Neighbour has built a bar

[Julshk73]

My neighbour has spent the last three months building every night beyond 10pm. Sawing hammering, no use of my garden this year so far. Yesterday they unwrapped their new building.

It's a bar.

On a raised platform.

That looks right into my daughters bedroom.

She is terrified as a preteen as grown men were staring in all day yesterday.

Then the drinking began.

Until 3am we couldn't even hear our tv for the shouting screaming and chanting.


The council noise team aren't working due to covid. The police don't answer calls anymore on 101 (we tried several times on advice of the council).

What can I do?

My daughter is extremely distressed at losing her privacy and I cannot deal with parties that go on until 3am that are so loud we have no respite.

Help?

[ineedaholidaynow]

Are you houses built on a slope so the bar is level with your daughter’s bedroom?

[Julshk73]

he was building the deck for months and the building wasn't apparent until late this week. it's use not apparent until last night.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

If it's on a platform it needs planning permission, so keep on with your local authority.

Sounds like shit. So don't just put up with it to be 'neighbourly'

[Ellmau]

If men are really peering into your DD's bedroom while she is in it, you need to report it to the police.

Also follow up with planning as suggested.

[Julshk73]

I would if they weren't aggressive. They have cut down things in my garden and when I approached them the man threatened me. He filmed and harassed me on camera going down my own driveway. The police spoke to him. Since the. they've thrown rubbish, dog poo and broken glass over regularly (only once with acccess) however without witness nothing can be done.

So speaking isn't possible.

[ImprobablePuffin]

OP what did you say to them last night re the 'staring at your daughter' all day? If you believed that this is what they were doing surely you would act on that?

Or were they actually not spending all day staring and just sitting facing in your direction?

If it's the latter you really can't direct what way people sit in their own garden.

[ineedaholidaynow]

Do you have other neighbours, they might not have the privacy issue, but will have the noise issue?

Is the building on a raised deck?

[Lilibet2022]

@Julshk73 if it's nice where you are today. Try and get out for a walk in the afternoon. It sounds silly but living next to a CF for what feels like a century for my sins being out of the house as often as I can is keeping me sane especially on the nights we've been kept awake all night at the moment whilst waiting for the relevant authorities to their bits and bobs.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

I'd get cameras on your house. It's a certain type who does this kind of thing and it's never the type whom you can speak to rationally.

[Julshk73]

@ineedaholidaynow

Are you houses built on a slope so the bar is level with your daughter’s bedroom?

no they built a platform for the building and cut down several trees - dd bedroom is first floor.

[ImprobablePuffin]

X post. Ok I understand why you wouldn't talk to them if they're aggressive characters but did you call the police to report the staring at a minor etc?

[ineedaholidaynow]

Can you afford CCTV?

[SleepingStandingUp]

So the structure doesn't face down his garden but at an angle and half-1 story off the ground?

Get onto planning tomorrow, there's no way he's got permission to build that.

If they're making a racket past midnight I'd try 999 rather than 101.

Can you swap rooms with your daughter short term as I assume you spend less time in there than she does? She obv needs to make sure if she's in there getting dressed etc the curtains are closed and I'd tell her to avoid staring out the window when she's in there as it might unfortunately encourage drunken idiots

[NinaMimi]

I feel for you. It’s them who are being terrible neighbours and you shouldn’t have to put up with it. Sure you can put some tape etc on your daughter’s window but it’s not going to solve them being anti-social a-holes.

[Julshk73]

lillibet we'd love to get out but my daughters medically vulnerable and having been out am bit comfortable right now with how most are behaving round here - no masks and no distancing. her age group can't be vaccinated yet either so her bedroom was her life.

today she's in my room but it's not setup for her miscalculation needs. also i work from my room and all my kit is there so that's not possible daytime.

we have no other rooms to accommodate her - the living room looks into a busy road.

i feel like such a failure today. i can't protect her.

[crankysaurus]

I wonder if the police would be interested in it as a safeguarding thing, given it's effectively been built to look directly into her room.

[NinaMimi]

I meant to say I think getting cameras yourself is a good idea to capture them throwing things over etc

[crankysaurus]

I'd also agree with getting in touch with your planning department.

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

OP, you say your daughter is 'terrified and and extremely distressed' but you're not going to do anything to protect her?

Let them be as intimidating as they like. It's time you stood up for both of you. Show her how to stand up for herself. Call the council, call the police if they are making noise at 3m and for God's sake TELL HIM.

You've got to take some action or you'll just have to put up with it.

[Julshk73]

thank you for all the great ideas - truthfully almost sobbing with gratefulness folks. we're off to order some things and i have made notes to plan to contact different places this week.

really - thank you xxx

[penguin23]

I can totally imagine men standing and staring into your garden and house. My awful neighbours have parties all through the summer and where the lawn area of their garden is raised so high, people who are around 5ft 10 and over can easily see over our fence into garden. Any time my DD aged 8 and I are out in our garden the men at the party stare at us, just literally stand and watch us. If I tell them to mind their own business I get a load of abuse. And they continue to watch us to the point we have to leave the garden and go back in the house, where they can still see us as my ground floor is open plan, so I’d have to go upstairs to escape their view. It’s awful, I totally sympathise OP.

[LonginesPrime]

The police spoke to him. Since the. they've thrown rubbish, dog poo and broken glass over regularly (only once with acccess) however without witness nothing can be done

I know it's an expense, but I think a security camera would be a sound investment here - it's still much cheaper than moving house.

[RickiTarr]

@burritofan

Yes it’s impossible to understand
Not really? The neighbour has built a bar on a raised platform in his garden. The people he’s inviting round are staring in the OP’s windows. Privacy film doesn’t really cut it because OP’s daughter should be allowed a view.

Everyone scratching their heads and going “I just can’t comprehend!” and “sounds unlikely” is being disingenuous and goady af. If you think OP is making it up, say so.

Well said.

[Julshk73]

@LonginesPrime

The police spoke to him. Since the. they've thrown rubbish, dog poo and broken glass over regularly (only once with acccess) however without witness nothing can be done

I know it's an expense, but I think a security camera would be a sound investment here - it's still much cheaper than moving house.

yes I agree - however to put in cctv there would require putting in power across my path garden and driveway so very very expensive just to get ready for a camera sadly

[Julshk73]

@penguin23

I can totally imagine men standing and staring into your garden and house. My awful neighbours have parties all through the summer and where the lawn area of their garden is raised so high, people who are around 5ft 10 and over can easily see over our fence into garden. Any time my DD aged 8 and I are out in our garden the men at the party stare at us, just literally stand and watch us. If I tell them to mind their own business I get a load of abuse. And they continue to watch us to the point we have to leave the garden and go back in the house, where they can still see us as my ground floor is open plan, so I’d have to go upstairs to escape their view. It’s awful, I totally sympathise OP.

thank you for sharing this - all the folks commenting who would think someone would make this up? like i have nothing better to do on a sunday morning! i'm sorry you have to deal with this. it's doesn't help when people don't believe you becuase they've never known it.