision".

DD is 7 and would be utterly mortified if I followed her around a play centre YABU

Your child was in the wrong area. YABU.

Soft play is survival of the fittest. Chuck your kid in and let them learn how to survive in the wild

I have to go round soft play with 5 year ds (sen) luckily our local soft-play require the parents to actually supervise there children and most parents go round with there child. It's a brilliant place with loads to do and before COVID you could spend all day there. It's also very popular.

Soft play isn't always safe.
I once found a small child screaming upside down stuck between a 50p ride machine and the wall. He wasn't visible to the seating area and I had to shout for help to push the ride to even get to him. If I wasn't there then I don't know how long he would've of been there as I didn't see him fall behind and you wouldn't of heard him other the music.

Our local soft play doesn’t have staff anywhere near the equipment they serve food and clean up etc but they don’t actively supervise the soft play frames.

Mine are 6 and 4. I don’t follow them in but I do supervise. I like to be aware of where they are and that they are ok. I don’t really sit on my phone the whole time because I can’t relax.

But I accept that I am probably a bit on the overprotective side.

My 6 year old had her nose burst at soft play recently. I mean it was a total accident - got too close to a kid climbing through a roller and he kicked her in the face - but it’s not true that kids can’t get hurt in the soft play.

Sadly some parents confuse being a helicopter parent holding hand all the way, with simple "supervision".

More often it is the case that the helicopters think they are just supervising.

So your child was in the area specifically separated for older children, because you couldn't parent it and say no but you want someone else to restrict their children to allow for this? You are in the wrong, if you are worried about a 2 year old being knocked then keep them in the age appropriate area. You sound incredibly nieve.

Focus on saying no to your own child and improving your parenting before contemplating telling others how to parent.

Eh? She left her 7 year old UNSUPERVISED while she took the younger one to the toilet? The horror.

You lost me at that OP.

The updates here by OP show that, even with fairly clear feedback of YABU... they absolutely do not think they're wrong at all. I think you sound really unpleasant and I would rather lazy over judgy and rude any day!

I'm well past these days buy I remember my annoyance at the helicopter parents at soft play, taking up space on the equipment, ruining the kids fun.

The parents of tiny ones taking them in to older areas and getting stroppy about older kids being in there.

I don't miss it! But it was a good opportunity for sitting down with a cuppa scrolling my phone while the kids knackered themselves out in a safe environment

I'm trying to imagine my 7 year olds reaction if I tried to follow him around softplay to supervise him... 😂

@kindaclassy

YANBU at all

but first rule of soft play is that you have to stay with your own child until they are old enough to be in a group and defend themselves against feral bullies.

Lazy parents who don't bother with their own children, even when they get stuck or are in tears, are not known to teach them basic respect for anyone let's be honest.

Some older children are lovely, but it only takes 1 or 2 brats to spoil it for everybody else, so you have to stay with yours.

So by your rules, my son wouldn't be allowed into soft play til about aged 8 because he apparently would need constant supervision? I was in a wheelchair and therefore couldn't climb over the obstacles, and my husband works (as do I as a teacher). By your reckoning, I had to keep my child trapped during the summer holidays because I couldn't 'man mark' him?

You and OP would make great friends, you can both sit there whinging and bitching to each other, judging the hell out of everyone and get off Mumsnet and stop trying to undermine fellow mums and make others feel like crap. You both sound quite vile creatures.

@Rachie1973

I’m proudly lazy then. I go to soft play so I can be lazy.

I shout a ‘be careful, try not to kill anyone’ warning and shove them in.

I’ve done my time crawling around kids play areas in the toddler years. I’ve earned my lazy time :)

I will try hard to look concerned in future when some idiot woman takes her teeny one into the big kids area and then gets all precious when it gets knocked over. Well I will if I take my nose out of my book long enough anyway.

Yay someone else who gives that warning! I thought I was the only one

When you have more then 1 child it is very difficult to take them all the toilet just for one to have a quick wee. Specially when their that age too!
Also I think soft play is so you can sit and watch them play, give them some independence and you a break?
My kids won't let me go in with them anymore so I have no choice but to sit snd watch and I will pick up my phone a few times and maybe sort some emails etc.

I used to feel massively irritated by other kids and parents at soft play OP - so I stopped going.

You say your toddler is headstrong so you let her into the older kids area, but you expect the other kids' mother to keep them in check? Hmmmn...

Pregnancy with a toddler is hard and you just want to find somewhere that's easy, but I think you're being unreasonable and would be better off in a park than soft play.

At soft play there’s a supervising then and then there’s SUPERVISING them. At 6 and 4 my DC are perfectly capable of navigating the areas themselves. They don’t need me following them around, they’d just run away! Do I check on them every ten mins? Of course I do! Do I make sure they can see me and know where I am? Yes! If it’s a new soft play I’d probably go in with my 4 year old to see if he can do it and if they want me to come then I would do but you do not need to be on their heels the whole time.

My kid once got knocked over by an over excited middle aged man chasing his too young child through some equipment. Should I have asked where his mother was? 🤔

I have an issue when children behave like hooligans (e.g. the group of boys punching young kids at the bottom of the slide) and their parents don't react when told. Having said that every 7 year old I know can be left in the soft play while their parent is in the loo.

We have all inwardly (hopefully) judged the parenting of those with children older than ours. Then your children get to that age and you suddenly you get it!!! This is one of those examples.