18 year old contributing to household bills

[Legoandbarefeet]

Evening mumsnetters. I’m interested to hear whether any of you have young adults living at home and if so do they contribute financially.
I’ve an 18 year who helps out with bsbysitting the youngest and works part time now they have finished college. I just wondered whether others in my situation ask for a continuation and if so how much?
For context I am a single parent working full time (NHS) not in receipt of benefits but not well off.
I left home at 16 and was living independently so obviously never contributed.
Thanks in advance

Mine never came back after schooling was finished, so don't have experience with adult children living at home. I do think you are on the right path with asking them to contribute to the household, but discuss it with them. I know a few people whose adult children haven't left yet, since they have it so good at home!

If they have savings goals, talk with them. If you know they are putting into an account for a future home purchase, then living at home cheaply will add greatly to their savings. But if they think that you will continue to house them and they use their money for foreign vacations, weekends away with friends, drinks out etc, then set them straight now before they are in for a shock!

A reasonable amount towards weekly food, utilities and rent is still cheaper than living on your own. But have a discussion as adults living together, rather than demanding they hand over part of their wages.

I think it depends on your financial situation and how much your child is earning. Also, how good you think your child is with money.
My sister lived at home whilst working f/t at a building society before going to uni in the 70s (brother and I still at school). My parents charged her ‘rent’ to teach her about the cost of living, but saved it for her and gave it to her later.
My brother and I didn’t have a gap between school and uni and so were never ‘charged’ rent. Mind you, in the early 80s you could afford to leave home!

So is the 18 year old going off to University?
Or starting an apprenticeship?
Or starting work ?

I mean, I wouldn't take anything before September. You get Child benefit until the end of August and are considered to be "at" school until 31st August. So I consider parents ought to be providing for them until the 31st August at least.
If they are lucky enough to get a PT job, that money should be for them.
From September, my would depend what they are planning to do - but if they are living in your home as an adult, then yes, they should be contributing housekeeping, in my opinion.

I had to pay for my keep as soon as I started work at 16.

When I wanted to go on a full time course for 2 years to become professionally qualified my mother said I had to give her the same amount of money out of my grant as if I was working. That made it impossible for me to qualify. My boss found me a place on a three year course with alternating periods of work and study. In my full time work periods I had to put money aside to supplement my student grant so I could pay my mother for my "keep". I cant tell you how much I resented that.

As soon as I qualified I was promoted and on a much higher salary. I moved out of the parental home almost immediately. I know that the loss of my keep money caused my parents hardship and my mother had to go back to work. It was payback time.

I paid £50 a week at 16.. I eearned £135. £15 was bus fare..

I paid £100pm from as soon as I had a job at 16. Christ i wish that was my only bill now. Didn't know I was born.

Depends if you need it. I didn't when ds1 started work so he paid a minimal amount towards food

I'm now a single parent who's youngest has asd and I'm on benefits so it looks like i will lose housing benefit when ds2 starts work so he's going to be paying the rent

I'm in the same boat as @menora, I'm a single parent and the lost of the single person discount on council tax etc hit me.
I am asking my 19 year old for a contribution. And she is happy to give it.
She'll still have plenty left for fun things and savings. I'm on a low income, I can't afford for her not to contribute.

My 20 year old is doing an apprenticeship and gets £21K out of that he has to pay £600 for his train travel and he saves £400 each month too. I just ask for £40 a month to cover petrol costs of picking him up from station each night.

My son is 22 and he works full time. We charge him £200 rent to live at home but he is paying it into a help to buy ISA. It teaches him about the value of money but it will also help him buy his first property in the future.

I wouldn't charge family under any circumstance. They should be saving for their future.

@PerveenMistry that’s fine if you can afford to keep them but like others I will lose Child Benefit, Child maintenance and council tax discount this Summer . I will have to take on an extra job to cover our bills so when DS works full time I would like him to contribute.

Thank you fir your comments. @Menora you seem to absolutely grasp my situation. Her ‘dad’ stopped giving me money when she turned 18 but gave her £20 a week instead (he earns more than I do won’t name the job as might get jumped on as I did by a pp for me mentioning who I work 🙄). My council tax will be up and yes I’ll loose CB. The ‘babysitting’ they do is wrap around childcare. Unfortunately my job means I leave at 06.30 and return at 20.30. I do pay a babysitter some evenings (£30-35 for 3 hours which after tax etc is not far off what I earn) if she is working that evening or has plans. I have an 8 year old who she drops to breakfast club and collects from after school club.
She’s on around £9 p/hr and does around 24 hours a week sometimes more.
I was just interested to hear from others what they did. Of course I don’t want to take money from her but some weeks if she is working my extra childcare can be £70 a week (on top of breakfast club and ASC £30 p week) which I appreciate doesn’t sound much to some but as a one parent family it does mean there is very little after bills. I was considering asking her to cover the council tax shortfall as a contribution over the summer. She’s not sure of her plans for next academic year maybe further education.

I might have to take on an extra job at some point. I already work 45 hours a week but 7.5 of that isn’t permanent and the loss of income into our house is about £400pm?

I so want them to have amazing futures and savings, cars etc but we have to be able to eat in the meantime

I think some kind of contribution is not evil or unreasonable. I am facilitating DD learning to drive, I’ve paid insurance, petrol and time to teach her so she has less to pay out for on lessons. I also paid for her theory test. It’s give and take

I knew this time would come so I have worked hard to get into a good financial position where I have no debt and small savings in case we can’t manage but it’s not easy to support another adult on your own one income sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up over it. What does your DD think?

I would only ask for a contribution from an 18 year old if they had a full time job, not if they were earning a bit between college and uni, or between college and their next steps.

My DD’s dad won’t give her anything direct
I asked him to give his measly amount to her for driving lessons, or at least take her out and get her some practice. He claims he can’t, whilst still decorating his massive house. Instead my boyfriend is helping me teach DD instead.
I have been tempted to take him to CSA for my DD2 as he’s majorly underpaying for years but it would cause my DD’s a lot of grief

Mine is working through the summer on 3 jobs earning a small fortune but I am not taking anything from him and told him to save for uni although I did tell him he could stretch to a tank for petrol for his own car when he asked me for petrol money last week!!!!!

When he starts working I will ask him for money and will save it for him

I mean working full time and isn’t a student anymore

Sounds like she's doing alot and enabling you to work. I'm not surprised she's isn't heading to university with alot of uncertainty at the moment but I don't agree with charging her when it sounds like she's does alot of drop off and pick ups to faciltie you working.

Personally I’d see her child care as the contribution she’s saving you a shit ton of money, if you charge her she needs to charge you for child care and trust me, her bill will be bigger.

I also don’t like the way you write when she’s working you have to pay extra for child care. It smacks of entitlement to her time in your tone.

Your child is your responsibility not hers, and if she’s helping you out and doing child care then be grateful and see that as her financial contribution. Or pay her for her time.

If you really need the money then you will have to do what you have to do but in general I didn't penalise them for bothering to get a job on top of studying by expecting a contribution. I didn't hand out other extra cash though and only bought their essentials.

She does sound as though she is helping you to work. She's a good ally for you, doing childcare etc. I would try very hard not to charge her.

but some weeks if she is working my extra childcare can be £70 a week

This sounds like you're blaming your childcare costs on her?! It's quite the opposite, she's saving you thousands by doing the wraparound care. With this in mind I think YABU to expect money from her when you're already benefitting financially from her help.

If I were her and I had to pay I'd probably up my hours at work and be unavailable for childcare to accommodate the living costs.

OP I would just work out what you have lost in income vs their contribution in childcare to see if it is similar and go from there

I see a family as a team, you all work together to get by.