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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Soft play. Lack of supervision

355 replies

mysterytoddler · 25/06/2021 20:03

I take my 19 month old DD to soft play most weeks since they’ve reopened. I’m 7 months pregnant with DC2.

I’m so sick of parents not supervising their kids properly. Today was a classic. Another mum with 2 boys, at a guess I’d say that the oldest was 7, youngest 3. Both really boisterous kids. The mum spent most of the time sat at her table on her phone. She checked on them now and again but mostly left them to it. At one point she even took the toddler to the toilet and left the older one completely unsupervised. Confused
I took DD to the large bit of the soft play that’s recommended for older ones which is my own doing but DD is really headstrong and finds the baby bit really boring now. But they were running all over the place and she got knocked over twice.

I also don’t understand why the 7 year old wasn’t at school. Part of the reason we go on weekdays is because it’s quieter and usually full of toddlers. I wouldn’t go on weekends cos I accept that there will be school age kids there.

I’m just sick of it. I manage to clamber all over the equipment and supervise my toddler despite being heavily pregnant. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for others to do the same

OP posts:
Looubylou · 26/06/2021 08:05

I've only read page 1 OP, but I think you must be getting the message. It's not the fault of parents of children who are playing in their age appropriate area, if you give into your "head strong" toddler, rather than setting dome boundaries. Sounds harsh, as I know how difficult it is, but that's the top and bottom of it.

Looubylou · 26/06/2021 08:06

Some!

Onemorefortheroad · 26/06/2021 08:12

Would love to check in with the OP in five years and find out how the 'supervising a 7 year old in the soft play' is going 🤣 I used to long for the day when my LO was old enough to be left unsupervised for a wee while while I got some peace to chat to friends or check my phone!

YABVVVU. Quite judgy in your posts also.

Starlightstarbright1 · 26/06/2021 08:30

Honestly you do come accross as very judgemental...

The 7 year old could have been there for so many reasons, i have a friend ds had to isolate, due to go back to school, bubble broke , could have moved area not be allocated school..
My ds ( too old for soft play ) had a mh day a month ago. Homeschooling is not recreating a classroom at home.

The children have had so little freedom they deserve to be able to run around with other children, the 3 year old may well be off to school September and needs to develop the skill of running and avoiding.

Your aricle is pointless.. yes some children go through a biting phase and yes they need supervising..

DeflatedGinDrinker · 26/06/2021 08:47

OP YABU at that age you let them crack on and enjoy a coffee at your table you don't follow a 7 year old around soft play.

HappyDays40 · 26/06/2021 08:47

The only time ive ever intervened and told a parent to supervise their child properly was when a 7/8 year old had dragged a younger child on to a piece of equipment and was smacking them repeatedly round the head. He did this on three different occasions so I told the mum who was sat, head in phone at the table and she said oh he does thatConfused

I think you have to expect a toddler on play equipment for older children to get knocks and bumps. At 2/3 my son was allowed on the bigger kids play equipment but I took the responsibility to go on with him.

When my son when through a biting phase I also went on with him to prevent him hurting another child.

My softplay rules are

  • Younger child on older kids play equipment with older kids running either expect unintentional knocks or closely supervise- do not blame parents for not "appropriately " supervising.
  • Children with behaviour that is going hurt anither child such as mine did. Get on the equipment and supervise. The other children should not have to endure the violent behaviour of other children.

Regardless of how tired you are you don't take a child who has obvious tendencies like that onto softplay and not closely supervise. Parent or stay away.
My son was a biter it was awful and it lasted several months he is now being assessed for all sorts of things so I don't jusdge parents for behaviour issues. I judge them for knowingly letting their child hurt others.

Marchitectmummy · 26/06/2021 09:27

Just something else for tbe OP to consider, if you have been warned in writing that a piece of equipment is not suitable for under x age and you ignore it and let your child on it you are putting your child at a bigger risk than another child knocking them. If your child does become injured or hurt by the equipment itself your child will not be covered by tbe soft plat insurance.

Steelesauce · 26/06/2021 09:31

Haha! Oh OP you sound a right judgey idiot. BTW I'm in my 30s and look about 20 (always getting ID'd). My kids look after each other in soft play. Gone are my days of following kids about. Once they can hold their own and do the equipment by themselves, they should be left to crack on. And when you have multiple kids, that age gets earlier each time as they learn from the older ones.

kindaclassy · 26/06/2021 10:14

@SoupDragon

Sadly some parents confuse being a helicopter parent holding hand all the way, with simple "supervision".

More often it is the case that the helicopters think they are just supervising.

keeping an eye on your child instead of ignoring them for 2 hours is hardly being a helicopter.

Usually by parents who expect others to sort out their own kids because they can't be bothered.

kindaclassy · 26/06/2021 10:17

If you think about it, half the parents will take their kids to soft play so they can enjoy themselves, the other half because they resent having to look after their own kids and want to ignore them for as long as they can get away with! How well behaved do you think the second category of kids will be?

Brendabigbaps · 26/06/2021 10:24

@Rosesarere

You took a toddler into the section aimed at older children, soft play is divided into different sections for a reasons, to stop the big ones unintentionally hurting the smaller ones. Im sure you would be the first to complain if the older children had come into the toddler section...
This!
SoupDragon · 26/06/2021 10:49

keeping an eye on your child instead of ignoring them for 2 hours is hardly being a helicopter.

Following your child round the soft play is. Keep them in the age appropriate bit.

Usually by parents who expect others to sort out their own kids because they can't be bothered

Yeah, right.

IntoAir · 26/06/2021 11:36

I took DD to the large bit of the soft play that’s recommended for older ones

YABU. Stop blaming others for a single I’ll-advised choice. Move on. Get ov

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 26/06/2021 11:38

When my daughter was 19 months old I was 9 months pregnant with my son and was still going on soft play with her because she was still too small, she had no one to play with and I could easily keep up with her.
I’m now 5 months pregnant with number three and I have zero chance of keeping up with my now 4 and 3 year old.

AdditionalCharacter · 26/06/2021 15:42

@EvilHerbivore

My kid once got knocked over by an over excited middle aged man chasing his too young child through some equipment. Should I have asked where his mother was? 🤔
You should have taken him by the hand and marched him over to his wife, who was probably on her phone.
BastardMonkfish · 26/06/2021 15:54

Thanks to this thread I was inspired to be a useless lazy mummy today and take my child to soft play. I am in fact writing this on my phone in the soft play centre. DS (4) is currently involved in what looks like a birthing ball sumo fight with an older child. He's only flattened one baby in the big kids area so far! Although a dads just gone in with a newborn so good luck to them!

cocoloco987 · 26/06/2021 16:20

If you're going to take your smaller child in to the bigger area you have to be prepared to dodge the charging older DC. It doesn't matter that the 3 year old was in the older area unless the mum was complaining about him getting hurt by older dc (as you are). It's fine to leave a child alone in soft play while you take a younger sibling to the toilet and yesterday lots of schools had inset days, dc could have had an appointment. Setting could be closed due to covid but not the DC's bubble affected. The list could go on

97thousand1hundredand4 · 26/06/2021 16:29

@BastardMonkfish

Thanks to this thread I was inspired to be a useless lazy mummy today and take my child to soft play. I am in fact writing this on my phone in the soft play centre. DS (4) is currently involved in what looks like a birthing ball sumo fight with an older child. He's only flattened one baby in the big kids area so far! Although a dads just gone in with a newborn so good luck to them!
I'm going to take my DCs in the week when there'll be plenty of toddlers for them to terrorise while I ignore them Grin
cocoloco987 · 26/06/2021 16:33

Thanks to this thread I was inspired to be a useless lazy mummy today and take my child to soft play. I am in fact writing this on my phone in the soft play centre

Soft plays are still closed in my level Hmm. Enjoy your peaceful mumsnetting time Grin

Recessed · 26/06/2021 16:44

Have you read Lord of the Flies OP? That’s what soft play is, you protect your kids until they’re big enough to take down others!

Exactly this Grin OP will change her tune swiftly when baby no.2 is born! I remember being quite precious with mine at that age too so I can't judge too harshly. I loathed children of any age who would be rough with them but once they're over 3 or so you get to relax and sit with the coffee too, your turn is close OP!

BastardMonkfish · 26/06/2021 16:46

@97thousand1hundredand4 GrinGrin ensure you get plenty of skittles and fruit shoots into them to ensure maximum velocity when they're charging about. The toddlers will never be able to match them on their home made sugar free peanut butter and banana cookies brought in by their mums.

skodadoda · 26/06/2021 22:08

@Soubriquet

The whole point and joy of soft play is that you can sit down and let the kids rock on without supervision

I’m sorry yours was knocked down. That isn’t right, but leaving a 7 year old whilst taking a 3 year old to the toilet is fine.

So is sitting on her phone whilst they played

I’m sorry but you still have an obligation to check that your children are not hurting other small children. Soft play is not a childminding service.
cocoloco987 · 26/06/2021 22:11

I’m sorry but you still have an obligation to check that your children are not hurting other small children. Soft play is not a childminding service.

I'm sorry but if an adult chooses to take their under 2 in to the over 5 section then it's absolutely their responsibility to ensure said toddler is not being hurt by the dc playing in their age appropriate setting, not the parent of the appropriately aged child

TentTalk · 27/06/2021 13:30

I’m sorry but you still have an obligation to check that your children are not hurting other small children. Soft play is not a childminding service.

There's a huge difference between allowing my child to hit others and allowing them to run around in a setting designed for it. If they run around and run past a child not supposed to be in that area and accidentally push them over in doing so (because they brushed past them) then I'm not going to chastise my child for that when it's unlikely that the same action would have knocked over a child of the appropriate age.

HiHoSylvie · 27/06/2021 13:51

People who don't tell their 7 year olds that if they (even accidentally) knock over a 17 mo, they need to stop and apologise are utter scumbags imo. And my dcs are older (and go to softplay unsupervised). Now, clearly, the 7yo might not apologise and you'll be none the wiser, but if you know and go "so what? He was in the 5+ area wasn't he?", well, eeeew.