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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour has built a bar

329 replies

Julshk73 · 20/06/2021 10:25

My neighbour has spent the last three months building every night beyond 10pm. Sawing hammering, no use of my garden this year so far. Yesterday they unwrapped their new building.

It's a bar.

On a raised platform.

That looks right into my daughters bedroom.

She is terrified as a preteen as grown men were staring in all day yesterday.

Then the drinking began.

Until 3am we couldn't even hear our tv for the shouting screaming and chanting.

The council noise team aren't working due to covid. The police don't answer calls anymore on 101 (we tried several times on advice of the council).

What can I do?

My daughter is extremely distressed at losing her privacy and I cannot deal with parties that go on until 3am that are so loud we have no respite.

Help?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Wombats12 · 20/06/2021 11:58

Cameras aren't expensive now and you can have them solar-powered or battery. Definitely have a look, they've come on a lot.

Changemusthappen · 20/06/2021 11:58

Firstly you need to start logging every conversation you have with them, every time he does this as well as sound recording everything. You need essentially to keep a diary.

Get on to planning tomorrow and report him.

Buy some blinds that let sun in but cannot be seen through for your daughters room. How high is it? Can you buy a potted tree and position it so they can't see in.

Long term look into getting CCTV. It sounds as though they are the sort of people who will just continue to be nasty I would recommend getting recordings of it all and repeatedly report them to the police and council.

You need to make a nuisance of yourself OP. I really feel for you though, I think people's anti social behaviour is getting worse.

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 20/06/2021 11:58

If it is more than 2.5m as measured from the ground (so combined height of platform + bar structure) then it definitely needs planning permission. Good luck OP. It sounds awful.

Busybee5000 · 20/06/2021 11:59

Agreed that planning regs specify no building over a certain height etc, try looking here - www.planningportal.co.uk/info/200128/building_control/38/building_regulations

piefacedClique · 20/06/2021 12:01

Can you just put a camera on your daughters window looking at the bar? Then no outside electrics needed?

PurpleyBlue · 20/06/2021 12:01

Thanks for the updates, makes sense now in my head a bit. Would net curtains help? Can you put a big fence up at the end of your garden? I think the security light is a good idea. And keep calling the police every time they harass you. Maybe mention they keep staring at your daughter as that sounds so weird. Good luck Flowers

2bazookas · 20/06/2021 12:02

Perhaps that chinking sound you can hear is the sound of money as he illegally sells alcohol . HM Revenue and Customs would be very interested in the shebeen.

Your daughter can get net curtains or a venetian blind to protect her privacy.

Alternista · 20/06/2021 12:02

That sounds horrible, you poor thing. Here are my ideas:
Contact planning department
Contact environmental health
Buy privacy film
Buy stink bombs

BearOfEasttown · 20/06/2021 12:02

@Wtfdoipick

Contact the planning department at the council first thing tomorrow. If it's raised platform it'll need planning consent. If your neighbour is a complete arsehole rather than just unthinking then it's going to take a while to sort but the planning department don't like people who ignore them.
This. ^ Straight to the council I would go. What an absolute nobhead building something like that, that looks straight into the windows of your home.

And why the fuck should the OP put frosted film on the daughter's window so the men can't see in? Why should she get blinds or a trellis and a climbing plant? Or keep her curtains shut?! Confused He should NEVER have built this, so it looks into the OP's house!

I would report this to the council, because you can bet this bellend never got planning permission.

How horrible for you @Julshk73

I hope it gets sorted soon. This neighbour sounds fucking dreadful. Is it an option for you to move?

@osbertthesyrianhamster

It's pretty unbelievable, isn't it? Who builds a fucking bar in their back garden in a residential area and uses it as party central?

Inconsiderate, arrogant, entitled nobheads, who think the world revolves around them. The same arseholes who play music super loud, because they think the entire world should hear their shit music, and who leave trash lying around when they have been to the beach or park, and who throw crap out of the car windows into the grass verges, and who let their dogs shit on the footpaths, and piss up people wheelie bins, and who let their dogs off the lead and say 'he won't hurt you, he only wants to say hello' when the mutt leaps on you/jumps up you.

Entitled nobheads. There are quite a few about sadly...

It speaks volumes about the posters who are defending this neighbour ... And yeah, a few people ARE defending him, by saying the OP should just get frosted film for her daughter's window. Or just close the curtains! Hmm

WTAF?! Confused Are you actually serious?! No way in hell is it OK what the OP's neighbour has done. Needs reporting to the council. Tomorrow. They will make the fucker take his shitty bar down.

Lilibet2022 · 20/06/2021 12:04

Call the council, call the police if they are making noise at 3am and for God's sake TELL HIM.

Telling these people does SFA. They don't care and won't listen. They'll also play the victim when the police turn up saying the op started it first. The police advised me no matter what my dickhead neighbour does or says to not talk to them at all and just report to them all the time. Apparently it can be seen as provoking them. Police and council every time. Police attendance is the best evidence you can have especially as it's taking years to get these arseholes moved on at the moment.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 20/06/2021 12:05

I live in a row of semi detached houses. My next door neighbour can see into DS's bedroom if he's in his garden, so can the people whose garden backs onto ours. That's just how it is when you live in close proximity.

Don't get why it's such a big deal. People do like to make a fuss.

RickiTarr · 20/06/2021 12:06

I’d buy a fire pit and lots of green wood.

AdobeWanKenobi · 20/06/2021 12:07

Mirror film on her windows would help for a start, they work well and are a cheap solution, just remember they work the opposite at night so if her light is on they will see in.

Soubriquet · 20/06/2021 12:08

Get some frosted window film and place that on the window

There is even stuff where you can see out but they can’t see in.

Then contact the council and see if planning permission was granted for this bar and if not raise a complaint about it.

Contact 101 when the parties are going on past 11pm. Every time.

Get CCTV and have that as evidence if he starts harassing you

Keep a log of all noise complaints and any harassment for the council as evidence

FrownedUpon · 20/06/2021 12:09

Why is your daughter terrified though? You sound very over dramatic. Draw the curtains. They’ll get bored of the bar soon enough.

ineedaholidaynow · 20/06/2021 12:09

@Waxonwaxoff0 slightly different when you build a raised platform which results in even less privacy and then spend hours on it and looking in the direction of someone’s windows

Lilibet2022 · 20/06/2021 12:10

Don't get why it's such a big deal. People do like to make a fuss.

The op has also said she's tired after being kept awake all night. The very calm neighbour who lives behind us lost his shit this week when him and his wife were being kept awake until 2am. It was alright for the dickhead neighbour she could sleep it off. Him and his wife had a 10 hour shift to get through.

roobicoobi · 20/06/2021 12:10

today she's in my room but it's not setup for her miscalculation needs. also i work from my room and all my kit is there so that's not possible daytime.

They are out there again?

we have no other rooms to accommodate her - the living room looks into a busy road.

But people are generally not looking in? What is she doing that she cannot be in her own living room?

i feel like such a failure today. i can't protect her.

You could shut her curtains for today then go down the suggested routes re planning etc during the week.

Soubriquet · 20/06/2021 12:10

@FrownedUpon

Why is your daughter terrified though? You sound very over dramatic. Draw the curtains. They’ll get bored of the bar soon enough.
Wouldn’t you be if a group of men, one who has behaved aggressively in the past, were getting drunk and looking into your window?
roobicoobi · 20/06/2021 12:11

Perhaps that chinking sound you can hear is the sound of money as he illegally sells alcohol . HM Revenue and Customs would be very interested in the shebeen.

HM R&C Confused

It's a garden bar. Very common since lockdown last year.

VorpalSword · 20/06/2021 12:13

You can get battery or solar powered CCTV, but you would have to put them where they are it going to be damaged. Alternatively you can put the on your house, angled so they can see the fence etc...

Start keeping a diary of all the incidence of harassment, including the broken glass etc...

EastWestWhosBest · 20/06/2021 12:13

If they were making a row until 3am then there will be other neighbours who will be pissed off too.
Can you talk to the people on the other side of him and even over the back?

Inertia · 20/06/2021 12:14

I think contacting planning at your local council is your first step, it sounds as though the platform breaches regulations.

If he threatens you, call police on 999.

HalzTangz · 20/06/2021 12:17

Get CCTV fitted to your house, that will prove rubbish being thrown etc, if possible get CCTV that records sound, then you will also capture ay threats.

Does he own his house or it council. If council continue with complaints procedures showing evidence from phones and CCTV.
If they were as loud as you say also speak to other neighbours, team up and make joint complaints

LonginesPrime · 20/06/2021 12:17

Telling these people does SFA. They don't care and won't listen. They'll also play the victim when the police turn up saying the op started it first.

I wouldn't confront them either - especially if they're already as brazenly abusive as they are - no good can come of it, and if they're drunk too, it's a recipe for disaster to try to stop them partying in the moment yourself.

I've lived next door to ppl like that and after naively trying to appeal to their reasonable sides when sober (which just made them more pointedly aggressive towards us), I concluded that once they're already being unreasonable in not giving a fuck about their noise levels and the disturbance they're causing in the early hours, they're not going to magically see the error of their ways because I pop round and alert them to the fact they're being too loud.

It's not like they don't realise they're inconveniencing others - it's that they don't actually care, so trying to reason with them direct achieves nothing.

That said, my current NDNs (we moved from the horrible ones) have loud drunken parties in their garden throughout the summer - but it's only when they get drunk and their judgement goes that they get really loud, and I know if I asked them to be quiet, they absolutely would (usually when it gets bad, another neighbour tells them to STFU and they all apologise and go inside).

OPs neighbours are obviously the first type, so appealing to their reasonableness won't help as they don't have any.

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