3 Year Old going downstairs alone.

[blaisealex]

DS 3, for the past two mornings, has ventured downstairs alone when he wakes up.

I'm just wondering how old your DC were when they started going downstairs alone?

I'm not happy about it. We don't allow DS to use the stairs unsupervised nor be downstairs or upstairs by himself. But he's creeping downstairs first thing when he wakes up and we don't hear him. Prior to this he would come to our room and wake us up. He is no longer doing this.

I'm not sure what I can do to stop him? Of course, I can tell him not to but whether he listens or not is another matter. I can't set an alarm to wake before him because he doesn't wake at a set time. He could wake at any time. He can now open all the stair gates so those don't work anymore.

I should add, he is only just turned three. By a few weeks.

Am I being too protective or am I right that this is a definite no no?

I used to buy another 20 minutes or so by giving them an iPad to watch in bed. Higher stairgate (unless will climb over it). Mini lock (bathroom style) high up on outside of doors downstairs so no incentive for him to go down?

Around 4

@TheLovelinessOfDemons

Put a baby gate at the top of the stairs. I now allow my 9yo in the TV room before we get up ( flat, no stairs), but that's because he'll literally just sit and watch TV. The 13yo has never done it.

This is slightly disturbing. Talk about helicopter parenting gone wild

Are they allowed to even use the toilet whilst you are asleep or do you make them wake you up and follow them in their too and wipe their bottoms?

I think mine did it a bit earlier, around 2- 2.5y old.

I have a thing about stair case injuries deaths so it's the one area where I 100% helicopter parented.
I taught them to hold on to the banister going up or down as soon as they were able to, I still instruct everyone "one hand to hold the side, one hand to carry things)

they were all able to come down the stairs on their bottoms (I don't know if there is a term for this) safely before they could walk down. not that they would do it unattended, but unaided.

so if you know he's been safe going up and down by himself then I think the issue is not so much that he goes down but what he'll do when he's there!

if you are not ready to change your routines then prevent him from opening the stair gate.

I'd say your best bet is some sort of bell or alarm on his bedroom door that wakes you up when he opens it. Totally normal to not want your 3 year old mooching around unsupervised downstairs by the way!

Oh gosh I wouldn’t be able to sleep if my DS was doing this. I read a good idea to put a motion sensor camera overlooking the door so it alerts you if he leaves the room.

My youngest wakes between 5 and 6am each morning. I can't help but hear him. And that's me awake. Don't know how folk manage to sleep through their children waking up and making a rammy🤔

Oh yes I like the idea of a bell etc on his door so you wake up.

Wind chime on bedroom door! I know a woman who swore by this as she slept quite deeply. There’s also bungee cord etc for stair gate, a harder stair gate, padlock, lots of options. At that age they may be safe on the stairs but they are not safe downstairs on own. Also, gro clock is very good, alarm for yourself set earlier. Lots of options.

You can get door alarms from Amazon. Some make a loud noise when they are opened, some send a notification to your phone. Either put it on his bedroom door, the stair gate or the downstairs door that he goes through. Or all 3, hopefully one should wake you up!

Is your downstairs open plan or is it rooms with doors off a central hallway? If it's the second one you could put bolts high up on the hallway side of the room doors and bolt them all when you go to bed. Then if he goes down he can only bimble around the hallway (which should be easy to child-proof/make boring).

Depending what time he's up, I would second the suggestions for a groclock. Big reward if he waits in his room for the sun to come up on it - maybe you bring him some breakfast or a drink in his room and you can watch something together there? They don't work for everyone but I have just about got my 2.5yo to check his groclock before standing at his gate* and bellowing MUMMY WAKE UP TIME PLEASE.

• he has a stairgate because he still wears a sleeping bag and he's not safe down the stairs in that!

DS will go downstairs quite happily and make no attempt to call for me or wake me up. He would use it as an opportunity to do things downstairs he knows he isn't allowed to do! Knowing my DS, I can well see him pulling a kitchen chair over to the work top, clamouring onto it and then shoving his hand in the toaster. That kind of thing. We do leave everything turned off at the plug but knowing DS, he'd find a way! We've just recently had to put a lock on the fridge freezer which feels like a step backward but it seems the only way to keep him out of it. I've no problem with him getting a drink out of the fridge or anything like that but we have one of those tall fridges and DS will attempt to climb up the shelves to reach the top. I caught him trying to shut himself in the tumbler dryer last week. He's that kind of child! My other issue is that I'm capable of sleeping through a tornado. So very unlikely to hear him getting up to mischief. Before he started taking himself off downstairs in the mornings he used to come into my bedroom and slap me in the face to wake me up. Anyway, thanks for all the suggestions. For the time being DH has placed one stair gate on top of another to make it extra tall just as a temporary measure to keep him safe!

I second the bell on his door handle! DS has one that was bought for Christmas with his name on when he was tiny, for several weeks of the year it drives me scatty because he likes to hang it on his door handle!

I'm pretty aghast at the posters suggesting padlocking a baby hate and licking downstairs doors - I sincerely hope you NEVER have a fire in your houses.....

Locking not licking 😂

@TheLovelinessOfDemons

Put a baby gate at the top of the stairs. I now allow my 9yo in the TV room before we get up ( flat, no stairs), but that's because he'll literally just sit and watch TV. The 13yo has never done it.

Your 9 year old?? Jeez

He sounds naughty. He needs to learn to do what he is told. You need to have a firm word with him and put in some suitable and age appropriate consequences. Come on now, you're in charge!

Bells on the door! You might not hear him but someone else might.

The two stair gates on top of another are a good idea. My 23 month old is a climber and I know he'd try it. He climbs on the washing machine to get up to the units! I follow him out of every room . He must think, leave me alone lady.

You should get one of those annoying cat sensors people have in their gardens. .

@FunTimes2020

He sounds naughty. He needs to learn to do what he is told. You need to have a firm word with him and put in some suitable and age appropriate consequences. Come on now, you're in charge!

Naughty? He has just turned 3. I don't think it's naughty.

Maybe a reward chart to stay in.his room ?

I second the window alarms - they're super easy to stick on and set. You'll know as soon as he opens his door in the morning!

Get a better stair gate. A barely 3 year old should not be alone whilst you’re asleep. My child started going down alone about 5/6

@TheLovelinessOfDemons are you joking. Please say you are. At 14 I was going to festivals. You’re child has never gone downstairs alone???

Your

@blaisealex

DS will go downstairs quite happily and make no attempt to call for me or wake me up. He would use it as an opportunity to do things downstairs he knows he isn't allowed to do! Knowing my DS, I can well see him pulling a kitchen chair over to the work top, clamouring onto it and then shoving his hand in the toaster. That kind of thing. We do leave everything turned off at the plug but knowing DS, he'd find a way! We've just recently had to put a lock on the fridge freezer which feels like a step backward but it seems the only way to keep him out of it. I've no problem with him getting a drink out of the fridge or anything like that but we have one of those tall fridges and DS will attempt to climb up the shelves to reach the top. I caught him trying to shut himself in the tumbler dryer last week. He's that kind of child! My other issue is that I'm capable of sleeping through a tornado. So very unlikely to hear him getting up to mischief. Before he started taking himself off downstairs in the mornings he used to come into my bedroom and slap me in the face to wake me up. Anyway, thanks for all the suggestions. For the time being DH has placed one stair gate on top of another to make it extra tall just as a temporary measure to keep him safe!

He sounds like a real character! Hopefully the stair gate on top of the other stair gate will help. Your son sounds very resourceful, hopefully it will do him well in the future, though not so much now! 🙈😂