Trigger warning: To think most women have experienced sexual assault?

[Pattypans]

Name changed, regular lurker and poster.

I am a mum of 2, married for 15 years and a month back, while in quarantine returning home - I was sexually assaulted by a staff member of the hotel.

I was alone traveling back from seeing my sickly parents and I just never thought I was “at risk”.

As a child I was sexually abused and told my parents who did not try to protect me from my abuser. He remained in our life in the same way. I was raped as a teen with my mom in the next room and and in my early twenties had my drink spiked and was raped again. Since then I steadily gained weight and in many ways felt like my weight protected me.

My AIBU is I’ve come to realize most of my friends and most of the women I’ve spoken to over the years - they all seem to have their own story.

So AIBU -

NO - means you haven’t been sexually assaulted or abused.

YES - means you have been sexually assaulted or abused.

I am in trauma counseling, involved police, been for STD checks and other help.

I think I voted wrong.

Research shows you're right, so yanbu.

Sorry I think I worded the poll wrong 😔

OP i'm sorry you went through that.

I think most women don't know what sexual assault is in some cases as it's ingrained into our experiences of being a woman.

I don’t understand what you want me to vote but I think it’s fair to say that most women have experienced something from a stray hand to rape.

As the saying goes, it might not be all men but it is all women.

It’s happened to me 3 times.

I’m so sorry for all the horrible things that have happened to you

I hope the police do a good job and the counselling is helpful.

I’ve heard so many people say the same about gaining weight in similar circumstances, you’re not alone.

I can't vote but I've never been sexually assaulted, I'm 33.

I am slightly confused about the voting …

However, most women in know have been sexually assaulted … it’s grim, but reality. When I used to go out clubbing (in my younger days), I don’t think a week went past where someone didn’t grab my arse, tits .. or make a lewd comment

Yes most women I know have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Most when younger but some in their 40's or older

I think a lot of women, especially older women, don't recognise some things as sexual assault.

I was talking about it with MIL (82) a while ago. In her first job, she was repeatedly groped by her boss. He used to grab her bum when passing, rub up against her behind the counter and stuff like that, but it never occurred to her that this was sexual assault.

#metoo.
My assaults were quite minor compared to most, I was groped in the street by strangers 3 different times in my teenage years. It still affected me though.

I have never been sexually assaulted but I can’t help but think that the vast epidemic of mental health issues is massively fuelled by unspoken sexual assaults.

There was a horrific story on the BBC website of twin girls who committed suicide as teenagers after sexual assault, which was not acted upon.

I think you are right. Between a third and 50% of my friends have suffered some sort of sexual assault (usually from partners or family members). I've never been physically assaulted but have sustained domestic emotional abuse and plenty of sexual threats and bullying and TBH I count myself extremely lucky.

Mid 40s, never been assaulted.

None of my friends or siblings has even talked or admitted having been assaulted either.

That hardly proves anything does it.

Mid forties and no, I've never experienced sexual assault.

#metoo

Raped by an on-off ex 15 years ago. Has definitely affected me significantly. I didn't see it for what it was at the time even though I was left hurt and bruised afterwards.

I am confident and heartbroken I will not be the only one he has done this to or will do this to.

He got married earlier this year. I feel so very sad for his poor wife and small children who know nothing about who he really is. He is very good at masking.

I'm confused by the voting!

Don't have any female friends close enough to know who haven't.

Are you including flashing/ groping in pub etc OP? Different people think of different things when they hear sexual assault.

I don't know if it's most women, but due to it being something many prefer not to talk about I can imagine the numbers are frighteningly high. It's happened to me

I have been sexually assaulted twice.

Surprised by the results of the voting, so not sure if I misunderstood. Either way, I think you're right that most women and girls have experienced some sort of sexual assault or abuse. I'm so sorry that you went through what you did.

I've never been raped, luckily, but I couldn't count the number of forceful grabs, stray hands fear and uncomfortable situations I've experienced. You're not wrong. Sorry OP.

There was a 'small sexual assaults' thread about 10 years ago that was really mindblowing.

I think part of patriarchal society is convincing us that it is super rare, so we end up suffering alone and possibly blaming ourselves.

Sadly yes, im obese and ugly and was assaulted in a supermarket, about 3 metres from a security guard. I was mid 20's, he cant have been more than 12/13, stood right in my face after too laughing with 5 mates stood right behind him. Felt like i'd be the one judged and not believed and would be laughed out the store ifbi tried to report it due to his age.

Sorry I never worded the toll properly. So I don’t think the voting will reflect accurately.

Yes. And yes part of the reason for my weight gain is the invisibility it gives me. Glad for that and for being pretty old now. I just get lewd and unwelcome comments now.

Yes I have, an by an ex boyfriend over about a 6 year period.

I've suffered with anxiety as a result.

I'm sorry those things happened to you op