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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

18 year old contributing to household bills

138 replies

Legoandbarefeet · 21/06/2021 21:39

Evening mumsnetters. I’m interested to hear whether any of you have young adults living at home and if so do they contribute financially.
I’ve an 18 year who helps out with bsbysitting the youngest and works part time now they have finished college. I just wondered whether others in my situation ask for a continuation and if so how much?
For context I am a single parent working full time (NHS) not in receipt of benefits but not well off.
I left home at 16 and was living independently so obviously never contributed.
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Temp023 · 21/06/2021 21:41

I ‘m not going to take anything until they are working full time. They need money to enjoy being young.

Hax · 21/06/2021 21:44

Depends what they are doing next? Going to uni? Looking for full time work?
I never took anything from my DC until they left home (they both came home for a year after uni) but it's entirely different if you are struggling financially.

CanofCant · 21/06/2021 21:44

I left school at 16 and worked 3 part time jobs. I had to pay my mum £25 a week and I remember feeling livid with her about it. Grin Didn't know I was born!

Purpleguitar · 21/06/2021 21:49

How much babysitting are you expecting them to do? Do you pay them for this?

Bryonyshcmyony · 21/06/2021 21:52

I have an 18 year old who has just finished school and a 22 year old coming home from uni for the summer. I don't ask them for any money at all.

AutoGroup · 21/06/2021 21:52

Mine paid keep as soon as they were working FT, which was 18 for DS2 and 16 for DS2 but I didn't take anything from their PT jobs.

If they were planning on uni, I'd have expected them to save towards their living expenses though.

Luckyelephant1 · 21/06/2021 21:54

Why should someone be paid to babysit their own sibling?! Surely that's just normal helping out family?

OP I'd probably not expect them to contribute a set amount per se but maybe get them to help out with paying for groceries here and there. Will help teach things like the value of money etc.

HalzTangz · 21/06/2021 21:56

I charge my daughter 50 a month to pay towards the food she eats, she's working full time, but I rather her save money for a deposit on her first property

Eleoura · 21/06/2021 21:58

How many hours a week are they minding siblings and how many of them?

What are their plans? Get work, uni or other study? I worked part-time from age 14 through school, and then uni. I only paid towards rent whilst living at home once I'd finished uni and was working full time.

Ozanj · 21/06/2021 21:58

If she babysits and does a bit of housework then I wouldn’t ask for anything unless you absolutely need the money.

BluebellsGreenbells · 21/06/2021 22:01

Eldest works part time and just finished college so I won’t ask until she’s in full time employment.

GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 21/06/2021 22:01

I paid my parents rent from when I was 16. When I turned 16 they lost income and were struggling so I never saw an issue with paying.

Babyroobs · 21/06/2021 22:02

My 20 year old works full time but not on a great wage as an apprentice so I don't take money off him. I also know he does save. My 22 year old is graduating soon and coming home after Uni and has a full time job lined up. I will be taking some off him to save for him as he admits himself he will just squander it. We don't have a mortgage and don't need the money and to be honest they both tend to not be home a lot to eat.

Howshouldibehave · 21/06/2021 22:04

How much babysitting does he do? How many hours is he working and what does he earn?

sanityisamyth · 21/06/2021 22:07

When I was home on compassionate leave from uni, I had a full time, minimum wage job. My mother took 100% of my wages and the left me a space in the fridge for me to put my food. I wasn't allowed to take any other food. Except I couldn't afford to buy food as she had all my money. I lost a lot of weight in 10 months ...

SleepingStandingUp · 21/06/2021 22:09

If they didn't mind the kids, would you have to pay someone else to do it? How much are they earning and what are they expected to spend it on?

I'd say if they're saving you money and are using their money on stuff that they would previously asked you for, I'd let them off.

Assuming you get CB so if you've just got the 2 you've gone from 33 to 20 a week so £56 a month you're short of. Are you now paying extra council tax now? So maybe £100 short overall? How does that compare to the cost of childcare and them buying their own personal bits?

LemonRoses · 21/06/2021 22:10

I can’t imagine charging my children to live at home, ever. I understand someone in their later twenties, earning from full-time employment should, but would rather they saved towards moving towards their own home.
At eighteen I couldn’t have taken their money off them. Our youngest did her post university year in lockdown at home and working, but was saving hard towards moving to London when her grad scheme started. That’s happened and she’s getting minimal subsidies from us now.

CatsArePeople · 21/06/2021 22:10

i wouldn't take money from my child. On the other hand, if they were wasteful, I'd take some "rent" for savings when they need it later in life.

Iwonder08 · 21/06/2021 22:16

How exactly you working for NHS is relevant? Does it somehow supposed to justify taking money form 18yo who just started working part time?

YouJustDoYou · 21/06/2021 22:18

thebabysitting alone is worth it's weight in gold

mumto2teenagers · 21/06/2021 22:19

My DD2 is 19 and has a full time job, she pays us £80 a month.

DD is 21 and is due back from uni at the end of the month, she is planning on getting a full time job, when she does she will also pay £80 a month.

They both had part time jobs while at college but didn't pay us anything then.

Menora · 21/06/2021 22:21

Mine will be paying some token bills when she finds a job, about £100pm because I am a single parent it will be a lot tighter, her DF immediately stopped child support with glee last week, before she found a job and won’t give her any money directly either. I am still quite out of pocket but I thought it would be good for her to learn how to budget properly and be responsible for some bills.

Your child benefit stops, council tax discount, child support, everything and unfortunately not all of us are blessed with good fortune in spare money! I pay for her to be on my car insurance (learning to drive), all her food and all toiletries. She’s going to pay for our WiFi, the water and some towards food. I’m not charging her rent as such but if she finds a job, she will end up with more space cash than me

Menora · 21/06/2021 22:22

*spare cash

Bagelsandbrie · 21/06/2021 22:25

I think if they’re planning to stay home and work full time then when they start work full time it’s reasonable for them to contribute to the bills / pay some sort of rent.

However, my 18 year old is only working part time until she goes to university in October so I wouldn’t dream of charging her anything in these circumstances- I want her to enjoy her summer at home before university.

Beansontoast45 · 21/06/2021 22:26

Single parent, working full-time and also have a part time job. I don’t take anything from my kids age 20 and 18 one at uni one working full time. They are saving for deposits tho.