The behaviour in my DD’s class has gone downhill enormously this year. It sounds really very similar to your experience, OP, except my dd is near the end of primary (also enrolled for a girl’s senior school).
I’ve tried posting about this before under a different name but I got ripped to shreds for judging little children and their well-meaning parents.
There are kids in DD’s class with SEN and kids who are just badly behaved (behave selfishly, nastily or cannot control their impulses etc). It seems like the SEN kids create noise and disruption frequently then the naughty NT kids are unable to concentrate, pile in and cause their own havoc. Mostly the violent and disruptive behaviour is boys, but not exclusively. No idea why. My dd steers clear and hangs out with two quiet girls. Some exceptions. For example, Pre COVID dd was shouted at during lunchtime by a girl and pushed over then kicked whilst lying on the floor. My dd had tried to involve her in her playtime activities as the girl had fallen out with her friends, then my dd annoyed her by insisting that she had lost the majority vote for what game to play next, I expect dd did this in a high-handed way and the other girl exploded.
Most of the boys’ bad behaviour is generally a bit violent, noisy and uncooperative in class. DD avoids them in the playground. In class over the past two years, she has seen desks tipped over, a cupboard door deliberately kicked in, a box thrown at a supply teacher, deliberately pouring water on other kids’ work, work torn up, children FREQUENTLY running out of class screaming and throwing a tantrum, sports equipment hurled over the school fence in anger, doors slammed deliberately on other kids’ ankles or in faces, balls thrown aggressively (broken glasses, suspected broken nose), pushing, shoving, fighting, shouting and refusing to work. Children have been suspended, frequently. Mostly this is the SEN kids but not always. Most days there is disruption.
It is a nice, ofsted outstanding school, with a good reputation and a stable staff. Before COVID you often saw parents cornered by the teacher or the head for an end of day chat.
My dd has slowly grown used to it. She is bored rigid though, as the teacher is so often dealing with behaviour issues.
Last week, the class teacher phoned me as the bully girl who kicked my dd pre-COVID had again been bullying her in class, teacher had forgotten the problems and put them on the same table. She couldn’t name the girl but it was clear who we were discussing, She apologised and said she would move bully girl. Teacher said my dd didn’t want the teacher to reprimand the bully or talk to her parent as “she feels it would only make things worse” and so teacher had agreed to just ignore the problem, on condition my dd tells her if the bullying resumes.
And that’s what it comes to; there is often no point reprimanding or punishing these awful children, as they visit worse punishment on their victims in retaliation. Small things, like dust kicked on shoes, little kicks on the ankle, unkind words, ganging up and constantly chipping away, nasty looks and threatening gestures that create fear. And then I see the bully girl skipping home and she gives me a wide smile. I used to be friends with her mum but mum stopped talking to me when we couldn’t solve the problems. It is just drip, drip, drip.
I asked dd about the situation in her class, she is resigned to it. “They can’t get to me, if I don’t let them. I just tell myself they don’t matter and try to focus on my work. It is hard when there is so much noise.”