What should I tell my sister? I don't want to tell her the full truth!

[glowyowy]

Ok so long story short my sister is a mortgage broker. I am in the process looking to buy a house with dh.

Without getting into it we have the cash necessary to buy a house outright. My sister does not know this...for two reasons

1. She talks A LOT and would find this great gossip.
2. She has an enormous jealousy problem.

So, she knows we are looking as it was hard to keep that a secret but now she is asking why we didn't use her as our broker. I don't know what to say. Either way she'll be upset/insulted/jealous and therefore angry.

What do I say? Lie? Or tell her the truth! Wwyd??

I agree with pp, the fact that there's no mortgage will be clear on land registry im afraid

She knows everyone in each bank that works in mortgages.

and they'd be in serious shit if they disclosed anything to her about you or your financial dealings with them.

I'd just play dumb and say I asked my husband to make all the arrangements and look blankly if she presses for details.

Just say your DH arranged it all and you’ve not had a lot of involvement in the purchase. If she says she’s looked on the land registry play dumb and say ‘Oh I wish haha, there must have been a mistake’ and leave it at that.

I wouldn't want my sister or SIL or any other family member to know my exact financial situation so would never use them for mortgages. London and Country are free, whole of the market mortgage advisers and are recommended by MoneySavingExpert so it isn't as if every other mortgage adviser would be charging you.

If she looks it up later on then I would ask her outright why she felt she needed to do that. Considering her job and GDPR she doesn't sound entirely trustworthy.

All of this is none of her business, absolutely nothing to do with her. You don't need to tell her anything just that you do not want to mix family and business. Keep repeating that phrase.

I would say just tell her the truth- her reaction is her problem then (who knows she may surprise you). However if you lie then it is bound to come out and you will have lost the moral high ground.
On this case I would say honesty really is the best policy!

You could say that your bank offers free mortgage advice as a perk of your account or that it is park of a works benefit package.

I would tell her something like you thought it was like Doctor's they weren't allowed to advise family members. 😁

I'd go with the truth - you don't need a mortgage, and leave it at that.

It's the least bad option.

@HelloDulling

Tell her you don’t want to mix family with business. If she checks the Land Reg -though why would she, unless she already thinks you are cash buyers - you can either lie and say it must be a mistake, or tell her then.

Or you could say "how do you know we don't have a mortgage?" and wait patiently while she squirms with embarrassment

If she searches that and asks you then you should tell her she's a nosey mare and to mind her own business.

If someone was brazen enough to confront me on something like that after digging around I would 100% be brazen enough to tell them to bugger off.

@MissConductUS

I'd go with the truth - you don't need a mortgage, and leave it at that.

It's the least bad option.

But why should OP disclose personal financial info if she doesn't want to?

Surely she isn’t allowed to have you as a client?

Just tell her the truth and keep it simple. If she has a meltdown, then you'll just have to deal with it. But making up lies that can get found it will just make things worse, IMO.

You can't live your life always worrying about other people's reactions.

There's nothing to be ashamed of in being cash buyer, so I'm not sure why worry about gossip. Who cares that much about your financial good fortune?

The actual problem is the angry, jealous part.
I suspect I've no great advice on jealousy.
How will her jealousy manifest, OP? what will she do?

I have a similar problem.
Now I just tell them that someone else (mother, DH, whatever) sorted it. So what if she finds out and tell everyone? You can tell them that she’s mistaken and a liar, turn it back onto her. I doubt that every single acquaintance she talks to is crazy enough to look you up

Tell her nothing, just say it's none of her business (which it isn't) and you don't want to discuss your financial situation with her (which you don't).

You didn't use a broker. Surely most people don't?

*"I'm going to have to tell the truth aren't I!?"

No-just tell her that you have everything in hand & don't want to discuss it with her.

Either way she'll be upset/insulted/jealous and therefore angry.

Do you like her? Why must she not be allowed to get angry?

Tell her straight - it'll be like ripping a plaster off, less painful in the long run. Then block her if you have to.

Just tell her - lies or half lies have a habit of coming back to bite you on the bum!

I'd tell her it's none of her business what you're financial situation is and you're not mixing business with family for obvious reasons. If she does a search or contacts any bank/lending institution purporting to be acting on your behalf I'm just wondering if it is possible to put an alert on your transaction so you'll know if someone has searched on it?
Could you take out a 10 year mortgage (even if you don't need to) and pay it down in 5 maybe?

Just say DH is in charge, I'm sure he'll give you a call if he needs any help.

I'd tell her "We didn't need a mortgage broker" and leave it at that, she can make of that what she wants.

PPs are right, she could check the mortgage position on Land Registry but if you say thecabove, you won't be lying. It will also take a while now for LR records to be updated, she might lose interest by then.