What should I tell my sister? I don't want to tell her the full truth!

[glowyowy]

Ok so long story short my sister is a mortgage broker. I am in the process looking to buy a house with dh.

Without getting into it we have the cash necessary to buy a house outright. My sister does not know this...for two reasons

1. She talks A LOT and would find this great gossip.
2. She has an enormous jealousy problem.

So, she knows we are looking as it was hard to keep that a secret but now she is asking why we didn't use her as our broker. I don't know what to say. Either way she'll be upset/insulted/jealous and therefore angry.

What do I say? Lie? Or tell her the truth! Wwyd??

That’s easy - never mix business and pleasure

If she's nosy aka bonkers enough to go into the Land Registry (which she has to pay for) to snoop if you have a mortgage you need to make peace with the fact that however reasonable your response to her unreasonable questions you wont change her. This is totally a situation where people say: you can't control others' behaviour, only your own. Don't go into an elaborate lie just stick with the we didn't use a broker truth.

Don't blame your partner either.

Just tell her you don't want to discuss personal, financial information with family members.

If she checks on the Land Registry and is cheeky enough to confront you about it you say "I told you I didn't want to discuss money with you.....why did you do that?" Repeat.

@OVienna

Don't blame your partner either.

My thinking was less along the lines of “blaming” her husband, more reminding her that sharing info and making financial decisions are not OP’s sole decision to make, so the sister can’t pull the “but we’re sisters we tell each other everything” type card.

I’d probably just say you didn’t need a broker. It’s the truth. We do have a mortgage and didn’t use a broker. And unlikely ever to use one. DH likes to look for deals himself.

You just say you assumed she wouldn’t be able able to due to the conflict of interest, that’s why you never even approached her about it.

I'd just be honest OP, it's her issue not yours and you'd be seen to be making a much bigger thing of it getting caught lying. You've nothing to be ashamed of, so what if she does tell people and get jealous.

Why are people suggesting taking out a tiny mortgage incase your sister checks? Are you happy to make big financial decisions for your own family because of your sister?
It's none of her business and what she does or doesn't do or think should not be a consideration.

Understood. Comment not targeted specifically at you, just to clarify. But a very fair point.

The quote didn't work.that was to you.

Ffs

A few years ago my DH inherited a quite large sum of money and I told my sister how much it was. I went to her birthday party afterwards with all her in-laws and friends and lost count of the number of people who mentioned or hinted at us being 'loaded/well off' etc. It was obvious that they all knew exactly how much it was. We were both very embarrassed and really annoyed that they all knew our private business.
I would keep all details secret and just tell her it is private.