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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not swap land with my neighbour?

531 replies

TreeTrials · 23/06/2021 15:44

Our neighbours are wanting to renovate their garage to incorporate it into their house. It sits alongside our garden boundary wall which is at an angle. Than angle makes it hard for them to do the changes they want because the room would be very narrow at the bottom.

They have previously talked to us about swapping land so they have a more regular shaped room. We expressed reluctance as we don't need the land they were offering and we have some mature bushes/trees growing out of the wall (it's a wide very old stone one). These trees and bushes provide privacy screening so that we don't see their house. If they are cut down, or die due to disturbed roots, we'll be staring at the side of their house rather than greenery. That was the end of the conversation.

They have now sent through technical drawings for their proposal and the proposed wall for the renovated garage appears be to on our land. It feels a bit cheeky given how we'd left things.

Should we let them proceed? The land is the corner of our garden and isn't used for anything useful - it's very dark and full of garden junk. I feel for them that the shape of the land makes their plans pretty hard to achieve with the boundary plan as it is.

My main concern is loss of privacy from the loss of the trees. But then I'm wondering what the situation would be if they change their plans to follow the boundary - they may still end up killing the trees as I imagine the roots will be disturbed whatever work they do. If this is going to be the case (not that I want them to kill our trees!) should we just suck it up?

I don't know for certain, but am reasonably sure the wall is ours as our house was built a long time before theirs. I've attached a very bad drawing.

YABU - it's only a small amount of land and makes their plans possible. Suck it up.

YANBU - you don't have to give away your land and lose your trees to make your neighbours' life better.

To not swap land with my neighbour?
OP posts:
VioletBlanche · 24/06/2021 21:58

YANBU. You like your trees and bushes! They are yours and you deserve to keep them!

BonnieDundee · 24/06/2021 21:59

@DoubleTweenQueen

It's fuck off to the far side of fuck and when they get there fuck off some more.

I learned it here on MNBlush

And I definitely think the neighbours should do this

QueeniesCroft · 24/06/2021 22:08

As an afterthought, what are the chances of the builders not causing a huge mess and probably damage in your garden, OP? I've never seen construction work that doesn't look like a bombsite during (and often after!) the time the builders are there. Even if there aren't piles of rubble, there is likely to be splattered mortar etc.

BabyDereksToes · 24/06/2021 22:39

I would be investing in lots of weedkiller so they never get so much as a carrot out of that land!

rosyAndMoo · 24/06/2021 22:44

If you sell them the land, be aware that they can change their mind about actually going ahead with their plans, in which case they may not have to replace anything, but may then go ahead with different plans on land they now own, that could really affect your house property. I would firmly say no!

merlincat21 · 24/06/2021 23:06

All above is correct it changes the Title on your and your neighbours land which needs to be registered at the land registry. If you have a mortgage on the property then that is called a charge and the lender has to be notified as the value will affected. Party wall act comes into play on shared party walls which means a party wall agreement between you and neighbour. Don't do this it is hassle and a solicitor will be expensive and there will be major disagreements with your neighbour i have been through it not great and very stressfull

AdoraBell · 24/06/2021 23:17

I would run this suggestion by a solicitor. Tell your neighbours it needs to go through the proper channels, ie legal channels.

Runnerduck34 · 24/06/2021 23:29

Trying to understand your diagram, is it just the tiny triangle bit at the bottom they want? If so, from the plan(no idea of scale) it looks very small.
Our neighbours extended right up to the boundary two years ago and last year our two extremely large mature trees near that boundary died. The trees gave us a good degree of privacy and we loved them so we are gutted and I am pretty sure the build would have damaged or destroyed a significant amount of roots and probably causing them to die, having them felled cost us about 1k.
So you are completely and utterly within your rights to say no, but if you did say yes you could stipulate they plant large , reasonably mature trees or shrubs to landscape boundary and pay for all the legal paperwork, agreement, deeds etc as well as perhaps pay something for the land if you arent interested in the swap

godmum56 · 24/06/2021 23:31

@Runnerduck34

Trying to understand your diagram, is it just the tiny triangle bit at the bottom they want? If so, from the plan(no idea of scale) it looks very small. Our neighbours extended right up to the boundary two years ago and last year our two extremely large mature trees near that boundary died. The trees gave us a good degree of privacy and we loved them so we are gutted and I am pretty sure the build would have damaged or destroyed a significant amount of roots and probably causing them to die, having them felled cost us about 1k. So you are completely and utterly within your rights to say no, but if you did say yes you could stipulate they plant large , reasonably mature trees or shrubs to landscape boundary and pay for all the legal paperwork, agreement, deeds etc as well as perhaps pay something for the land if you arent interested in the swap
"perhaps pay something?

psst...wanna buy a bridge?

FlyingSoHigh · 24/06/2021 23:33

Why would you even consider this much unnecessary hassle? Just say no.
Also think about what you would do if they say yes to all your requests, but then never get round to replacing the trees, etc. Could you be bothered with the faff of taking then to court?
Just say a very polite no and forget about it.

JackieTheFart · 24/06/2021 23:40

I’m with your husband. It might be a pain in the arse, but so long as it’s their pain in the arse sometimes it is nice to be nice to neighbours. It’ll (I assume) make a significant difference to them and not much to you.

Of course it sounds like it will come at considerable expense and effort (on their side) and probably come to nothing anyway. But at least you weren’t the major blockers.

Heffapotamus · 25/06/2021 00:32

OP whatever you decide, it will be stressful. It's already stressful!
Don't do anything without legal advice. It's nice to be nice but disputes over property and boundaries have a way of escalating and turning lovely folk into total monsters. Sorry.

Pollypudding · 25/06/2021 06:32

@TreeTrials

If this was just my call I'd say 'sorry that doesn't work for me' but DH is pretty clear that he wants to pass the ball back to them to show that it's not going to work from a financial or hassle perspective. On that basis I'm trying to draft something which achieves that.
I am adding my voice to the chorus of “ no’s”. There is nothing wrong with saying no to unreasonable requests/demands. It sounds like your husband is trying to be the nice guy here and prevent a fall out with the neighbours and persuade them with reason and logic. The problem with this approach is that you are not dealing with logical or reasonable people as evidenced by them presenting you with these plans in the first place. It is not up to you to persuade them that it won’t work because of the hassle and cost. You have already spent too much time and energy on this. You can’t argue with crazy- just say no. And make sure they can’t do it behind your back.
Mummyoflittledragon · 25/06/2021 07:21

@Helpneededbyanoutsider

Unpopular answer but I think you should let them do it. Life is too short to be worrying about something so minor... plant more trees/ shrubs/ build a shed - endless possibilities! If you don’t like seeing into their garage/ them seeing into your house from their garage.
Your neighbour has found the thread. Lol.
RottieMum80 · 25/06/2021 07:51

As per the other comments, if you’re dead set on having nothing changed then you’re well within your rights to just say NO. However you could say you’d be willing to consider it but with various caveats - it is all done properly with all the relevant bodies contacted (solicitors, mortgage lenders, land registry, etc.) and that’s PAID for by them, if they preserve the wall, pay for replacement mature trees to provide the privacy and offer you a decent and useful piece of their land.

Nordicwannabe · 25/06/2021 08:24

I would be very wary that they will agree to the trees, and then once your existing mature trees are cut down, it suddenly won't be possible to source them.

Even if they show you the trees they will buy, establishing such mature trees is tricky. What happens if they die? Are neighbours responsible for getting further mature trees to try again (I'm sure they'll make that their top priority once they have what they want...). How many times are they required to do that before they can say 'nah, this isn't going to work'. We tried, but now you just have to put up with it.

Also how much of your time are you willing to give them as a gift, to sort it out on your side - even if they pay the financial costs?

DancingInTheGarden · 25/06/2021 08:27

I would just say no because of the MASSIVE faff. You'll have your garden invaded. not just the wall knocked down but those people IN your garden for months and months with no end and no respite because you said yes.
I can't imagine how much hassle it would be planting a mature tree AND rebuilding a wall on top of all the legal hassle.

@QueeniesCroft what the heck did you do about the 400 square metres of land stolen??

Nordicwannabe · 25/06/2021 08:29

Life is too short to be worrying about something so minor..

Life is also too shorts to spend 10s of hours speaking to lawyers, builders, gardeners, sorting out a mortgage change... all for no benefit and quite likely to the Op's detriment!

All you have in life is your time and your energy. That's a big gift you're giving your neighbour, just to be nice.

QueeniesCroft · 25/06/2021 08:48

@DancingInTheGarden

I would just say no because of the MASSIVE faff. You'll have your garden invaded. not just the wall knocked down but those people IN your garden for months and months with no end and no respite because you said yes. I can't imagine how much hassle it would be planting a mature tree AND rebuilding a wall on top of all the legal hassle.

@QueeniesCroft what the heck did you do about the 400 square metres of land stolen??

I'm ignoring the whole thing now, because otherwise my head will explode! The land isn't particularly useful to us because of its position, but it is still ours. Farming land in our area has had to be re-registered recently and boundaries checked. I'm waiting to find out if they have tried to register that area as part of their holding. My husband agreed to this and I'm making him sort it out, but it's going to be a slow process. They have been friends since they were babies and neither is likely to move, so this will need to be dealt with carefully. If it was just me, I'd rip the fence up and tell him to put it back properly, but Himself favours the gentler approach.
Nordicwannabe · 25/06/2021 09:00

@Thehop Have you considered taking the fence down and putting it back where it was? Borrow a chainsaw and buy some of that quick-dry concrete for putting in posts...

If you leave it too long, you lose your right to the land

AntiWorkBrigade · 25/06/2021 09:01

@CrankyFrankie

Sorry op just apprised myself of your updates! I think you and your DH seem entirely reasonable... Gosh, the cuntery of the general population is breathtaking though!
Is the “cuntery of the general population” comment aimed at those of us advising a no here? A tad extreme, don’t you think?
Nordicwannabe · 25/06/2021 09:02

(extra points if you do it late in the summer so you get the veg!)

CrankyFrankie · 25/06/2021 09:08

Yes AWB that was the inference Grin plenty of people telling the OP she must be thick/defective to even consider not being a cunt.

jugOFpimms · 25/06/2021 09:20

they need to buy that land from you OP !

AntiWorkBrigade · 25/06/2021 09:21

Ok. I’m in the firm no camp but haven’t called anyone thick, so maybe I’m just a bit of a bastard rather than an out and out cunt.

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